I met this guy on a plane about a month and a half ago and we had sort of an instant connection. We’ve been emailing each other and he came to my town this weekend to stay for a week for work. I was excited till he said he’s married and explained that he didn’t tell me coz he wanted to hang on to me and didn’t want to let go…..also apologized for being selfish. Please understand that i know the games married men play as am an adult but we have something so much more than sexual...I have told him I don’t want to see him and he understood but we have such a connection and I want to keep his as a friend maybe after some time. Is this wise?
2007-06-25 05:35:29 · 25 answers · asked by Boo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, its not wise, he has already used you and if he in keeping him as a friend you are just letting him remain in your life so he can have you around on the backburner when things dont go right with his wife and when he is in town again, you may think you have something more than sexual with him but if he really thought the same way then he would have been honest with you about his marital status from the very beginning, if you keep him in your life then you will be opening yourself up for him to play games with you and string you along...
2007-06-26 09:48:32 · answer #1 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a married woman whose two husbands cheated on her, so let me give a word of advice that may startle you and upset you but is the bottom line.
You are not the first person he had this "CONNECTION" to -apparently somewhere along the line he married one of those so-called "CONNECTIONS" she's called a WIFE.
Also know that love is a "GAME" with many players. Those who "PLAY" are not worth joining the game with. Because you may not see it now but one day someone will come along and you may give your heart, mind, body, and soul, to this person, but when THEY choose to "PLAY" with someone else ....YOU WON'T be HAPPY. AND THEN you can remember your little "CONNECTION" and think about how it felt for the "OTHER PERSON".
HE can tell you they aren't getting along, he doesn't love her, he's filing for a divorce, she's a lesbian, she dates her mother or father, IT STILL MAKES HIM A CHEAT !!!!
If you have this "CONNECTION" now, and you want to keep him as a friend...remember that the more time you spend with him the more likely you are to be in a web of deceit later on.
It was Disrespect for him to even involve you in this mess.
No one can tell you what to do...you have a mind of your own...it is my hope that you will use it to the best of your ability.
You are young and you have so much ahead of you. EVERY descision you make NOW will impact the rest of your life.
There is not a day that goes by that I do Not think of some mistake I made in my past, and wish that I could turn back the hands of time...because there are so many things I would have done differently.
Let this "CONNECTION" delima be a learning tool that you use to make sound descions in your future.
Good luck Sweety, whatever you choose to do.
2007-06-25 06:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by nobodyspecial 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope because if he wanted that friendship connection he would have told you he was married at the beginning and let you decide for yourself what you wanted to do with all the information that was available for you. Most married men use the language against a woman. He will try to turn friendship into the same sex he wanted in the first place. Do without
2007-06-25 05:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by dave n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't see why you would want to get involved in a situation which will go nowhere. After reading the story of Bobby Cutts and that other guy who drowned his wife and unborn baby in California about three years aback, i am just wary of relationships like these. You are a pretty girl and can get any man you want. You ask how do I know, but I just get the vibes. Back out now, before it is too late.
2007-06-25 05:40:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anthony F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Staying friends would only mean looking for something to happen, eventually, if there is "a connection". Specially if he did not bother telling you he is married, which is almost a betrayal to his wife, not a good sign. I would just leave it, treasure it in your heart, and don't look back. It is not wise to feed something you know could be more, only as a friendship, you would be lying to yourself, and it will get bigger. You do not need those type of problems.
2007-06-25 05:44:29 · answer #5 · answered by Mary Laurita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wise. The friendship will ultimately turn into a sexual relationship and I'm sure you don't want to come between a husband and his wife...
Also, most married men will never leave their wives and if this one did, how could you be sure he'd never cheat on you?
Okay, that's a long way into the future, but think about it.
2007-06-25 05:42:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on whether or not you guys can keep it a strictly friends conversation. Were they just fiendly before or were you guys saying things to eachother that would make his wife suspicious? But yes in time I think that if you guys can put your feelings to the side that friendship will work. Sometimes there are circumstances, as in your case, where a romantic relationship can't happen-ever. If he is importnant to you and you think you can just be friends than go for it. As soon as you can forgive him for not telling you about his wife. Good Luck!
2007-06-25 05:45:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that if you didn't do anything sexual with him then you made the right decision...and hes married, and he lied! right off the bat...im sure you could find a single man who you can share a connection with like that as well...and the only reason i say that is because if i were his wife i defiantly wouldn't want my man talking to some other female like that cause he did say he wanted you and didn't want to let you go,hes married its just Carma what goes around comes around and you could be put in his wife's position! good luck...if its not sexual then you could find a female to talk too or anyone then.
2007-06-25 05:48:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple he is married man picking up on another woman. Connection or not how could you trust someone like this. Stay away and run before you get involved with a untrusting man.
2007-06-25 05:41:04 · answer #9 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he became into crying fake tears the whole time. he's carefully no longer serious appropriate to the dating and he's dropping your emotions on him. do no longer provide your coronary heart away to an insecure, chilly-hearted individual like that. He looks like he's basically toying with you. He looks like he basically desires to understand how a procedures he can pass into breaking you down till you ultimately say you have had sufficient. i do no longer think of he's the main suitable one for you, sweetie. there are an excellent sort of worthier adult males accessible so you might compliment, yet heavily no longer this one you're conversing approximately. over the years, you will overlook approximately him. do no longer difficulty. you're able to be able to love him regardless of the shown fact that it does no longer mean which you will no longer positioned that love onto somebody else greater worth. maximum suitable of success.
2017-01-01 04:14:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋