I have been having a lot of trouble with bulimia I will eat a lot and then throw it all up. Its really time consuming and painful and its getting in the way because I feel a lot of shame. I couldnt call him for a while yesterday and of course he was concerned about me because I usually call right when I get off work. I felt terrible because I coldnt come up with a reason for why I left him in the dark. The last thing I want is for this problem to hurt him any more than it probably already has. Any advice please! Should I tell him about my bulimia (I feel in my heart it will help me quit the destructive cycle. How will he react? Will he be grossed out and not want to be with me anymore?
2007-06-25 05:51:05 · 20 answers · asked by You are what you Believe 3 in Health ➔ Women's Health
If he is grossed out, then he doesn't care enough about you to be worth your time!
Someone who cares will give you support in ending this dangerous disease, not turn their back on you!
Most importantly, you need to tell your doctor, friends and family. Don't let shame get in the way of those who care about you being allowed to help support you! This is the time when you need that support the most! (Not to mention a watchful eye for if you relapse back onto this deadly path)
The BEST thing you can do, is to let others know. There is no shame in admitting that you need help; only shame in hiding it, or ignoring it.
2007-06-25 06:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by redsquirrelpooka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are probably a lot of people around you who suspect that you may have a problem (without necessarily guessing what it is). A lot of them will be really happy to find out what it is, and to help you cope better if they can.
A boyfriend is even more of a source of strength and support than other people. The thought of you going to the toilet, or having a period, is probably enough to gross him out. He's probably aware that those things happen, though.
Yes, knowing about the problem will gross him out (it's gross!), and freak him out (more to cope with!). BUT it will also give him another reason to be supportive. If he actually wants to be your boyfriend, then he IS looking for ways to support you. Sharing this problem with him will let him know that you value his support. And probably explain a few things that have seemed a bit odd lately, but he hasn't wanted to mention.
Eating disorders are talked about a lot more than they used to be. They are still regarded as a bit freaky. So his first reaction to finding out will probably be embarassment over saying something horrible about an anorexic celebrity not long ago! (maybe he never does this; so are you sure he's in the dark about you?)
If he leaves because you tell him, it's an excuse. He wouldn't do that unless he's already wanting to. Either you'll be better off without him, or you'll be better off with him knowing.
2007-06-25 13:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by Fitology 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes tell him. I assume his only reaction will be concern and try to help you in any way possible. It sounds like you trust him enough that you can actually open up to him.
The point is you need some kind of help, and maybe this is the friend that can help you. Just asking the question means you want help, and it seems he is the one you want to help you.
Regardless of how he reacts, which I think will be positive, you needed to tell somebody. Im happy you are being brave, sometimes you have to jump into the deep end of the pool. The good point is, that you know you need help. He will too. Just get the help you need to be healthy. It truly is a disease and you shouldnt be ashamed of it, just get help for it.
I say call him NOW. Scary as that sounds at least its out there and a weight will be gone, and then you move on.
Good Luck
2007-06-25 12:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by financing_loans 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His reaction is dependent on the kind of person he is, and how close you two are. I definetely recommend telling him because for one, he can help you stop this habit which is really hurting you emotionally and physically. Overcoming this obstacle together will be an accomplishment. Tell him the reasons why you didn't tell him-- it's HARD, and you didn't want to hurt him. He will probably feel sad when you tell him-- sad that you feel "fat" or unattractive. I am sure he wants you to feel beautiful so he'll be sad that you turned to that. I can't say how else he would feel because I don't know him. But definetely tell him, the longer you delay it the worse you'll feel inside. Just be HONEST about everything. You'll get through it!
2007-06-25 12:56:53 · answer #4 · answered by xo_j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really cared about you then he wouldn't be grossed out at all
I reckon u should tell him
It's better to tell the truth...A good relationship is one without lies (Or whatever it is that they say)
If he was a guy who really cared for you he would support you in this
You should get help...And get better =]
It might be hard...But at the end...It's worth it
But then again...I haven't had bulimia myself so i guess i dnt really know what your going through
Hope it all goes well
2007-06-25 12:59:43 · answer #5 · answered by <3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't think that he will want to stop being with you. If anything I think that he will appreciate the fact that you feel comfortable enough to talk to him, other wise if you keep hiding it from him he will start to make things out of it that will hurt you and him worse. I think you should tell him because he will probably offer to help you in some way....good luck..
2007-06-25 12:56:35 · answer #6 · answered by 32characters 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry, I'm sure if he loves you he will help you get through it and help you get help so that you can get over this disease. He might be a little mad that you didn't tell him earlier, but it happens, what can you do. My best advice is to tell him face to face, not over the phone, and tell him really soon. Just so things dont' get out of control.
good luck.
I hope everything works out well!
2007-06-25 12:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your boyfriend and don't stop there, tell everyone you know! It will be difficult, but if you want the help you say you do, you'll get it and it will be worth it! Besides, you need all of the support that you can get right now. I hope all works out well.
Good luck.
2007-06-25 12:57:14 · answer #8 · answered by Angela M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should talk to him and let him know what is going on, but you need to seek help from someone else. Try going to counseling or talking to your doctor. Your boyfriend can be there for support, but I am afraid he is not the answer to stopping this problem.
2007-06-25 13:03:31 · answer #9 · answered by lmphslaw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about going to get some help for yourself. You need to speak to someone about your problem and not do what you are doing. If your bf really cares about you he will understand and support you through a recovery process.
2007-06-25 12:54:46 · answer #10 · answered by shorty19775 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋