How do I get my husband to understand stuff that makes me very angry?

Question

For example I get sooo mad when he bites my nose or face and he just thinks it is funny to make me mad. He doesn't seem to understand that it hurts. Then on top of it he says he has no conscious. So I can't guilt him into stopping, in fact he turns it all around on me and plays his guilty games. I don't play guilt games with him, but I'm sure with a normal person it would be guilt of hurting someone that would make them stop. One day he brought me divorce papers and told me that if I was so unhappy that I could divorce him and have everything. I don't want a divorce I just want him to stop. How do I get him to stop when he doesn't have a conscious and just doesn't get it.

Answer 1

He should stop when you tell him to. If he isn't that is abuse.

Seriously, this sounds like the start of an abusive relationship, so be wary. Get counseling, or get out of there.

Answer 2

Bites your nose??? A part of me wants to tell you to not be intimate with him and to keep your nose as far away from his mouth as possible, but I don't want to say anything that would be like ***k blocking for you...The other part of me wants to tell you to slap the s**t (and I don't mean snot) out of him the next time he does it, but then I don't want you to create a violent atmosphere because it sounds like if he's crazy enough to be biting your nose, that he may not have a problem slapping you back or getting (more) physically violent with you. The thing about him giving you the divorce papers sounds terrible. It's like he's trying to tempt you to fill them out! He sounds very manipulative and controlling. I hate to say it, but you should call his f***in' bluff and sit there in and start filling those papers out since he brought them to you. I bet he'd find a conscience from somewhere QUICK!!!
It really seems like he's trying to test you to see just how far he will be allowed to go...biting your nose, offering you a divorce...Don't allow yourself to be manipulated by him. If he has no regard for your feelings and thinks he can get by on that "I don't have a conscience" bullsh** (Is he SERIOUS???), then you need to let him know that that is not acceptable from someone who is supposed to love you.

Answer 3

Communication is key in a marriage. Both partners need a clear understanding of each others' needs. Your husband obviously does these annoying acts because he thinks it is "fun" but does not fully realize how hurtful it may be. Ignore his annoying and mean activities but allow him to see that is causes pain. For example, when bites your nose, don't say anything, but get ointment to put on it while he is watching. He may finally realize how it hurts when he sees it is really causing you physical pain.

Answer 4

It sounds like a lost cause almost. Communication is all I can you. Catch him off guard and sit him down. Tell him what is bothering you and make it clear and stern. But if he is already bringing you divorce papers, it sounds like he just doesn't care. Do you really want that kind of a relationship? Seems like you have alot to think about. I hope I helped at least a little bit.

Answer 5

One thing is very clear he loves you a lot.
It may be true that his expressions are not as per your choice.

You can do any of the followings -
1. You also start biting him or do those thing what hr does to irritate you.

2. For love people can die, so if you want you can bear this pain.

3. Divorce him, find a new husband who does not bite and does not love either.

Decision is yours.

Answer 6

Wow, I would like to know if he is like this to just you, or to everyone. And if just you, then does he only do it only when no one is around? I don't know, it sounds to me like he is WAY to comportable with you, and has created some sort of wierd outlet for his subconcious because he feels as though he can act this way, when he has to be normal around other people. I think he could definately use some therapy, but that is a given. As far as for you, maybe try to understand where he is coming from, because I bet it's somewhat of a cry for help.
This may not make much sense without knowing whether or not he is like this to everyone or just you, but without any more info, I would just state the obvious: either he's an a $ $, or he needs some help.

Answer 7

A person without a conscience (the inability to discern right from wrong) would be a sociopath, wouldn't they? And why exactly would you want to be with a sociopath? Ask him if he still has the divorce papers, sign them, and get the hell out of there before the "face biting" turns to something nastier.

Answer 8

I may be wrong about this but,.. he gets it!.. Seems to me this guy wants you to leave him. He continues to to do things that hurt you, says he has no conscious, brings you divorce papers, even says you can have everything. This guy has done everything except tell you he wants out. I'm sorry, I hope I am wrong......

Answer 9

Hope you kept those divorce papers cause this is a case of abuse both physical and just as damaging emotionally. Get out hun before it gets worse this guy who's acting like a child is going to never get it so get gone.

Answer 10

OMG! Divorce papers. I just think you should sit down with him and say "hey I really dont like it when you do these things, and really wish you would stop." Tell him to find a new way to "flirt" with you.... I know that I had alot of pet peeves my fiance did to me, and when I asked him nicely to knock it off, he did. I made him understand how i felt. If that doesnt work. Bite his nose, and ask him how that made him feel! :)