help any advice?

Question

i am a 37 yr old women i am in a bad time my life with the loss of my family and ending a 20 yr marriage 4 yrs ago i so hate being alone and have been dating so many men keep hurting me or wanting one thing so i did the unthinkable i fell for a married man he is 28 so much younger then men we see each other everyday and both admit we are in love i really cant ask him to leave his wife for me he does have two kids and i dont want to be the reason but i cant stop seeing him either it has been better then being alone so im not sure what to do

i do want to add my husband did this to me the same week my mom died after all the yrs together there are so many women out there that do this im not the only one and is the man is truly happy why would he cheat it has all came down to its me or her i relize that so the one that hate me im not alone in all this the others that gave great advice ty bless you

Answer 1

i see that you know how it feels to be left but the longer you keep it going the harder it will be 2 stop it...and doing what ur doing is breaking up a happy home if its found out about...and you say that isnt what you want...you will find someone you just have to keep looking...

Answer 2

Is it really being better than being alone. (And I'm not judging you) You're the one who at the end of the day, lives with yourself and looks at yourself in the mirror. The end of the marriage of your and your family. Remember there is a grieving process that you have/are going through, even after 4 years. Why not try and join a club, meet men and just become friends to start with. Be happy with yourself and love yourself first cause no one will love you unless you do. Mind you there are plenty that will use you for their own needs. You are worth way more than this. And I know you are not happy with the current situation, if you were, why would you post this? Have strength, love yourself (and forgive yourself too) go out and meet some new friends and drop the married guy. Its not fair on his wife or his kids. Hope it all works out for you

Answer 3

Sorry, to say this, but "you're a selfish individual". I understand that it takes two to tango, but with so many men out there you fell for a married man with kid. I'm pretty sure if you were to look in right place, you would find the right man. If his wife were to find out of your affair, you are partially responsible for taking a father away from these kids. You should have more respect for yourself and for marriage--stop seeing this guy. He will never leave his wife and if he does there is the possibility that later on in life he'll do it to you, if he were to find another love interest.

Answer 4

You should know that having a relationship with a married man is not good. You should not only think for yourself. There are a woman and 2 kids that are also involve in this whole situation. There are many more single men out in this world why tear up a somebody family.

Answer 5

Girlfriend You need to get some "things straight in your life"
I could be wrong but your looking for "personal satisfaction" and not at he BIG picture,

1) Why did your marriage of 20 Years end? Did you resolve your problems that arose from this or are you carrying these anchors with you every where you go.

2) Have you defined what you want in a "Second Marriage?": I bet a Man who is already married is NOT on your wish list.

It's funny your name say's "Want A Cowboy"
Cowboy's are men of strong moral character, and Integerty. "Usually". There the rugged, Honest type of man, but what today's Women want is the watered down version. the man they can control, and is Emasculated.
You probably had the ideal man in your first marriage, and through your lack of "Proper" care pissed it away. Now in your misery you want to ruin another marriage.

3) At 37 your still young enough to really make some changes, and get back on track, but it's up to you to define what is "IMPORTANT" to you. Not society, and diffinately not ME. Start by educating yourself The books I listed below is a good start. The "Woman Power" book might be what your looking for, as well as SMART Love. Both can help you Evaluate your life, and if needed help you make positive changes to get you back on track to acheiving "YOUR" goals in regards to marriage, Men, and family.

God Bless, and I hope you find peace in your life.

Answer 6

Look, if he's married it's not right. You won't find justification for that here.

Sadly, more often than not, men who cheat in marriages are doing so to fill a need. You are filling that need, but little else. He may say or do whatever it takes to keep you on the hook.

You are in an emotional vacuum, and need to take pride enough in yourself invest the time to find someone for the long haul. Don't annihilate someone else's marriage. There's no winners in that. Move on, or risk serious pain and agony.

I'll bet you can do better. You have it in you.

Answer 7

Put yourself in the wifes shoes. She is at home taking care of their children and you are f***ing her husband. He is acting like a dog spending time with you and not his family. If you want him to do the same thing to you that he is doing to his wife, keep on. You are only fooling yourself and hurting the children, so you really don't care about him either. If you did you would care for his children too. Both of you are acting very selfish. It will only bite you in the butt in the long run.

Answer 8

"...i really cant ask him to leave his wife for me he does have two kids and i dont want to be the reason but i cant stop seeing him either it has been better then being alone so im not sure what to do."

Of course you know what to do, you just don't want to do it.

As much sympathy that I feel for you and your loneliness, you current course of action is selfish and wrong...and you know it.

This relationship has D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R written all over it. Do the decent thing and end it - NOW.

Oh, and by the way, stay away from cowboys.

Answer 9

Dating a married man is never a good thing. If he cheated on his wife and leaves her for you what stops him from cheating on you. Once a cheater always a cheater.

Answer 10

How would you feel if that were your husband? Quit making excuses for your relationship. It is wrong, and you know it. Do something about it, or you will eventually suffer the consequences. They always get caught, and you won't be the one he chooses, because his kids will come first.