Men are just desserts?

Question

I have heard of a book called Men are Just Desserts.

I guess the idea is, to get women not to be dependant at all on having a man.

The idea seems to be, after a woman has already solved all of her problems and basic hurdles in life, getting along socially, getting and keeping a good job, finding an adequate place to live etc...

Than! The reward is - She gets a man, because then she is the most capable to have the relationship. She then has enough independence ( her car, her own job, confidence, etc ) to be happy within the relationship.

What do you think of this book? is my question.

Answer 1

I'll be your dessert w/ cherries on top..
Actually, the book has been out for some time. It simply empowers women to not settle for marriage and family as an end-all goal. The concept is feminist but not so much as to be a man-hater book.

Answer 2

Well the only problem I see with it is that men are being called a reward of sorts for women who have their stuff straight. I dont think men (or women for that matter) are a reward in any situation, thats pathetic and insulting.
However, I do think that women capable of doing such things would be better equipped to handle a marriage or strong relationship after accomplishing such things. Before I married I had (and still have) a good job with plenty of benefits, my own car, good credit, and lived completely alone for three years (and the previous two living with roommates). I got to know myself and my wants better than someone who lived with their parents or was dependent on others. I also learned how to handle finances and the value of budgeting.
I see too many women going into and staying in relationships for financial stability, and other sorted insecurities so if these things were handled prior to serious relationships I think many would be better off. Men arent the rewards for such accolades, womens independence is the reward.

Answer 3

I read that book a long time ago, and thought it had some insightful information. Too many people expect their partner to be their "everything". People need to be comfortable in their own skin before they can be part of a healthy relationship. The simple message the author is trying to convey is that a woman does not need a man to complete her. He can certainly enhance her life, but he doesn't have to be the center of her universe.

Answer 4

First of all, you will never get all the problems in your life solved. Ever. There will always be some sorts of problems. Secondly, having a man in NO reward! Do you actually HAVE a man??!!! Its no easy row all the time! Plus, we women usually take care of all our men's needs too.....and that includes cooking, cleaning, laundry, raising HIS babies up properly, etc......women were designed because MAN NEEDED a companion...women can get along just fine by themselves, its men that need women, not vice versa.

Answer 5

It may somewhat overemphasize the independence thing, but I have to agree - women would be much better off making sure they can adequately support themselves and a couple kids without a man, before becoming involved with a man. Too many "men" turn out to be scum suckers who disappear and leave society with women and kids to support. That way, a woman can frankly tell her lover "I can f*ck you because I WANT to f*ck you, not because I HAVE to f*ck you!"

Answer 6

I think thats a load of crap. Just like saying women are just another trophy for a man. come on , relationships are much more complex then that. I agree with the premise that it would be great if all men and women were self-sufficient prior to entering a lifetime commitment, but thats not reality for either sex.

Answer 7

Husbands are the Main Course and Lovers are Desserts.
Too man y women leach off the husbands and need to stand on their own two feet.

Answer 8

I think people should make up their own minds how they want to run their lives. From what I've seen the most successful couples are those that work TOGETHER to solve problems and achieve goals.

Answer 9

IT SUCKS X 3...........