I have been married for 6 years now.My wife and I have no kids and we just purchased a home.Lately, my wife is always calling into work.She says shes sick(Which she sometimes is but wont try to go to work).She has been fighting with me alot lately.Her attitude has changed .I know there is no one else but I feel as if she is growing apart from me.I tell her this and tell her if she isnt happy in her current job to look for another.She wont.She promised to work hard and put all of our money into our house but It hasnt been going that well.I dont know If I should try a different method or what?It feels like Im raising a kid.She hates being called a kid but hey, if the shoe fits?Im open to suggestions?
2007-06-25 07:53:26 · 16 answers · asked by jmillhimes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Only a professional could say for sure, but some of your wife's behaviors sound like classic indicators of depression. Lack of motivation, shift in attitude, unexplained illness - all good warning signs of depression.
Try reading this Depression article on WebMD to see if her behavior is consistent with someone suffering from depression.
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-diagnosis
If it continues, you should consider seeking help from a medical provider. There's a lot they can do to help get beyond the physical causes of depression and other life-impacting conditions
Regardless of whether or not it's depression, try talking with your wife to see how she's doing overall. Try to set aside the current stressful situation long enough to find out if there's something deeper that's causing her shift in attitude. Then, rather than pulling in two different directions, you may be able to come up with a solution that you can work together.
2007-06-25 08:56:06 · answer #1 · answered by Marty B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what to think. Is she just unhappy with her job now, all of a sudden? Or has she always felt that way? Have you been trying to have children and she can't get pregnant? It sounds to me she's rebelling against something - yes, much like a child - so you have to figure out what it is. If she feels like she's house poor - since you said all of your money is going to the house, then she may be feeling resentment towards that. But oddly enough it's usually the other way around, it's usually the woman who wants the expensive house and furnishings and the man is feeling like he's working only for a house. Anyway, ask her what she's feeling beneath all this. Something is bothering her, your job is to find out what. Good luck.
2007-06-25 15:00:36 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What kind of personality does your wife have? Is she a perfectionist? Is she a social butterfly or a loner? It sounds like it could be depression or an anxiety disorder, but I'd have to know more about her. Maybe I'm overestimating here, but either way, she needs to solve the 'not going to work' thing. Maybe you should suggest she get some counseling. It might help her figure out why she's avoiding the office, and if/what a better career is out there.
One more thing: as far as her acting like a child - it's okay for you to think it, but saying it out loud really won't help things. If my husband called me a rhymes-with-witch, it certainly wouldn't motivate me to be nicer to him.
2007-06-25 14:58:59 · answer #3 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's either extremely frustrated or suffering from depression. The worst thing you could possibly do in your situation is to be outwardly judgemental or to nag about her actions. It will push her further away from you. Lavish unconditional love and attention on her and ask her if she feels frustrated or overwhelmed. Then LISTEN to her and ask her what you could offer to do that would help with the situation. (DON'T automatically start trying to fix the situation for her...ASK HER what you could do to help and then take your cues from what she tells you.)
I understand how frustrated you must feel with her actions and attitude changing, but hang in there and be supportive.
p.s. If you called me a kid, I'd sock you in the head with my rolling pin.... :)
2007-06-25 15:04:11 · answer #4 · answered by southerngifts4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut her off from your income.
Start a separate bank acct under your name only.
Get rid of things like cable tv, because is will save money and make the house a boring place to stay all day.
She needs to pull her weight and if she doesn't she will only drag you down.
2007-06-25 15:23:07 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be a form of depression or some other issue that is causing her to act this way. Sit down and talk with her and might even suggest she talk with her doctor to see if these false sick days are related to depression.
2007-06-25 14:58:18 · answer #6 · answered by QCCP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either get her to talk to a therapist or a minister or something to try to work out whatever the problem may be.
2007-06-25 14:59:45 · answer #7 · answered by Nick T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to talk to her - it sounds like you married her with expectations of how she would be & she isn't that way. Talk to herr about what each of you expects from this marriage.
2007-06-25 14:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by molly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get help from the experts man. I mean, get her to go a psychologist? It is important for you both to see why she has that behaviour.
2007-06-25 15:00:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say that either she is not happy with you or not happy at her job it would be best to find out and work it out with her try talking and seeing what you can do to make things better....
2007-06-25 15:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋