Men and Marriage!?

Question

Why is it that Men who are so lovey dovey while courting, so understanding, charming, caring, passionate, affectionate, loving, flexible, polite, humorous, life-of-the-party suddenly change couple of months into the marriage?

All their charming attributes goes puff!! Before marriage they kinda encourage their lady to take on the world, be career oriented, be trendy, chic and fashionable. After marriage - ?

What brings about this change? Marriage? Just by getting married everything changes? Just like that? So does the argument favor live-ins? Will romance be kept alive if the couple didn't marry?

Why does the woman suddenly appear to be from Venus after marriage? Till then she is the apple or diamond of his eye. His heart thuds and pounds the moment her thought flashes by. He continues to converse with her even in her absence. He understands and tunes in to her very soul. Then?

Not logical at all. Is it Men? Women? or the Institution of Marriage?

Answer 1

I don't think it is as an extreme as you state it (though I am a man), and simultaneously things change with the woman as well.

For those who hadn't lived together before, marriage means you are together a lot more so that you can see sides of your spouse that maybe are not as flattering. And also, one is not a guest in the other's house, but everything is ours.

I also think men and women, who do still love each other, unitentionally start turf wars early in a marriage - I think it is part HUMAN nature - not just men or women.

But overall, marriage isn't bad. Realities just set in.

Answer 2

You use a lot of humanist ideas for a preacher.

1) Its not the fault of the man, but the couple. Its interactive. There are some couples where the man stays "lovey dovey" for life.

2) You sound bitter. Are you bitter?

3) You have to understand the problem, in this case the personal economies, negotiation methods and strategies of the partners, and perceptions and misperceptions that occur in order to make a determination of who is at fault. Im much more willing to blame a lack of good marriage models in modern culture. Theres this push to get married, but not a real, shoe-leather based training of how to be married, how to be excellent at being married, and how to stay married. Media is full of how to fight, divorce, and stay divorced though.

Answer 3

That's also a tactic some men use to keep a women. Lovey Dovey and then control, verbal abuse, and beatings once married.

You here the same stories told and the same questions asked from battered women.

Just happened to my friend too! Once married the beatings began.

Answer 4

Its that expectation that marriage is the finish line in the relationship. Once the race is over why should we continue to run. However, marriage isn't the finish line it just another leg of the race. BTW, women are equally guilty of changing to their worser selves.

Answer 5

Not at all sure what the answer is because the same happened here...i realize that I changed too once we were in the same house 24/7, but I still showed him I adored him and loved him, did things for him, etc. I couldn't tell you the last time he told me I was pretty or looked nice, that he appreciated me or even a heartfelt compliment

Answer 6

That didn't happen in my case and I've been married for 28 years. Yes, over time things do change. It is called maturing. But I didn't see the sudden change that you described.

Answer 7

its because before the wedding he's getting his dong sucked on all the time and she's giving up that p u s s y to keep him on the hook

once she's got him though, her legs close and he realizes he been the victim of a scam and he aint getting no more p u s s y

Answer 8

the same reason that wedding cake lowers a woman's sex drive by 90%

Answer 9

Marriage is a very out dated idea, keep in mind when invented we only lived to be around our 30's or so.

Answer 10

if the wife turns into a big COW over night, then yeah,,, that's gonna happen!