my parents are divorced. my mom has severe deppression. she gets mad and yells very easily. but she seems to only get mad @@ me, not my younger sibs. Any advise??
2007-06-24 20:30:12 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
can i have ur mom phone no. she acttually need a good friend
2007-06-25 00:45:38 · answer #1 · answered by biswarup t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure what was the central reason is for the divorce of your parents.
Do not take it personally. Unfortunately she is going thru a tough time. She is probably worried/stressed out about how to pay the bills, rent, food, all the basic necessities in life for herself, you and your siblings. And that is in addition to feeling betrayed, let down, rejected, and in a world of hurt. Since you are the oldest, she probably will take it out on you, with the logic being you can sort of understand the process better. The young ones might not understand why your parents are not together any more.
I hope your mom seeks help for her depression. You too should make sure you are not dragged under by her depression by talking to friends. If you are still in high school, talk to your school counsellor. Help out around the house, to ease up on your mom's responsibilities. It never is easy being the eldest child in the family. Stay positive, keep a level head, and know that things can get better. There is always help out there. You just have to know whom to talk to.
2007-06-24 20:44:17 · answer #2 · answered by no_einstein 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom probably feels like you are the one with her, the only one who lives in her house now. She probably feels your love for her and your concern, and you are wonderful to be the daughter you are and care about her as well, but, just remind her there are others who care too, assuming she has friends, maybe co-workers, other supportive relatives etc. Staying in the house could depress her she needs to start making new memories that will make her happy and going places. Be careful she doesn't cause you to become depressed as well, maybe spend some time away from her to re-group your thoughts and feelings so that you can help her through this difficult time, and if that doesn't work ask someone for help.
2016-05-19 21:57:47 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being the oldest child can be difficult at times. It seems that our parents make all of their mistakes, and learn all of their lessons on us.
You mother is going through a bad time right now. She is probably taking it out on you, because you always tend to project your feelings on the ones closest to you. Since you are the oldest, she feels that you can handle the siutation better than your younger siblings.
Why don't you try bringing her a cup of coffee or tea, and telling her to sit and relax. Also, after the younger children have gone to bed, you might ask her to sit and talk to you. Don't get too personal, if she doesn't open up to you. Just let her express what she is feeling, and calmly tell her what you are feeling. She may not even realize how bad it is on you.
Whatever you do, don't blame yourself for the divorce or your parents problems. Believe me they have nothing to do with you personally.
2007-06-24 20:54:09 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is hard on you, but also try to understand what your mom is going through-i mean her whole life has been turned upside down and you may not know all the details that lead up to this divorce, so there is no telling what she is trying to deal with. There could be something about the timing of your birth that reminds her of something, maybe you remind her of your dad the most, maybe it is cause you are the oldest and she expects you to be more mature and understanding then what you are being(i would bet on this). But no matter what it is she still loves you and needs you right now. So just try to be there, let her know that you understand she is hurting and that you want to help-and do help her as much as possible...she is suffering more then you realize.
2007-06-24 20:42:07 · answer #5 · answered by cynical girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a hard time for a mom...try to understand her it will take time. Just tell her you love her and you are there for her. Tell her that everything is going to be alright that she needs to be there for you and your Sib's, life goes on and she has to be strong for her kids. Once in a while remind her what a good job she is doing by taking care of ya :) Maybe tell her to go for a walk to the mall or out to eat with some of her best friends. That can make her feel better...
2007-06-24 20:40:58 · answer #6 · answered by Alicia R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for a quiet and calm time. Tell your mother that you're a bit worried about her and you hate seeing her so unhappy.
Don't make personal remarks, don't get cheeky or stroppy, or defensive. You can say how you feel, though. But don't do it in an accusing way.
Your mother needs time to heal. Being divorced is the ultimate rejection, not only of your love, but of your life plans and hopes. Your mother needs to see you as a person again, not as someone who reminds her of your father or whatever her problem is.
But that doesn't mean that your life should be miserable too. She probably needs help. If she doesn't have friends to talk to, she needs a doctor or counsellors help.
2007-06-24 20:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart goes out to you. It's sad for anyone to have divorced parents and it has a devastating effect on all who didn't want it to happen. Your mother sounds like she might not have wanted the divorce and is suffering for it now. It is hard for her to see what effect it has on her children, while she is in this state of depression. Try and be brave; although she seems to pick on you. It will be hard for you i know, but you have to. Does your mother have any sisters or close friends; the reason I'm asking is, maybe you can confide in them. Explain whats happening, that your mother is yelling at you and that it really is hurting you. Where is your father??. is he aware of all this, if he isn't, then make sure he knows, after all he is partly to blame and he has to make sure his children are managing all of this. I don't know how old you are, but you do need someone to confide in. Try and talk to someone, please. my wishes are with you, take care
2007-06-24 21:26:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the saying that we hurt those whom we Love the Most is true,
she See's you as an outlet for her pain and depression and this may hurt but your allowing her to vent against you will hurt her more in the long run.
only a councelor will be able to get to the true depth of her pain and start to help her find her Joy again.
as for her venting against you and not your sibs is common and because your the older child she loves and feels you understand and can absorb more or share her pain better.
Like I said you must not allow this to continue this is a very serious and needs to be addressed soon.
2007-06-24 20:44:24 · answer #9 · answered by kiphyn b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're probably doing something that gets on her nerves. I had a set of depressed parents. Do your best to avoid them and move out as soon as you can. If that means working harder to get a scholarship at an out of state for college, do it.
After a certain age, parents are an unnecessary. Sit tight. You'll be at that age soon enough.
2007-06-24 20:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by qwertatious 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just tell her that you love her and if she needs anything do it for her.... give her a cuddle , you seem to be the oldest ... so yes she will take it out on you ... but don't worry I am sure that she loves you ....its just that she is a little lost and is hurting right now .... support her thats all you can do and after a little more time to heal she will get back to her old self
2007-06-24 20:37:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋