He's 16 and generally a good kid. No drinking, drugging, running around or any of that stuff. However, I have never in my life seen a more defiant person. He has decided that things will be done his way by everyone in this house, and nothing should be done by him. If he doesnt get his way, he stands you down, screams foulities and can get physical. Is this normal? What can I do to regain control? I am seeking serious input.
2007-06-25 07:05:07 · 10 answers · asked by christine l 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Tell him that every one gets a vote for each dollar paid to the morgage (or rent). Since at 16 he's probably not paying much more than $100 towards a $7-800 rent, you outvote him. ;)
Seriously, now. He is a control freak, and you need to break him of this habit NOW.
What is worse, you have stated he gets abusive. If you do not curb this *now*, you are going to be having serious problems when he becomes involved in a relationship, has kids, and when he has to start taking care of you later in life.
If he hits you, CALL THE COPS...and press charges!
If he starts screaming obscenities at you, ask him what is his problem? Also ask him what you ever did to engender that kind of disrespect?
The only way to prevent someone from bullying you (and your son IS a bully), is to confront them and not back down.
He will need concilling sooner rather than later.
Defiance is one thing, but this is YOUR home, and as the parent, it is YOU word that is law. Knuckle under and kowtow to him, and you will loose all respect in his eyes.
One thing to remember, that if worst comes to worst, your life could be on the line...if you ever reach the point where you're genuinely afraid for your life/safety, or for that of other members of your family, toss him out and change the locks. I genuinely hope that your son's anger and control issues can be dealt with safely via other means, since I hate to see families torn apart.
2007-06-25 07:36:27 · answer #1 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Family counseling should help. Shock therapy sometimes helps, too. For example, when my nephew started these same behaviors, his father and mother completely stripped his room while he was at school one day of everything except what he had paid for out of his money. It was a real eye opener when he came home to an empty room except for a play station he couldnn't even play b/c his parents had bought his tv. He was furious and went to stay with a friend for a couple of days, but when he came back home, he had a whole different attitude towards his parents and the PRIVILEDGE of living under their roof with them footing all his bills.
2007-06-25 14:41:45 · answer #2 · answered by stevijan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes growing up to regain control i think you should take away computers until he starts showing you respect.if other children are in the house then password protect the computer.and let them use it just not him.
2007-06-25 16:47:13 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's going through a stage of rebellion that all 16 years olds go through. maybe seek counseling and try punishing him for his action. maybe, if he has plans that night, tell him he can't go. or, try just sitting him down and asking him straight-out why he does it,
2007-06-25 15:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take controle as a parent again,tell him that by doing that he isnt gong to get his own way.
2007-06-25 14:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by Kαtydid ★ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
counseling
he may need medication for moods.
my son was very defiant and his doctor put him on abilify and it has helped a lot.
2007-06-25 14:17:21 · answer #6 · answered by Cornell is Hot! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
go up to him with that pimp hand, and keep it strong, show him whose boss, u brought him into this world and u can sure as hell take him out, if he gets physical with u, theres always 911
2007-06-25 14:15:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
just understand that he's growing up. don't treat him like a kid. it will make things worse.
2007-06-25 14:07:17 · answer #8 · answered by Sam 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
rent the movie thirteen it helps trust me
2007-06-25 14:09:53 · answer #9 · answered by lisa d 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
use da belt,....it always works
2007-06-25 14:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋