My wife and I decided to try out the swinging lifestyle. We both were curious. We tried it a couple times. Turns out I really like it and she really hates it. Can't really find a way to comprise....What should we do?
2007-06-24 18:32:57 · 16 answers · asked by Big Easy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Easier said then done, but just give it up! Yeah its fun and it helps rebuilds that ego of being wanted by other women. Not to mention you and your wifes sex life has probaly gotten alot better since you started.. The lifestyle holds many benifits, but none of those are worth losing your marriage over. Best advise I can give you is to sit down and open your eyes all in all you will realize it is only greed to be wanted by the opposite sex that drives you to want to continue to have intercourse with other women. I would recomend maybe you and the lil lady get into role playing ie. Go to a bar seperately and run into one another as if you dont know each other, talk over drinks and then go and rent a room and let the both your imaginations run wild.. Try some different things like that or just acting out your fantasies. Best of luck and remember the lifestyle requires 50-50 decision from both spouses, keep that in mind and everything will work out for the best.
2007-06-24 20:41:20 · answer #1 · answered by Brian T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Swinging will never work if both parties are not into it 100%. So you have a choice to make love and respect your wife or leave her and find someone who is a swinger, but that will probably end up in failure too. There is no way to talk your wife into this and if you try you are heading for trouble.
2007-06-24 19:02:37 · answer #2 · answered by K K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no compromise here. You either choose your wife and continue to honor your marriage vows despite your interest in the lifestyle, or you call your marriage quits and then are free to do what you want. If the former, then you may need some outside help from a counsellor or mental health worker to find out why your interest in the lifestyle is so strong (to the point of possibly endangering your marriage), and how you can go about controlling it.
2007-06-24 18:52:59 · answer #3 · answered by Dick Jones 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not something you can compromise on. There is no middle ground. You either participate in that lifestyle or you don't. You should have discussed this possibility beforehand. I know most swingers say if one ever wants out the other has to respect that. Unfortunately for you, you are going to have to respect your wife's wishes. You don't want to force her to do anything that she is not comfortable with. Just feel good knowing that she tested the waters and she still decided you were enough.
2007-06-24 18:40:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffany L 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how important swinging is to you. Was it the excitement of being with someone new? or something taboo? You can try introducing some fun things into your marriage that would make it more exciting for you, but without swinging. If you're committed to your marriage, you can make additions to your sex life that will keep you interested and keep your wife comfortable.
2007-06-24 18:51:40 · answer #5 · answered by CaliMama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow. i cant imagine the 2 of you after pronouncing husband and wife at the church and after making the sacred oath to God, could actually ask: " We tried it a couple times. Turns out I really like it and she really hates it. Can't really find a way to comprise....What should we do?"
2007-06-24 18:47:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you love your wife... you will respect her wishes. If you'd rather continue being a swinger.. sounds to me like you are selfish! If she says no, then NO!
If you do love her though.. it may be time for marriage counseling! That is why neither of you should have been stupid enough to bring another person into your sex life.
Now you are both stuck with the consequences!! Good luck!
2007-06-24 18:41:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
well arnt u the lucky one.... u get to have a try at something ur both interested in .... turns out one of u dont like it.... be happy u got to try it .. maybe u mite b able to go with her to a swingers party and not so much on the partisapating side of it...good luck with ur quest..
2007-06-24 18:51:31 · answer #8 · answered by n h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Simple: you don't swing.
Marriage is full of compromises and sacrifices. Here's a situation that cannot be resolved with compromise, but rather sacrifice.
You can live without swinging, but your marriage can't.
2007-06-24 18:41:21 · answer #9 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
what do u want more u pick the swinging u loose ur girl u dont pick the swinger u keep her ur choice.
2007-06-24 18:38:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋