Women: if you are married did you assume your husband's surname or keep your own?

Question

and if you are not married, would you expect to change your name when you do get married?
What are the pros and cons of taking your husband's surname?

Answer 1

I took my husband's surname, after MUCH thinking, debate and talking.
Just want to say, I'm so pleased to hear the good reasons listed by the answerers before me - they are well thought out, and glad to hear they were thinking about future children.
I have two degrees, had an established career, came from a family with a great name (as in being prominent and well-thought of), so I really had to think things through. When talking about this with my future husband, once he said if I kept my maiden name, he would take that surname too and change his name - because we were hoping to have children and there should be ONE family name, that's when I made my decision -- but it was to change my surname to his!
Now, when I do want to include my maiden name, I use parentheses - Jane (Doe) Smith. I do like, however, what more women seem to be doing now - using their maiden name as their middle name, and taking their husband's surname.
As an aside, as a teacher, it's very important to have children to have the same surname as both parents - not one or the other, or hyphenated, or a totally different name - it does in some way affect their sense of 'belonging'.
Also, changing my name didn't change who "I" was - I'm still the same independent, free spirit as always!

Answer 2

I am married and i took my hubby's surname. i think it is great that when you have children that all the names are the same and everyone shares that. The cons of having to change your name is all the paperwork and going through the hassle of getting everything changed, it is time consuming.
if you share a life and a family what is wrong with sharing the name.

Answer 3

I am married and I did take my husbands surname, because I felt it was the right thing to do. We were joining and beginning a new family when we married. And for the sake of our future children, I didn't want my children to wonder why we had different last names. I like being called "Mrs.....M". Its just one of the perks of being married that I enjoy.

Answer 4

I wholeheartedly believe that women should take their husband's name. Tradition is very good for building an everlasting, peaceful, simple but beautiful and satisfying life. You must go into marriage "all out" full of intention, to me. And taking your man's name as your own is a giant step toward that. I had the benefit of having a last name that could also be a first name, so we have given it to our new baby. Peace!

Answer 5

While I'm modern about most things, I will be taking my fiancee's last name in a few months :). He's got a great last name (I'm very proud of my own though), and it's just an honor to have it! I'm sure the paperwork and changes and all that won't be fun, but hopefully I can get through it smoothly.

Answer 6

I took my husband's surname for a couple of reasons.

1) I feel it helps "formalize" the marriage and cements us as a couple in the eyes of others
2) While I'm proud of my maiden name, I like his better
3) It helps avoid confusion
4) Our names would NOT hyphenate well!!!

I don't see it as "demeaning" or "losing myself", so I didn't have a problem doing it. I know several women who chose to keep their maiden name when they got married, and that's their personal choice.

My sister-in-law moved her maiden name to her middle name, and took my brother's surname as hers. I thought it was a cool way to keep both of them.

Answer 7

I took my husband's surname. If you're going to have children, at least everyone in the family has the same name.

Answer 8

I think the biological child of any man, one night stand or not should carry its fathers name. I also believe that something that happened before you met a person should not dictate your actions with that person. You don't want to change your name because you feel you are better than her, but in the long run, who really cares?

Answer 9

I took my husband sur name. I know women who did not because some say that is not their name and others because they had started there career already and didn't want the confusion. I am a writer and I still write under my maiden name.

Answer 10

I really thought I would keep my name or at least hyphenate, but when we were about to get married, I decided to take his name. He was very happy about it because he knew what a big deal it was to me that I would go the traditional route versus keeping at least part of my maiden name. I like being his Mrs.