Mailorder brides have become so popular because American women are not feminine enough ?

Question

That is what one guy who mailordered his wife from Russia said.
I think it's a control issue.

I know,Holbrook.I hear that all the time too.My fiancee is a childhoood friend,not mail-order.Some people annoy the hell out of me with their comments like that.

I love Colombia,I'm thinking of going to Medellin next year.I know plenty of Colombianas who are very materialistic.

Answer 1

Mail order brides are more accepted for the same reasons as internet pornography, internet dating, technology, mobil phones, international travel, and curiosity. What makes me sick is when the internet sites promote "Sexual Tourism" ... that's so many crimes against love --- YUCK!!! Ah, but u'r talking about "Brides" ....

Some times it works out for the good. Other times it is a disaster beyond any persons wildest imaginations. In of itself it is not good or bad. However, the participants ( Husaband or Wife ) can make it bad. This is similar to marrying after "Dating" ... the participants can be good daters or bad daters. It's all in the quality and morals of the people getting married.

I'm a firm beliver that you reep what you sew ... so a dude above me was talking about "control" and "deporting his wife" back (7 year grace period) ... ah, the quality of that man is very poor. The woman too can be poor. I've seen men marry women 10-20 years younger than them (with good intentions) and then the mail-order wife will disapear on them when they are "terminally ill" --- which is a huge crime against love & marriage IMO.

Bottom line is marriage is loving, and it can be hard regardless of the circumstances. It is when we can give of ourselves more than we take that a marriage has a fighting chance to survive.

Answer 2

Romantic marriages based on dating are a recent phenomenon. In most times and places, marriages have been arranged, largely based on economic considerations. If a man arranges a marriage over the internet, his American citizenship is a considerable economic asset, which gives him much more bargaining power (and a wider range of choices) among foreigners than among Americans. So, I think in most cases it is not a matter of control, it's a matter of bargaining power.

To many that might sound cold-blooded, shallow, and materialistic. But are economic considerations shallower than things like the shape of a nose or the color of eyes and hair? Once the bargaining is done and the marriage is begun, romance and love can and usually does develop between two reasonably compatible people.

Another reason American men have more bargaining power with foreign women is that, as Hazeltine said, American men are more likely to treat women as equal partners. In other words, American women have trained us so well that it has made us more attractive to foreign women. (And that training lasts, unlike the subservience training that foreign women get from foreign men.)

Answer 3

dear. its not so easy to control Russian women, from my knowledge (im of Russian descent). I think this is more about convinience. Just think about it - you don't really have to meet the person, spend time with them etc. Secondly, russian women have something that many American women i wouldn't say don't have, more like block it away. Its certain openness and simplicity. In the American women its often times blocked by a striving towards things material and it seems like many of them don't know otherwise. In Russia, it a little bit easier, although when they come here it might change still. Once again, this is just an opinion ill understand if you or others don't share it. I do think that American Women are extremely sexy though....

Answer 4

Nah, it's not about control. I guarantee russian women aren't the type to be controlled that easily. But it does seem where I'm from (sf bay area) are getting manlier by the year, even the way they walk talk and dress, though i've noticed things are better in the south of this country.

Anyway, I married a very feminine "mailorder" bride, and believe me I lost "control" of her somewhere between our reception and honeymoon. :o

UPDATE: the reaction from american women here is laughable. Ra-yer! (ya know, the catty noise from seinfeld). To dismiss some of the notions from a "mail order bride buyer" himself:

1. I had no trouble attracting women before going online, I had trouble meeting feminine ones here in the US (though within the immigrant community it was a little easier, just couldn't find one who shared my faith).

2. I pushed my wife to get her driver's license and went out of my way to get her in contact with fellow brazilians. I also pushed her to learn english and she's got plenty of non-brazilian friends too.

3. Not my equal? Where do you come up with this stuff?

We've talked about retiring in Brazil, so I guess my days of controlling her are limited, eh?

And one more, I saved myself for marriage and wanted to find a woman who did the same. As I got older it was obvious I'd have to look to latin america, asia or africa for a woman close to my age who was still a virgin. Fat chance in the US.

Answer 5

My wife is not a "Mail Order Bride"...but she is not from the US, she is Colombian and I met her in Colombia...I was married to an American woman...and I can tell you this Latin American women are less materialistic, they are family oriented, and many believe marriage is forever...most American women I have dated, and there have been hundreds, usually their first question is what job do you have (how much money do you make) and what kind of car do you drive...my wife when I met her in Colombia (I was working down there for the Army) first question was what did I like to do for fun and what were my idea on family...very refreshing...many American women will say an American man that marries a foreigner, can not get an American woman...I can and have...I just don't want one...

Answer 6

i know that there are women who are doing it for the green cards and there are men who do it to finally be able to absolutely control someone. but the truth is that it does mean more to many...if there is such thing as arranged marriages in which people sit down and put a price on women....and those marriages somehow work, it makes sense for something like this to work...

i just think that it's not for everyone...people meet in strange ways, some are willing to take that chance...but i do believe that most of them are doing it just to find love

Answer 7

I have to agree. How much control will a Woman have if she has no friends or family and cannot speak the Language?

The Sad thing is that a lot of these Women come here to get away from situations back home. No one wins here.

Answer 8

I think the control issue is part of it. I also think it has to do with a shallowness aspect as well. The guys also want something more attractive and/or exotic than they can get through the traditional methods.

Answer 9

Look at who mailorder brides are popular with. Sadly, most of those guys couldn't attract a partner any other way than buying one.

Answer 10

Women want to come to the US for economic opportunity. There isn't the same drive for American women to immigrate elsewhere. There could be demand for American women, but the supply is lacking.