i am 52 with loving wife and two grownup daughters and still in love with a married women. what shall i do?

Question

I love my wife. But I love that other woman also. Ethically I know that I am going wrong. But my heart is asking of more of that other lady. It something like I like a home dish and I would like to eat at a good and decent hotel also. My home dish is excellent. But would like to eat another healthy dish from a healthy joint too. Please somebody make me understand what is happening to me. It is something like daily I have my food at home and week ends would like to go outing with fammily and dine out at good hotel. I would like to know, whether I should go ahead with a healthy extramerital affair

Answer 1

Healthy extramarital affair??? Honey, there is no such thing as a healthy extramartial affair. You are just bored right now and probably going through a mid-life crisis.

You reap what you sow. If you do start an affair, you will be found out and you will lose everything that you have worked so hard for, not to mention your wife and family.

This affair will come back to haunt you. Do you really want to take that risk? Also, the bible says adulterers will go to hell. Do you think you can stand to be tormented for eternity? Read the book "23 Minutes in Hell" and I guarantee you will change your mind in a heartbeat.

Answer 2

Dear! There was a 9 year old girl the other day who was asking for help because her parents were getting divorced, and you know what, she said that she was feeling suicidal. How would you feel if you were to cause any of your children to feel suicidal? Do you really think that the grass is greener on the other side of the street? This has to stop, and you can't resign from your job if it's the livelyhood of your family. YOU have to rethink your priorities. Lust doesn't last. Love does and survives a lot. Love makes you strong, forgiving, and when there's nothing left, you still have the comfort of love. YOU have to choose YOUR family, and let that woman be. If her destiny is to be with a married man, then it's simple, it doesn't have to be you. It'll only be if you let it. You can't sack her if she hasn't done anything to you, but you need to make it clear that it's back to normal, and if she makes things difficult, then maybe you should sit down and discuss it with your wife, before deciding resigning from your work. It won't be easy, and yes, you may risk losing her, but because you will have chosen HER, you may well discover that she doesn't want to give up on you. Good luck and just put that threat of a woman back to her place. She has a family. She should get back to them. Office affairs rarely work anyway. So, you'd lose big time by choosing her!!

Answer 3

You can't help how you feel, but you have control over what you DO about it.
The only way to have a "healthy extra-marital affair" is to include your wife. If she knows and approves, go for it. If she get to play, on the side, too, go for it.
Otherwise, you will have to sneak around and lie, and be disloyal and a weasel. Imagine what your girls would think of you, if they found out. They will.
This is when you find out what kind of husbnad and man you are. It's easier to be married when you are in love, when you are making money, when you see your youthful selves in the mirror, but NOW, when you are looking at your mortality, realizing that your time is running out, it is hard to use your head and not jump on the first person who smiles at you. You are basically using that other person as a lifeline. If you can have one last fling-one exciting time before you exit, anything you lose will be worth it. To hell with your old life, right?
This is a full-blown mid-life crisis!
My best recommendation is to go to the doctor for a check-up. Tell her you are having these thoughts. She may refer you to a specialist. GO!(I know how men are about doctors.)
Meanwhile, try not to think about the other woman. Get a new hobby. Take your wife on a mini-vacation. Visit the zoo, or local museums and enjoy the view. Go camping. Start going back to the gym.
Turn TOWARD your wife for the love of your life. You two could be having a ball, now, like before the kids were with you, and before you die of some illness. Now is the time to live it up, with your LIFE's Partner, not some passing fancy.
This is more than about appetites for sex or food, this is about what kind of man YOU are. Losers turn their lives and families upside down for an (fairly) unattainable piece of aS$.
A winner, on the other hand, has his emotions under control, and is loyal, kind, unselfish, loving, and REALLY MARRIED.
Eat at home.

Answer 4

Sounds like a mid life crisis! A Man I know was just about in the same circumstances as you and he had the affair and married the other woman and it lasted for two months. You figure out if it's worth risking every thing for a shot of leg on the side!

Answer 5

Mid life crisis. What's the answer? Understand why you're going through this and decide that it's time to grow up and stop with the 'young bull' fantasies. Your life is wonderful as it is, why try the grass on the other side of the fence now? All because your ego wonders if you still have 'it.' Not a great reason to ruin what has been a great relationship...so far.

Answer 6

No extramarital affair is healthy, but I understand your pain. The truth of the matter is that you may have to discuss this with your wife without mentioning names. It's possible that her outburst may help you tone down this feeling for the other woman. If she does encourage it for any obviously crazy reasons, then you've got what you wished for. Most societies these days does not accept polygamy and that leaves you with very few options. So you need to tread carefully with this one. Good luck.

Answer 7

Leave your wife and have a relationship with this woman, or stay with your wife and don't. I may not be 52, but when I was married I wanted to have sex with everyone BUT my husband... We had a lot of issues and we didn't need more. So I didn't cheat on him. I'm now single and CAN have sex with who ever I want... LOL... Now I dont want too... The grass is always greener on the otherside, I suppose...

Answer 8

NO!
Don't be stupid and ruine a good marriage that you have, it's not worth it!
If you honestly loved your wife you wouldn't want another woman, your wife would be the only one that you want..
If your even thinking about cheating i suggest you save your wife te heartbreak and leave her because this is not at all fair to her and your going to break her heart.
Maybe try talking to her about how you feel and see how she reacts or go see a marriage councelor but please do not cheat on your wife, she is the mother of your children for christ sakes, she does not deserve this

Answer 9

I like a good home-cooked meal myself. It is good to be in love with a married woman as long as the woman is your wife. Having 2 women to love is hard work and exhausting.

Answer 10

My mother once told me to never leave the one you love for the one you like, b/c the one you like will surely leave you for the one they love. Don't let the bird go in your hand for the two birds in the bush, b/c there is no guarantee that the two birds in the bush will be there after you let the on in your hand go... don't do it, you're lusting for something that is a sin to commit, it's not worth it... Hope you make the right decision...