im 35+4 pregnant +have a 14 month old already. any tips on how to cope after the baby is born?

Question

im struggling as it is trying to keep up with my son, and thats while im pregnant, im worried when the baby arrives, all hell will break loose

i AM married, but this is real life and unfortunatly he has to work and is out of the house 12 hours a day...:( he helps all he can

Answer 1

Okay I will try my best to answer your question. I know how scary it can be around this time not knowing how you are going to handle it, specially if you have a lot of afterpains or if you have a surgical birth.

When I gave birth to my third baby last December, I had a 17 month old and a 4 year old. To top if off I was still breastfeeding my 17 month old because of his severe allergies to food.

So I was scared thinking of how I was going to breastfeed two babies and all the other possibilities, not wanting anyone to feel left out.

But I want to let you know that we are all still here today and that we made it and so will you. The trick is to make housework your last priority and love on your babies as your top priority.

Im not sure if you will nurse or bottlefeed but either way, during eating time (which will be constantly with a newborn) use it as a snuggle time for the three of you.

Newborns sleep a lot as well, so when baby sleeps try to take a nap to catch up on sleep (hopefully your 14 month old will be sleepy as well).

Get a lot of activities out for your 14 month old to keep busy with when you need the one on one time with the new baby, but try to partner both of the children together with whatever you need to do.

Make sure you have a playpen or a free standing play yard for your living room, that way when your 14 month old is getting into trouble and you need to take care of the new baby you can put the older baby in the play yard. Make sure there are toys and soft interest books, as well as music/movie on for older childs enjoyment (baby einstein was my favorite, I put it on all the time).

I can give you all kinds of other advice, just email me if you need to. It is too hard to condense everything into one answer.

Congratulations and be happy, dont worry, this confusing and fun time will pass and you'll look back on it with fond memories.

PS: It really wasnt that hard, it was messy and wonderful! My husband was gone all the time as well, and I didnt have any family around to help. Everything will fall into place!

Answer 2

Hi, when my son was 2 years old I had my daughter. If you try to keep noise levels down etc for the sake of the baby...it will never work. Its surprising how a baby can slot into your life without too much commotion. Im not saying its easy but very do-able and rewarding to have children so close in age who normally go on to be quite good companions because of the small age gap. Just carry on your daily routine as you would etc and what i mean by that is try not to get too worked up that your 14 month old is banging the pots and pans and making loads of noise, and once baby is a few weeks old you'll realise that if you dont *****-foot around them from the start they adjust to a noisy household. Make sure you take advantage of any offers of help from any friends or family, especially with things like shopping trips, as they can be a bit of a chore with two little uns'. Try to get hubby to have an hour with the kids when he gets in from work so you can either pop to a mates for a quick cup of coffee, or have a nice long hot bath and relax for a bit. I wish you the best of luck, you will undoubtedly be tired but women with 2 kids under two are renowned for multi-tasking with a baby in their arms and a toddler at their feet. Before you know it you will be a pro at it. XX

Answer 3

i have a 16 yr old , 13 yr old , 6 yr old and one due in 3 weeks. its tough but you find it gets easier. get friends or relatives to help out or mind them while you go grocery shopping just so you get some time out. make sure when the kids are in bed take some time to relax dont worry too much about the chores either for the first few weeks good luck

Answer 4

You must get lots of help from your hubby. Also see if your mom will babysit once or twice a month so you can have a break. What ever you do don't let your son have his way because it will be easier then dealing with him. That only adds to the problem, dealing with the problem is always easier.

Answer 5

Keep an open mind and go with the flow. You can do it. I had 7 children and my last one came when I was 39. I made it just fine. Noe I'm 60 and raising 2 of my grandsons. Now this is really a job !!! lol. Good luck with your new baby and relax, you will be fine.

Answer 6

You will be able to do it. I was in the same boat 3 years ago, when I was pregnant with my second child. They were 14 months apart. And I was a single mom. I was hard, but something in you just kicks in and you get it done.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

No you will be a good mum and you will cope i had a 6 year old and a 4 year old both boys then had twin girls and i coped it just all clicks into place as you go you are worrying to much just enjoy. Good luck-xx

Answer 8

You may want to line up some friends or relatives to come and help you while you adjust. I would recommend purchasing a playpen as well, this way if you are busy with your newborn your oldest can play and be safe.

Answer 9

routine! easier than having a 5 yr gap for sure.

Answer 10

bloody hell you need a nanny!

is your husband around maybe he could help more if your strugglin. speak to your health vistor they are usaully really great with this sorta stuff