Desperate Housewife in Africa - what to do ?

Question

I am unhappy because I am trapped as I don't want to lose my 3 children its a very restricted country and if I left might never be able to return. Could I be happy if I left them or more miserable

Answer 1

get a divorce perhaps...

what is the desperation for?
which country in Africa?...

give some additional details, so we could give an opinion.

Answer 2

First, calm down.
Second. Try to break your problem down ino smaller parts and decide how to deal with each part seperately.
There is no detal in your question but I assume that you are married and that since you have children and are living in Africa that you are married to an African, possibly arabic.
Is the problem that you have concerned with your husband and your relationship or is it a general problem of the restrictions of the culture in which you are living. I understand that if you come from the west, marry an arab and then move to live in his country you would find it very difficult to adapt to meet his and societies expectations of how a wife should behave. If this is the case then you really have no choice if you cannot tolerate the restictions you need to get out and abandon everything to maintain your sanity.
Based on my guesses and experience the desiration in your question would suggest that something very like this is going on.
Even in enlightened and tolerant arab countries where western ways are accepted for tourists and foreign people working there the arab culture and mentality cannot accept that a wife should behave any differently than as a good muslim wife. Even if your husband was very "western" when you met the situation will change as soon as you live in his country. Pressure from his family will make it so inevitably.
My guess is that you are now trapped in a situation where you are not allowed to drive, cannot leave the house without supervision, are excluded from all of your husbands social dealings which are men only and can do nothing without permission. The only place that you should be allowed to go unconditionally is to visit your family and travel too and from your family would be supervised.
If that is the situation you will never negotiate a change to make it better. He is behaving perfectly in accordance with his customs, if he tries to behave differently he will be sanctioned by society and his family, and only you are seen as the one with unreasonable and unrealistic expectations. Unless you can happily adapt to satisfy the local cultural norms you need to get out and even that may not be easy dependant upon the particular country.
Possibly the best solution would be divorce under Islamic law which would give you custody of the children. Whether this is possible depends very much on where you are exactly.

Answer 3

Shouldn't have had 3 children and then decided that you're fed up. Take joy in your children and try to fulfill their needs...you brought them into this world and they need you more than anyone else...more than even you need yourself! Get yourself some hobbies that you can do indoors e.g. PC games, cooking,reading. Don't be bored and take it out on your children. Get yourself involved in charities and helping the poor and then you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Answer 4

Move out of Africa

Answer 5

join an Internet support group??? you kinda need to give a little more insight into you situation for a good answer, why are you in Africa? and why are you desperate?

Answer 6

If you are trapped then how can you help them unless you free yourself first? Free yourself then figure out some way to help your children, otherwise you will be trapped until your children are grown.

Answer 7

I think you should find the source of your desperation and deal with it.

Answer 8

You will be miserable if you leave your kids. Deal with it until they are older then leave.

Answer 9

what are you talking about?