what do i do?

Question

I have a huge problem, i need some help. Im 18 and I have been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs now, but i dont think im in Love any more..Ive reciently been going over to a "friends" house to talk. hes always there for me and makes me feel better..I love being around him...but i dont think i could ever see myself with him...Me and my boyfriend are always fighting every couple of days..it has been that way since the start...I want to leave him but ive been with him since i was 14 and we have 2 kids together so i cant imangine my life with out him..hes all i know.I hate putting my kids through this.Everytime i suggest that me and him take a break he always gets all pissed off and starts to cry(he fakes it) so i feel sorry for him and talk about something else.Im just to the point right now i dont care what happens as long as i have my kids.Hes always saying give him one more chance that he will change, and he does for a couple of days and hes right back to his same stuff again..Please help

Answer 1

This is a sad story, but almost predictable due to the ages involved. Your boyfriend is immature, so are you, but he is more so. The reality is that you are staying with him because of the children. He is fighting with you because he feels trapped in the relationship and blames you (whether he admits it or not). He probably loves you, but feels he's missed out on part of his life, which he has, so have you. Don't feel sorry for him, pity is the surest way to destroy a relationship. What you have to decide is this: do you really love him? If you didn't have the kids, would you still be with him? If the answer to either one or two is "no", then you should leave him now. A life built on guilt and duty is a life without joy. You are too young to have to suffer for the rest of your lives. He either has to grow up, or get out. If you find yourself drawn to other men, for whatever reason, it's a sure sign that you are not satisfied with your relationship and again, you need to move on with your life. He will never change as long as you keep letting him back. He needs to grow up and realize that you are not a punching bag and that he doesn't automatically get a pass everytime he wants to fight with you. If a relationship becomes "mean", it needs to end and end quickly.