My wife of four years has pushed me to pursue my ultimate goal in life and go after the Border Patrol. Now she is playing this game of "I refuse to move or teach in the valley" Basically shes playing this , Sacrifice game, where she thinks she was given up more than I have. What do I do, I have put my goal on the backburner for a couple of years now and if I put it off any longer it'll be too late.
2007-06-25 07:52:40 · 26 answers · asked by tysonberry8669 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her if she doesn't want to move with you, that you will come home when you have a few day at a time off. Get an apartment near where you work, and thank her for convincing you to follow your dream. Let her know you would prefer to have her with you all the time, but if she doesn't want to give up her dream of teaching where she is, you certianly can't fault her as she ahs pushed you to presue your dream. Hopefully your schedule will allow you to be home at least a couple of day a week or so. This will either be the situation, convince her to come with you, or allow you the freedom to find someone who will not only encourage you to presue your dream, but support you when you decide to do so. No matter which is the case, at least you will be happy with what you do for a living. Trust me when I say that has a huge impact on your overall happiness.
2007-06-25 08:00:23 · answer #1 · answered by s1lvermidnight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a little confused by this. A lot of my wife's family is Border Patrol here in Texas and I know that her Uncle and his family have moved a lot in order for him to get a high ranking. The confusing part to me is that she wants you to pursue your dream career, but she doesn't want to support you in it....that doesn't make sense. If you want my opinion you need to decide what you want and then put your foot down and tell her how the "cow eats the cabbage" (i think that saying is appropriate for this). Do not start a huge fight over this, but let her know that this is an opportunity of a lifetime for YOU and that it is something that YOU really desire to do. Ask for her support in all of this. If she is a committed wife she will begin to understand the importance of you doing this. Let her know that you are also nervous about all of the changes that this job will entail but that you feel the pay off will be better for each of you in the long run. Hope I helped, otherwise good luck
2007-06-25 15:03:48 · answer #2 · answered by mlp7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Decide what is more important. Your goal or your marriage. If it is your goal and she is relentless then perhaps you don't need to be married. She is being unreasonable by not supporting you. She has pushed you to pursue your goal and now doesn't want to play fair on the playground.
2007-06-25 14:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would chase my goal or dream, obviously your wife is important to you, but if you can honestly say she is having the bigger half of the cake... Then wheres the partnership in it.
If you are determin to keep yourself and her happy, offer her something in return for helping you achive your goal, something she has always wanted maybe =)
Good luck!
2007-06-25 14:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by Hb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not about keeping score over who's given "more" up. She's encouraged you to pursue your goal, now she's taking it back? Why is it her way or no way? See if you can compromise a little. Sounds like she is being unreasonable.
2007-06-25 14:56:05 · answer #5 · answered by Yogi 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You really need to sit down and have a good one on one talk.If she supported you in this before,something has happened to make her change her mind.You need to find out what??
Maybe she's feeling a little insecure right now.You have to reassure her that this is for the best for both of you and that you really want to go for this before it's too late.
Good Luck.
2007-06-25 15:00:02 · answer #6 · answered by sonnyboy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on wheere you live i know pleny of people who drive liek an hour to work if thats what they love, And if you love 3 hours away or something compromise say well honey you encouraged me to do this and now I want to I think to compromise lets move to a center point so you can teach here still or move districts and I can do my dream.
2007-06-25 16:28:58 · answer #7 · answered by chattergurl1986 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are keeping a score card of who got to do what and who gave up the most, you have more important issues than your career goal. You guys need to work on your communication and give and take skills. Good luck
2007-06-25 15:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm never one to advocate divorce or leaving over something so trivial. You wife and you need to both make sacrifices in life and games are childish... She needs to understand your goals in life and wishes for your future and I would hope that future involves her...... However.... If she won't any be open to it. You need to decide if you could ever forgive yourself for not attempting to reach you goal.
Many choices in life are not always easy.... but you need to follow your heart.
2007-06-25 15:01:25 · answer #9 · answered by Mulysa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My best advice is to find out why she's doing this. Ask her if she'd move up north. Inform her of everything you have given up for her. She can teach anywhere.
2007-06-25 14:57:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋