What kind of relationship do you have with your ex-spouse?

Question

Are you friends? Do you call each other to talk everyday? What if you have kids...do you talk more than other couples? What seems to be the normal after a divorce?

Answer 1

I don't have the type of relationship, I wanted with my ex-wife.

My thought has always been,OK we don't love each other, can't live with each other, what ever the case may be but we still have kids to raise.
So for the kid's sake let's raise them together, be united, do what's best for them. Being able to go to school functions, with or without the others spouse, or boy friend, and just be there for the kids.
Let the kids know it wasn't their fault, and we love them, and their not going to use one of us against the other.
Sounds great huh, Well he res the key you both have to work at it, not just one of you.

My wife used the kids against me, wouldn't let me see them, they would get their Xmas presents in May. I bought her a car so she would bring the kids to me, not once did she do that.
When I got them their clothes would be wet in wal mart sacks, so I bought her a dryer, this is 10 yrs. after our divorce.

But Patience prevails, and both my son's came to live with me. The youngest is now 16 yo.

Hope this helps

Answer 2

We've spent the last two years running back and forth to Court hammering out the specifics of our visitation agreement....I've come to realize that if we don't put every single detail regarding every possible scenario into writing, one of us will eventually take advantage of it.
For the first year, there was alot of chest thumping and threats, and it slowly cooled down. These days, I try to put forth the best front for my children that I can (i.e. don't say bad things about Mom and her fiancee) and I think my ex has caught on. I've also told her, in no uncertain terms, that if she can't speak like an adult to me, then I won't speak to her, period. So far, so good.
We try to accommodate each others schedules as best as we can, but we both reserve the right to retaliate if the other doesn't "play ball": you can't drop them off early this week, then I can't do it next week (or whenever you need it.) So on and so forth...
I liken it to a business relationship. It seems to be the easiest way to go about it. Funny thing, though; her new fiancee actually talks to me at great lengths...he's a decent man. I give him kudos for rising above all of our baggage, and just trying to be friendly. The kids appreciate it, and this weekend (for the first time since our divorce), both sides of the family spent some time together at a theme park. Pretty cool.

Answer 3

I divorced my hubby 20 years ago for a number of reasons...however,we have remained friends since that time. It was important that my children have a father in their lives even if he may not be physically in the house. Their upbringing was solely my guidance though some decisions were made mutually like education, discipline and friends. He is still part of our lives in that sense, but that's all he is to me. As I am on the spiritual path, it has become easier to forgive whatever he has done wrong and that's the first step to building back my life and not brood over the past mistakes both of us have made nor harp on it. Please read the beautiful passage on Marriage as it should be from " THE PROPHET" by Kahlil Gibran. All men and women should read this to have a better understanding of the bond of marriage and be happy from this union.

Answer 4

My ex husband and I made better friends apart, than when we were married. We'd talk pretty much daily, and became friends. I was happy for him when he shared he'd found someone he wanted to marry.

Yes, I think if you have children, and want what's best for your children, you will communicate more with your ex spouse...at least that's how it happened with mine.

My ex husband passed away 3 years after our divorce...so I thank the Lord, each day, for the friendship we were able to share.

Normal? I think it will be whatever you MAKE it to be. If you alienate one another through your children, then you will have problems. If you are supportive and maintain a level of respect for each other, then things will probably go more smoothly.

Answer 5

My ex was an abuser, after the divorce i moved 800 miles away, we used to talk on the phone once a month, then 3 years ago he passed away at age 38.

Answer 6

We have a good relationship. Just yesterday I took her to San Francisco to show her the route she is running for Aids marathon.

The relationship you have is up to you, If there has been abuse then that makes it more difficult or impossible. But remember at some point your ex was the most important person in your life. Most of the time you could still be friends. Also remember they have seen you naked.

Good Luck

Answer 7

well, we get alone better than we did when we were married but that doesn't say much.
We do have kids together but he is like not in their lives that much. He never was...so I really didn't expect him to be. I pay for almost everything for my kids. he pays 50 a week for both kids and doesn't plan to go much more than that. I have to get him to watch the kids during the week sometime when the babysitter is gone and he complains because he likes to drink alot and he can't drink when the kids are there. Just a real lazy person.

Answer 8

My last x we had no kids to gether and no we dont talk at all. My first we have two kids and I talk to him only when something comes up with the kids. Were not really friends but we dont act stupid either. Our kids are whats important but its been 9 years to and it wasnt always this way. There have been times we fought like we were in the WWE over the kids but he got his head on straight and now every thing is fine.

Answer 9

I try to have a civil relationship with my ex but sometimes i get so mad at him i want to do nothing but punch him in the groin. He helps me out by fixing my car when it breaks. I think he could be doing more to bond with the kids and he can be giving me more child support. I am still angry that he left me for a home wrecking btch and that my kids know her by name. I am angry that he pushes his parenting responsibilities on other people (the home wrecking btch and his parents) when its his weekend.

If he stops being such a jerk i can become friends with him. Right now its just a matter of shadow boxing. If he makes me mad i make his life miserable. If he is nice to me and fixes my car, and agrees to everything i have to say, i leave him alone.

Answer 10

My ex number 1 we've been divorced for 8 years. I visit his family, he visits mine, his children with his new wife call me auntie, his new wife and I get along wonderful.

My ex number 2 been divorced 3 years we run a company together. This one was harder but we were both willing to make it work and it does.