How can I have more sex with my wife?

Question

My wife and I have been married almost 2 years. We went from 1-2 times a week to 1-2 times a MONTH. We talked and she asked me to be more romantic and less touchy-feely (I thought she might want that before we had sex. WRONG). I have done those things and I've been patient but it hasn't improved. Am I doing anything wrong, and if not, what can I do to fix this situation? Do I threaten cheating or moving out? Do I stop doing chores around his house? Need advice.

My wife is very satisfied, she has told me this many times.

I married, as a lot of men do, for a ready, steady sex partner. I didn't get married to be a roommate.

We don't have kids. She has class 3 nights a week and I do a lot of the housework.

I've been more romantic, I send her flowers at work and send her notes during the day. I write poetry (bad poertry, but poetry nonetheless). I try touching her and cuddling, but she says I do it too much, so I'm stuck.

Divorce is not an option, by the way.

The reason this is a big deal is because as a married man I expect sex at least once a week. And when all of our friends are having sex 3-4 times a week (AND they have kids!!!) it's very disheartening.

Answer 1

This may sound wrong, but what do you have to lose.

What you are doing is not working.
Continuing doing the same thing and expecting a different result is crazy.

Women want to be with their EQUAL, not the servant boy.
By doing what she says you are the servant boy.

Women talk with words, but communicate EMOTIONALLY.
Just because she said she wants "A" does NOT mean she really wants "A".

Women over value their sex.
They think the more they can get for sex means the more they should charge more. (Flowers, dinners, romance are payments for sex)

Women like to be in the center of things and have your attention.
If you get a hobby or something that will take up your time she will try and make you redirect your attention on her and she will use sex to do it.

How about you learn how to cook and make her clean up the mess. Its a practical hobby. Trust me cooking is not that hard its all about planning, scheduling and doing. She wil think you are being romantic, but you are in fact being independent.

Answer 2

Don't stop doing chores! LOL! There's a saying, "No woman ever shot a man while he was doing the dishes."

It's normal for the sex life to dwindle a bit, but it doesn't have to disappear. I don't know what pressures your wife is under, but if there are kids or if she has a stressful job, she might just be tired. Sex may become just another chore in her eyes.

Remember that sex, for a woman, starts days ahead of time, so you can't just grab her and expect her to delightfully jump into bed at a moment's notice. When she says she wants romance, establish little habits like a passionate goodbye kiss every morning. Hug and cuddle her often without expecting sex. In other words, don't sneak up behind her and grab her rump or breasts. Instead, wrap your arms around her and give her a hug and compliment her in some, sincere way. Sit with her at night in front of the TV and cuddle on the couch. At night in bed, spend time just talking about things. Women love to have a man share what's on his mind. Cuddle in bed without initiating sex unless it's clear that she wants it. At all times, make sure she knows you find her beautiful. Let her know she is a woman of great worth to you.

Be helpful around the house, but be sure you show your love for her by doing things that make her life easier, such as fixing broken things around the house. When she does loving things for you, let her know you appreciate it.

Set the mood for sex. Make sure she can relax and not worry about kids or other things that have been bothering her. Let her take a soaking bath so she feels clean and feminine. Make sure you are clean and nice-smelling. This ought to go without saying, but a lot of men don't realize how important it is to a woman for her man to smell clean.

The biggest turn-off to a woman is for you to demand sex, especially if you add an "or else" onto it. Don't be crude about what you want, either. "Hey baby, let's F---!" just doesn't cut it in the romance department. Don't criticize her body or other imperfections.

You have to practice all of the above on an ongoing basis, not just when you want sex. I think you'll start seeing a change in her and she will reciprocate in many ways, not just in the bedroom.

Answer 3

Really, marriage isnt all sex, is being together and share experiences, thats why she does not want to do it, ignore ur libido for a while and try to b a person she would like u to b, then shell surprise ya.

or

She is sick of havin sex cuz u do it too frequently

or

She is not satisfied when u have sex and she does not want to offend u

PS: U are a bad husband, u should love her more than any other thing instead of sex, that why u married!!

Answer 4

Cheating is not to be considered in any way. Give her wants she wants. I am talking about surprising her, go a weekend getaway, or cook her favorite foods. Those things are very romantic. Most of all, remind her of why she fell for you in the first place. You see, people get married and they get comfortable. There is nothing wrong with that, but never stop trying new things.

Answer 5

I wouldnt threaten her to get her to have sex with you. Why dont you just snuggle up at night with her and talk to her. Then start slowly touching her. She will let you know if shes interested. But then again I am the kind of freak that likes it every day if not twice. Thats how I get it. We usually have quiet time where he smokes a cigarette as we talk and I just start touching him and rubbing his chest or playing with his hair on his chest then so forth. By the time he gets done with the cigarette hes ready to go though he probably was before he lift the cig. Just be patient with her and be gentle with her. Definately do not threaten cheating or moving out.

Answer 6

stop doing stuff around the house? no! ask her what would help to put her in the mood, do you help out with the kids and household chores? bc i know sometimes i feel so overwhelmed with stuff to do that having sex is way at the bottom but my husband will help out and give our son a bath or do the dishes, so then i am not so tired when we go to bed and it doesnt take much to get me in the mood, just try talking to her again see what she wants or needs, dont threaten anything bc thats just not the right thing to do, this is something you have to work through together, maybe its just a phase, my husband and i have been together 7 years and married 2 and i know we go through our dry spells too, its just phases, this too shall pass, hopefully, good luck.

Answer 7

Maybe she doesn't want your marriage to be more of sex. I mean that's what married ppl do but i mean she does what you want (sex) do what she wants (romantic) try to cook dinner or go out someplace nice, come home with flowers and chocolate( just an example substitute with something she likes) before she goes to bed try giving her a massage or when she's watcing tv cuddle with her. I no thats what u want but maybe doing things that she want can help u what u want

Answer 8

Wives don't put out - it is a well-worn joke but unfortunately it is a fact of life.
Like most women - they put out early to get the guy. After marriage they get lazy. They think to themselves that they can always "do it" later or on the weekend and then something comes up.
Sorry pal - you are out of luck.
Learn to pick up chicks on the sly.
CAUTION - do not fall in love - this new chick will be no better than your wife.
Just use her for your needs. After all that is what she is doing to you.

Answer 9

You can't read her mind so don't try to. What you need to keep doing is things for her that do not involve sex. Clean the house, cook, do dishes, do the laundry, run her a bubble bath, rub her back. AND DO ALL OF THIS WITHOUT expecting sex! I know it is hard to do, but my guess is that she feels that all you want from her is sex! She needs to know that is not true and you can not do that with words it must be through actions.

Answer 10

you need to have a serious sex talk when she is ready to actually talk about it. you need to find out what it is because obviously what she said b4 was a cop out. is it that she does not desire you or she has a low libido.....what is it honestly. you will have to talk about and may be see a sex/marriage councilor while the marriage is still new.