What would you do to become more of a people person ?

Question

Ok.. well im a very non sociable person.. Im a loner that has no friends and basically doenst talk to anyone buy my family members. I dont really want to be this way but im very shy and i cant seem to get myself to talk to people and make friends. How do normal people connect with others to eventually become friends. I dont think im a bad person .. I just really lack social skills... What should i do to change .... any advice ?? Thanks

Answer 1

Pretend you want to write a story about everyone you meet. You'll automatically show interest in them and you'll find yourself asking them tons of conversational questions. That's just a suggestion.

But really, just give yourself a confidence booster before you enter a social situation. Make yourself realize that you're on the same level as everyone else and just try to take part in conversation in whatever way you feel comfortable. Smiling a lot helps too. :) And just because you're shy doesn't mean you're not normal. You'll connect with the kind of people you have things in common with...that's natural.

Answer 2

I used to be very shy (in high school and younger). I decided it was very lonely and made the decision to step outside of my comfort zone and become someone who was friendly and outgoing. It is easier if you step into new environments where people don't already know you - you can recreate yourself & they don't know any different. I was lucky, I decided that when I went away to college, I would put my new plan into action. The first night when I got to the dorm, I unpacked, set my stuff up and stopped by the different rooms where the doors were open and introduced myself with all the confidence in the world. At the ice-breaker that night, I scoped out the people who appeared confident and friendly and worked my way over making sure I got into the "discussion groups" with them and made a point to get to know them. I know that I had the perfect opportunity to do this, but you can start on a smaller scale by joining an interest group i.e. sports, church, class, etc where you will be able to try this out on new people. The most important way you can exude the confidence you need is to make sure your body language is relaxed & open. Don't cross your arms, slump or stand too stiff. A warm smile is very important, non-forced eye contact and once you introduce yourself, ask questions about them without having them be too intrusive i.e. ask about work, ask about the hobby you are participating in. You don't have to be particularly gabby to be friendly, you just have to reach out. People like to know that you are interested in them.

Answer 3

Volunteer in the community... serve food at the homeless shelter or be a reading buddy with the kids of homeless families... Help deliver meals to shut-ins with Meals on Wheels... help build houses with Habitat for Humanity... volunteer with the Red Cross...

Any kind of voluntary service that puts you among people, will help. You will be helping others. And, likely, you will find yourself talking to some of the people.... either those you are serving or those whom you are serving with.

You will find, in talking to some of those folks, that you share similar feelings and common experiences... and, in some cases, you will learn new things by seeing life through someone else's eyes.

Being in the position of "volunteer" gives the shy part of you a reason to be there... (as opposed to, say, a club of some sort, where you wander around trying to look like you belong).

I can't recommend community service volunteering highly enough for overcoming shyness and lack of social skills.

Answer 4

Well, asking this question and communicating with people online is step one in social skill. Next thing you should do is.. try to talk to someone CLOSE to you, practice on them, ask them how was your day, and find a way to keep them interested in the conversation, next, you should try to talk to an old friend or a family relative that's not very close.

Answer 5

Hey white,

I think you just took the first step.

Learn to generally care about people. Are you able to empathize with others? Feel sorry for people? Be happy for people?

Then express that to people. If the person in front of you wins the lottery, say, "Congratulations!"

If someone falls down help them up and see what you can do for them.

These are examples of little things that can lead to opportunities for friendship.

Good luck!

Answer 6

i find that the whole handshake greeting thing, works, its a good way to assert or insert yourself. if you see someone with the same interest as you say something thatll make the two of you to think the same thing- "hey check that out"- - or just sit back and watch people, when you see a group of people that you like join their conversation after a laugh- theres also finding someone whos alone and talk to them

Answer 7

Are you sure that is really what you want?
why do you think you are not normal?
you are normal. maybe you are not really shy.
people have friends to lean on. maybe you really do not want to be a burden to others. maybe you really do not want to be burdened by others. maybe you are a free spirit . and independent soul. i suggest this because that is the way i am.
i am altruistic to a point. friends can be a real drain on your day. good luck
so live your life the way you are, not by the way of the masses

Answer 8

I used to be 'shy'.Then I found out shyness is a form of narcissism.
Theory is that shy people believe people are thinking about them as much as they are thinking about themselves.
Try just saying "Hi!"It doesn't matter if the other person replies or not.If the situation allows ask how's it going.And really be interested in the answer.(Force yourself to be interested at first .The real interest will come.)
Being selective will come later.

Answer 9

It's okay to be alone too, sometimes. So don't feel like you have to be chatty all the time. Just listen when people talk, and watch their expression. Pretend it's your new hobby to understand other people and figure out what they are thinking about things. Investigate them. ; )

Answer 10

Smile, say hello, be polite, and be yourself~ <3

:D The stronger the impression you leave behind is, the more people will remember you and want to talk to you ^^

At least....it works for me XD