What is the best way to bring up the idea of spicing up our sex life to my girlfriend of 4 years?

Question

We have just been in a bit of a rut lately, and I want to let her know I still find her attractive. I would like to bring up ideas of how to spice up our sex life (role play, different positions, stuff of that nature), and am wondering what would be the best way to do this?

I was thinking of picking up something from victorias secret for her and leaving it out somewhere she would see it when she got back from work with a little note saying something to the effect of i cant wait to see you...but afterwards how would you suggest me bringing up the idea of role play, or handcuffs, or games of some sort?

any advice would be appreciated, thanks!!

also, sorry if this question is offensive to anyone

i realize im not married, but im also not single...we have been together longer than some married couples we know, thats why i went ahead and put it in this section

Answer 1

Tell her you are wild about her and want to please her in any way you can--have her tell you her fanatsies.The reason most relationships get into a rut is lack of communication. As far as the handcuff idea is concerned, tread lightly, not everyone is into that type of thing.

Answer 2

I would say that you should bring up the handcuffs and stuff during non-sex time. Maybe rent a movie with things of that nature in it and mention that if she was up for it that you would be willing to try it out sometime.

Answer 3

Go back 2 when u 1st started having sex and do the cutesy things u used 2. Try "courting" her by doing the whole flower, dinner, and a movie thing. That never gets old. Sometimes, being creative isn't what u need sometimes u just keep it basic and simple.

Answer 4

role playing is good. but depending on the type of person she is, so dont go too drastic at first. no dominatrix just yet. but you can do small stuff like you come up to her and ask...."whats your name? do you have a boyfriend?...." she will see that you are playing around and go along with "well my name is ___ and i do (not) have a boyfriend....." small stuff like that can start the role playing and its cute. later you can get into the nurse-patient thing. after you wet your feet with the small stuff, it will be easier to get to the handcuffs.
as far as games goes...what kind? they have dice you can get with sexual things on them. when you role you have to do what it says. you could try sex coupons. like a "free sex pass" or "free all you can eat"

Answer 5

Bring new spice into yours and your girlfriend's sex life by being playful about it. If you find something you want to do that will be fun for her to try as well then approach it as that. If it's fun then she'll be more likely to buy into the idea.

Answer 6

4 years? Just come out and ask her! Its ok to be blunt sometimes, as long as it is done with love.

DON"T listen to the people chastising you because you aren't married.....everyone knows the sex goes downhill after marriage and besides...what hypocrites! You mean to tell me EVERY married person here waited until marriage to have sex????? LMAO!!!!

Some people DO NOT want to be married!! Hello????!!!!

Answer 7

buy some massage oil and learn some massage techniques.


also, very spontaneously, run to the freezer and bring an ice cube or two. I'll leave the usage to your imagination :)

Answer 8

Can you go into Amazon.com and purchase two of my books?

101 NIghts of Grrreat Romance by Laura Corn

101 Nights of Grrreat Sex by Laura Corn



I'll give you a special price plus a freebie.

;)

Answer 9

I think you should as her what turns her on, what is her fantasy, what would she like to do between the two of you. You might be surprised she might want the same things. Interject your fantasy. One way to do it is, make talking about fantasises as part of your foreplay.

Answer 10

New Coffee Table Book "Karma-Sutra".
Let her find it, but just keep it in the living room.