i dont want to beg him anymore, how can i stop this anxiety?

Question

i found my husband cheated and now took off with her n spend the wknd 2gether in our place where we just to spend our summers. why is it that i dont get angry so i could get the streght 2 say ENOUGH! Instead i get hurt n want to go n look 4 him to beg him 2 once again try 2 make things work.....we have been seperated for almonst 6mon but he is been on/off we me, i know i have allowed its my fault but im so afraid of loosing him, i dont want 2 loose him n i have settle 4 so little. Why can i move on? why do i stll have hope hell come back why can i not let it go? i love him so much he is my one only never been with no 1 else, but i know that this isnt what i want 4 the rest of my life n our 2 girls. i feel so desperate to leave work n just stand outside his house 2 see when he gets there, 2 see what face he has on, 2 see if he is really happy with her 2 see what is it that she has that i didnt? why do is it hurt so much why can i move on.....he did!!

anyone could recomend any good books/meetings/chat rooms on how to improve your self-steem?

Answer 1

It's not love You're obsessed with this man no one in their right mind would put them self through this or let their daughters see a man put their mother through this... Seek professional help..

Answer 2

It is really hard. You need not t pay attention to what he is doing. You will give yourself more problems then just anxiety, you will have panic attacks and get mild depression if you keep up this type of thinking.

You might want to try this. He might be having a great old time having this woman and you wanting him back. People like the attention and the drama. You might want to consider ignoring him for a while and not talk to him as much unless it is related to the children. He will eventually wonder why you havent had concern or beg for him lately. He will then be wondering if you have given up. He might rethink what he is doing.

Then you have to decide, do you really want a man back that tried to dump the whole marriage for sex and a fling with some other woman and could care less about his children and you. You may want to consider that being alone and raising your children may be the solution. You might even want to find happiness in a life without him. You know you can recover and find someone else, in time.

Answer 3

Your problem is that you HAVEN'T been with anyone else. If you have, you would have known that there's always more fish in the sea, and he's not, and cannot be, "the only one". There ARE guys out there who are loving, respectful, and will never treat you like this. Trust me. It seems that he's "all you want" - but this is because you've never experienced anything else. Once you find a person who treats you well, you will look back in disbelief, and won't be able to understand how you could allow anyone to do to you what your "husband" is now doing. Make a clean break; get your friends and family to help - people will be happy to reach out and help you, to get you out of a bad situation.

Answer 4

I'm sorry I'll have to say this to you but you're an obsessive-compulsive maniac. you have to stop losing your and your girls life this way. the first thing you have to do is to ignore him every time he looks at you or want to talk to you, the 2nd is get a new friend (boy, who your ex don't know) and go out with him, even if you don't like this guy is just for him to notice your doing ok. men think that us women had to depend on them all the time and you are making this look real, but for the normal people this does not work like this. my best opinion to you is to do some activities with your 2 little girls, go out and meet other people. you did not born with this jerk, that mean you had a great life until you met him. so go get that great life again. change you look, do new stuff but don't forget you have 2 little ones.

Answer 5

You're very dependant, you need to change that about yourself. He's treating you like dirt and you're letting him. Have more respect for yourself and leave him. Find someone who will treat you good you don't deserve that treatment. Also, think about your children and how they think a relationship should be when they grow up. They are watching and listening, much more attentively than you think. Leave him, work on being more independant, and separate from him completely emotionally and physcially. Never stop him from seeing his children though. They mean as much to him as they do you, but you're not going to make their lives any better by continuing like this.

Answer 6

Okay you are feeling exactly what your suppose to be feeling!!!!! Your marriage is ending and no one gets married to get divorced, the truth is he is not thinking about you because he has someone else to fill that void, but my mother use to say this and it is very true the same woman he is running to he will be one day be running from!! Second have you ever heard the saying out of sight out of mind! If your like me its hard for you too deal with someone else with your husband, no matter what these post might say this man is your husband and he is the father of your childeren! You have to understand that you are allowed to feel like crap, you are allowed to cry you are allowed to want to know why, you just want to know what you did wrong, and if it can be fixed! The truth is if he is not willing to fix it then you need to think of it as you did all that you can do, and you need to ask a higher power for strength to make it through!!! Next you might want to consider relocating, sometimes a change of atomsphere could be just what the doctor order! That way you won't be able to come by his house or drive by his job! All your doing is giving him fuel to tell the new woman he is with " you see she is crazy" and all that going to do is make the next woman try that much more to keep him with her, cuz after all she wants what you had! I know its going to be hard for you to let go , but in the end you'll be better for it! When he sees you make sure you look happy (fix your hair, put your make up on , look decient don't look defeated, because your better than that) even if after he leaves you cry like a baby! Your not giving him the satisfation of seeing you hurt anymore! The best way to get someone back is to do good, and make them wonder what life would have been like if he still had you! In the bible it says A Man that findth a wife findth a good thing you were his good thing he will be punished for what he has done to your family! Remember you are honorable in god eyesight not him! You will be lifted up not him! He will regret his decision to move on from you and his kids! Focus on you and the childeren and take it minute by minute and then hour by hour and then day by day , this too shall pass!

Answer 7

OMG..
Ladies males are not worth all the heartache we allow. Love yourself much more because a man will never love you like you.
Know your 'Self-Worth' and keep it movin' if it's poison to you.
If not for you, for your girls. Show them how mommie handles business. You don't want them growing up thinking it's ok that men treat them wrong, since daddy did it to mommie. Sure your going to cry, let out all that pain so the goodness can take root.
Just don't give that waste of skin anymore power.....please.
Bless you and your girls.

Answer 8

I know its a hard situation to be in, since you aren't the one who initiated the separation - it was not your decision, therefore its harder for you to deal with it than it is for him. He has found another woman - which also makes it easier for him to move on. I say you talk with your girlfriends, have some fun, go on outings, maybe enroll in therapy... and do whatever YOU have to do for YOU! Don't focus on him and what he's doing. Tell him "enough" and eventually you will move on. Time heals all. Just have faith! There are tons of people in this world going through the exact same thing that you are. You are not alone.

Answer 9

I really feel for you, and it's easy to say get over him. The only thing I can say is that you should join a support group for divorcees...You need to get your mind off of him, join a health club...if you live near me I'll babysit so you can get out and enjoy an evening out...Start a business, go back to school...you have to do something to get your mind off of him and how happy he may/may not be. If he knows your always available he will continue to do this to you.
PS I liv ein Wisconsin

Answer 10

Well if you don't have any self-respect, why should anybody else respect you, including your husband? You are showing him how to treat you by example, because you don't respect yourself.
You're essentially telling him to go ahead and use you and abuse you and treat you like dirt because you keep coming back for more.
Did I make you feel bad by what I wrote?
I hope so...maybe that will lead to you rethinking how you treat yourself and what you will put up with in how others treat you.
Read up on self-respect.
Then you can raise up that "settle for so little" self-destructive behavior you have going on to "never settle, ever".

Answer 11

You sound depressed. See a psychiatrist and notice approximately increasing your drugs. additionally, you may desire to probably use some scientific care...i be attentive to that which would be perplexing/awkward on the grounds which you're male, yet you certainly might desire to do it, for the two you and your mom. i be attentive to that this sounds like the tip and there is not something after this...yet undergo in techniques, there is. there is existence after this... in case you artwork troublesome, do not critique your self too a lot, and end your thesis, you may desire to do in spite of you wanna be. yet once you hold attempting for perfection thesis-sensible, which you would be able to not get and you be attentive to it, and save putting it off and killing your self interior, properly...it does not fairly seem too stable. And in case you attempt and commit suicide, danger is you will fail (statistically, purely a million in 5 be powerful), and then what? Be in a chair. Be mentally disturbed. Lose a limb. Sound exciting? merely undergo in techniques that there is extra obtainable than merely college...it is not it for you. Make a itemizing of the excuses you pick to stay or be powerful, the excuses why you hold going. save it on your pocket and examine it whenever you experience down on your self. you will get via this, guy. carry close in there. this is gonna be ok. you're could make it via. you're good, you're courageous, and you're desirable. you're properly worth a lot. do not permit your self or all of us else permit you be attentive to you're actually not. in case you may desire to communicate you could e mail me.