i think my friend has been abused or raped?

Question

Normally my friend is happy but just lately shes been acting different, now shes really quiet and doesnt say hardly anything. Shes also got briuses on her arms and shes failing all her exams which she normally does well in. I tried asking her if anything was going on but she just changed the subject. i think shes getting abused or raped. what can i do to help her? we are both 14. Emily Rose MacKenzie x

Answer 1

talk to her, make her feel you're there for her to listen, that her changes are scaring you, that you're so worried. make her feel that she is not alone in this world. that you're there to listen,guide and protect. that's what friends are for...

Answer 2

Dont push the subject or go to her father since if she is being abused than he the numner one suspect. Dont try and make her tell you. Try telling her that she has been acting different and you know something is up and that you will always be there for her is she needs a shoulder to lean on. Tell her if something bad is going on at home you want to help and she doesnt deserve to be hurt. Then give her a big hug!

Ive went thru this same thing and at first I didnt want to tell anyone anything but then someone who came up to me(a trusted teacher) and told me he knew what I was going thru and that if I needed to talk he was there. That made all the difference and when he gave me a big hug thats when I lost it and spilled everything.

Let her know that youll bet there and anything she tells you is between just the two of you. Show her the world is not against her and your on her side.

Answer 3

If she won't talk to you then maybe it's time to go to her parents. If you believe the abuse may be coming from one of them then you should go to your parents and get them involved. It you're uncomfortable going to your parents then talk to a teacher or and adult that you trust and think could help you with this. Don't just sit back and let her keep changing the subject. Act now...you might even save her life. She will probably be upset with you for a while but eventually she will thank you.

Answer 4

I think you may be right. I don't think going to her parents would be a good idea, because you never know it might even be someone in the family who is doing this to her. As her friend, it is up to you to keep trying to gently persuade her to tell you what is wrong. It might take a while, and she might react badly at first, but be patient and tell her that you want to help her. If she is being raped or abused, then you must go with her to her family doctor. He will know what to do. She will need to be checked out at least. I think he will need to advise social services because of her age but please don't give up on her. She needs a friend like you.

Answer 5

Tell her again that you don't want to be nosey but you're concerned for her health.
If you are really her friend, the tough love thing to do is let someone know. Talk to a school councilor or someone one you trust.

"Until the violence stops, the hotline will continue to answer…One Call at a Time. Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states.... ...If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224." *

Answer 6

If you think she is being abused, you should inform your parents or an adult at school and let them handle the situation. They will be able to call the proper authorities and investigate. If it does turn out that she is being abused or raped at home, then you will have done something to help your friend, and she will know that you cared about her enough to do this.

Answer 7

You are a great friend, thank you being concerned for your friend. You should tell an adult you trust, like a teacher or guidance counselor, they'll know what to do.

Or offer her to stay at your house (like a sleepover) but don't mention anything that might scare her away, maybe then she'll feel safer open up to you.

Answer 8

This is extremely serious..u need to tell her that u r her friend and that watever it is that is bothering her, that she can talk to you and not to be ashamed.Dont you have any adult like a teacher, parent, that can actually talk to her. If this gets even more serious, alert someone at school. I will suggest you do it now actually. U will be doing her something good. I do hope it will get better for her.
Try this link below, maybe they can help you more.

Answer 9

You should try and speak to her in private and in confidence. Let her know you are there for her and you understand and that you won't judge her whatever the truth is and that she has your support and you won't tell anyone else.
Make sure she doesn't take it the wrong way.
I don't know if you have access to a psychologist at your school but if so then try to tell them at school so that they can approach her and help her. Of course, they must not tell her it was you who approached them.

Answer 10

Don't ask her what is wrong, TELL her what you see is wrong. And tell her she has to tell someone to get it stopped and that you will be with her for support.Tell her that you will actually tell some authorty if she won't. It is probably her dad or step dad that is hurting her. With her quietness, without a doubt she has been sexually abused too. She may feel that it is her fault, but you make her realize that it isn't. Tell her if she doesn't stop this, that who ever is doing this, will probably do it to her sister if she has one. She could go to the hospital, and report it, and they would take over then. You got to get through to her,,,,,,,,,,,,,you are her only help..............don't give up....

Answer 11

something is clearly wrong with your friend. try speaking to her again, tell her what she tells you is in complete confidence. do you know her parents well? they must have noticed the change in her, maybe you could speak to her mum (aslong as you don't think that it is possible that her mum could be the problem)? Speaking to your headteacher or a teacher at school about your concerns maybe a good idea so that they can have a chat with your friend.