A guy that I've dated (he asked me out) and have been sleeping with for the past 2 years just told me he didn't find me attractive. I consider myself very attractive-e.g. blond hair, blue eyes, skinny, sexy body, dress sexy etc. And many men find me attractive. Nobody has ever told me this before. So I am confused about the definition of attraction. Then I asked him, "So there are even men out there who would find a hottie like Jessica Alba not attractive?" And he said yes. He said beauty is in the eye of the beholder/is subjective. Is this true-that each of us find different people (e.g. their face and body) attractive? I feel I have all the standard/typical physical qualities that a man would consider attractive in a woman. And I don't think he would have dated and had sex with me all those times if he didn't find me attractive. So I don't understand why he would say something like this.
2007-06-25 08:46:00 · 12 answers · asked by Citygirl 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Different men like different kind of women. It sounds like he used you. Move on with your life, you deserve better.
2007-06-25 08:54:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off yes beauty is in the eye of the beholder...blond hair blue eyes and a skinny body doesn't mean you will attract every guy out there.. I personally am 5'3" 190lbs with baby fat and my husband adores me we have been together for 5 years. People are more attracted to personality than anything else.
Also it should be noted that what some people fall in love with originally can and will sometimes turn out to be the downfall of a relationship. My friend used to use this girly baby voice that was cute like a 4 year old....her BF found it totally hot and they were together for a year, after that year he broke it off because he got annoyed about how she would never use her normal voice and would have other men sniffing around.
Looks aren't everything hon and the sooner you realize that the more attractive you will be to men.
2007-06-25 08:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I get into the answer to this, I'd just like to state for the record that I am fat and I have had people proposition me because they prefer fat women. That was at a time when I was borderline obese. So there! Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder. What someone finds attractive has a lot to do with what they see and experience around them from a young age. If you look at couples, especially younger ones, you will find that in general they will find attractive those of the opposite sex who look something like their family member(s) or those who are significantly different. In the first case its what you're familiar with, and in the second case its "opposites attract" Physical attractiveness is someone's looks. There are social standards on who and what is beautiful and what is not. We all know it based on the models that are plastered in our media. Sexual attractiveness is what turns you on. Frankly, in my case, too much physical attractiveness turns me off. I can't ever take a really truly handsome guy seriously. I just can't. There's mental connection, experience connection, family connection, etc etc etc
2016-05-20 00:54:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for being confused, sweetheart, but it's time to wake up. This guy has been using you for two years.
Yes, it's true that many women considered beautiful are not experienced that way by all men. In fact, men fall deeply in love with, and are strongly, physically attracted to ugly women. Looks aren't everything--and the best looking women are sometimes really lousy in bed.
All of this applies to men, as well as women.
His opinion of you does not lessen you in any way. The most beautiful women in the world eventually find out that they are not attractive to every straight male on the planet.
What does diminish you is the fact that you haven't split yet.
Get a spine and move on, kid.
2007-06-25 08:58:01 · answer #4 · answered by Austin W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is true, attractiveness is not just the physical appearance but a combination of things that bring two people together. Personalities, activities, yes some prefer blonde's, some brunettes, some red haired, busty or less endowed and the chemistry of the mix. There is more than the eye candy attraction especially for a long term commitment, then again maybe he is afraid of the long term commitment.
2007-06-25 09:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by Pengy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's true that beauty is subjective and that people have different tastes and likes or dislikes. People are affected by personalities, attitudes, or interactions they have had with someone in their opinions about attractiveness and such...everything has some part of attractiveness.
But...this guy doesn't seem to be worth your time worrying about. There are a billion reasons why he could have said what he did...perhaps he thinks that's the easiest way to say that he won't have a more serious relationship with you. Whatever his motive, it sounds like it would be best for you to move on and find someone who does find you attractive.
2007-06-25 08:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by Windi S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Attractiveness isn't just about the physical aspect of it. Do your senses of humor match? Interests? Perhaps you are too high maintenance for him or too low maintenance. Too up tight, too....uh.... superficial........ Physical beauty can only hold attraction for so long. Its the other qualities that keep an attraction going. I think what he meant when he said that to you was that he was looking past your Jessica Alba-like body. Perhaps he isn't attracted to you as a person. Did you seriously think that just being hot was enough to keep a guy??? If so... you have a lot to learn.
2007-06-25 08:57:46 · answer #7 · answered by TimMack007 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i believe that he grew tired of you,he was sick of the same old routine,the same person everyday the same sex the same life.he didn't feel like being bothered with and wanted to sleep with someone else (or probably already was) and that was his way of telling you.girl,don't think about him he wasn't any good for you he was just gonna bring you down.obviously it wasn't meant to be .you need someone better than him,someone who will actually take care of you and love you for you ,who cant get tired of you no matter what you do.it has absolutely NOTHING to do with your appearance and you have nothing to worry about.don't let him get you down because he is missing out on a good thing.and he'll realize that one day.stay strong and stay happy as long as you do that he is nothing and no one.
2007-06-25 09:01:14 · answer #8 · answered by asasora 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men will have sex with women who are not attractive, maybe he used you.
2007-06-25 08:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by Angelina N 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change. People get bored. And atractiveness is not what you look like, but how you act.
2007-06-25 09:00:57 · answer #10 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋