OMG i have been listening to my friend talk about her problems with her husband and 10 y/o stepdaughter for 10 months now!!! I am so sick of hearing about a problem that she obviously is not going to do anything about one minute she is pouring her heart about it, the next she sugar coats it and everything is "perfect" everyday its different I just do not want to listen to it anymore it is so draining. I am really a nice person and dont want to be mean b/c she justs talks to me but I dont have any drama like that in my life and I am tired of listening to hers. I already started ignoring her phone calls but what else can I do w/o hurting her feelings, I know she is going through a lot but wtf am I suppose to do she chooses to stay with the asshole. I just want my distance from hearing about that situation and everytime we talk on the phone and go somewhere w/o hearing about her loser husband crazy stepdaughter.
2007-06-25 05:30:06 · 9 answers · asked by *sexy mocha* 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Try this:
Talking about this with ME is not going to fix the problem. You need to talk about it with HIM.
That way you are making it look like you are helping her instead of just saying shut up. It also happens to be true and good advice.
2007-06-25 05:34:29 · answer #1 · answered by Queen of Cards 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friendship is supposed to be mutual. What do you get from this relationship?
If you could just listen to her without getting emotionally involved, realizing she apparently just wants to vent, then you could give her whatever time you care to devote to that (and that's a personal choice, whether it's fifteen minutes a day or fifteen minutes a month), then at the next break (she's got to breathe) say "that must be tough" and go on to something else.. "Oh, hey, before I forget, I need to talk to you about Saturday night - what are you bringing to the potluck?", then you might be able to keep your sanity.
If, however, this is strictly one-way, with you listening endlessly while she isn't there for you, then you have to ask yourself how much of a friendship this is.
You should only give what you have to give. If you can listen for a while without going nuts, and choose to do that, then cool - just remember she isn't, is appears, looking to fix the problem, she just wants a sympathetic ear to listen.
If, however, you're thinking about changing your phone number and every time it rings you cringe, then you're in over your head and it's okay to cut it short, either by screening your calls, or by playing "oops, I didn't realize it was (whatever time it is). I have to go!"
A conversation isn't a train that has to go on tracks from point A to point B. If you've had enough of the same old story, then you can change the topic.
Understand that you might not get out of this without explaining yourself, unless you just become unavailable. If you do, then try to do it kindly. "I understand that you've chosen to stay in this situation, but I'm your friend and hearing about it distresses me because I hate to think of you living that way. I respect your choice to stay, but I think we'd better talk about other things."
If she's just using you as the audience for her drama, she won't want to change - in which case, it's time to get out and meet some new people and let her look for a new audience. If she's a true friend, she'll respect you for respecting her, and caring, and you can move on to other things.
2007-06-25 05:47:58 · answer #2 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that the only way she'll feel better about anything is to start being positive about things. If you speak of nicer things it puts you and the people you talk to in a better mood. Think of a nice way of saying she is bringing you down - or tell her just that. Maybe she needs to confide in someone that has that in common with her, the two of you should be focusing on what you have in common w/ each other. If she can't get over the drama then stop hanging out w/ her.
2007-06-25 07:59:27 · answer #3 · answered by missy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tutor him Ecc. 9: 5, 6, 10, eleven. additionally Rev 21:a million-4. Romans 6:23 says that loss of existence will pay for somebody's sins. it rather is then as much as God to whether that individual would be resurrected to paradise or not. Hell isn't a literal place of torment. The verses that communicate approximately it as a place of torment are symbolic. Hell is the grave. Revelation 20:14 states that loss of existence and hades would be hurled into the "lake of fireplace" after the millennium. If Hades is the "lake of fireplace" how would desire to or not that's thrown into the lake of fireplace? additionally, how can loss of existence be hurled everywhere? it is symbolic of finished destruction. loss of existence and the grave, or hades, would be destroyed and no person will die anymore. Psalm 37: 29. Matthew 5:5.
2016-11-07 10:10:21 · answer #4 · answered by beharry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh man.. i have a friend JUST LIKE THIS!! and ya know waht?? you tell her to 1) go see a therapist to help her, b/c u need to be able to have a friendship... she cant just complain to you the whole time.. it gets boring and ya know what happened with me and my friend?? i started ignoring her calls.. i started to not talk to her as much and she realized it was bc whenever we talked it was always about her.. and she never cared to hear what i had to say... so its somethin that has to be done., u need to live your life.. talk to her when YOU have the time.. tell her you cant talk long... its the only thing you can do to keep your sanity.. and you will still be the nice person you are.. good luck.,..
2007-06-25 05:37:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that she won't have all that drama if she tries to fix it herself. You won't be able to help her, it's not your responsibility. If she tries to face it herself, her problems will vanish. You can also tell her that you have feelings too. Tell her that you appreciate her efforts in what she's going through, but you keep hearing the same thing over and over and you want her to do something about it. If this continues, tell her you won't talk to her anymore if she won't face her problem.
2007-06-25 05:40:34 · answer #6 · answered by Ruchi D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she keeps complaining then tell her that shes speaking of this problem over and over but shes not doing anything about it, tell her its no use yelling it out if shes just going to sit there and blurt it out as if shes letting out steam.
2007-06-25 05:35:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's truly your friend you should be able to be honest with her.
2007-06-25 05:34:06 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her this
2007-06-25 05:32:26 · answer #9 · answered by tiaburkeangry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋