My hubby and i have been married 6 yrs this week.He is 30 yrs old and i am 26 yrs old.We have a 6 yr old son and a daughter who is 2.5 yrs old.As far as sex goes we go at it 3-4 times a week but we have nasty fun.Sometimes i wish we had more sex but i guess thats what holidays and vacations are for!Anyhow my hubby claims to not be that into porn?He says he only really indulges once in a while in watching but if i want to be informed when i am more than welcome to join him?Is this normal?My friend mindy says if your hubby is not watching porn regularly then he cheating on you?
2007-06-24 17:25:48 · 17 answers · asked by Jenny I 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
poloboy you should probably read questions before answering
2007-06-24 18:54:49 · update #1
Does your friend Mindy tell you when to go to the bathroom also?
Nothing wrong with your hubby, no reason to think he's cheating. Mindy, however, sounds like trouble - anyone who tries to convince you that your husband is cheating when there is no reason is not a friend.
2007-06-24 17:33:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been married 10 years and I am NOT into porn! I will watch the clips that get sent by e-mail from buddies but that is about it! I would much rather go at it with my wife than watch it on TV!
Before I was married and when I was not in a serious relationship I would catch some of the "Soft Porn" on Cinamax and take care of myself (all guys do it!).
But since I have been married I am not into porn!
As for you going at it 3 or 4 times a week with two kids at home GOOD FOR YOU! Keep it up and your husband will NEVER look elsewhere for it!
2007-06-25 10:45:03 · answer #2 · answered by me4tennessee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesn't mean he's cheating on you. Some men just aren't that into it. My husband claims to not like porn either. I didn't believe it either. We've been married for 7 years now. Well I like porn, it gives you new ideas and can be fun to watch together. I bought some really good porn for my husband for the first time last year (not believing his story of hating porn) and he threw it away without even unwrapping it! He was a little offended by my gesture, but I got the picture. I also dug it out of the garbage when he wasn't looking and stashed it in my sock drawer! :)
2007-06-25 00:58:07 · answer #3 · answered by Jacob's Mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend Mindy is absolutely, totally wrong (she sounds fairly immature and inexperienced, too). Do not be worried that your husband is having an affair. It sounds like you are keeping him happy and satisfied. Some of the things I am about to write may not apply to you personally, but I hope that if they don't, at least they might help other women understand men.
Every man is different. Some just don't care for porn, others can't get enough of it. Either way is okay, I think, so long as it is not an obsession that is taking over their life, taking all their time. The best situation is one in which he and his wife (or girlfriend) both have about the same level of interest in porn and other sexual things. If you haven't tried watching it with him, you should try it. Chances are you might learn something, but that is not the best benefit of watching porn together. The real benefit is when both of you get excited and turned on, and then go after each other. It can be great.
Besides that, then you will know what he is doing and watching, and what kinds of things interest him most. It can be a very enlightening experience for both of you. He learns things watching it too, and I'm sure you've been the beneficiary of some of those things. :)
I hope you don't think that if he watches porn, it means that he is dissatisfied with you. You may be the perfect lover, exactly what he needs and wants in his real, day-to-day life. But no matter how good you are, there are some things that you can't (or won't) give him. There's a joke that says "What's wrong with same-sex marriage? Since we've been married, it's the same sex every night." You cannot possibly provide him with variety - different body shapes and sizes, for example, different reactions, personalities, hair color (okay, I'll give you hair color :) That is, unless you are one of the minority of very open minded people who are into swinging or open marriage (not likely, I know). Most people love prime rib, but a hamburger is nice sometimes too.
Maybe he is perfectly happy and satisfied with you sexually, but he just likes porn too. Maybe you're not as adventurous as you used to be, or as he wishes you were. Maybe you don't want to do things he'd like, such as a threesome, giving oral sex and letting him to give you oral sex, for example. Or maybe you are too modest, reluctant to let him be too intimate with you. Worse, you might express feelings that his interests and feelings are "disgusting" to you, shame him, and make him feel like he can't openly and honestly share his fantasies and feelings with you, for fear of making you angry, or hurt, or disappointed. These are all complaints I have heard from men.
Isn't it better to let him watch other people living out his fantasies in videos or magazines, than to have him live them out himself with someone else behind your back?
Don't worry about him having an affair just because he likes porn. A majority of men do enjoy fantasy and porn (probably all sexually healthy men do, but many won't admit it), but most of them don't go out and have an affair. It is a multi-billion dollar industry, after all. Since you said you two have "nasty fun" it sounds like you are a fun girl with at least somewhat of an open mind. Watching porn together might be a new and exciting experience for you both.
Good luck!
2007-06-25 00:58:33 · answer #4 · answered by Don P 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not true. I have found that the women who say no porn and forbid their husbands from ever looking etc.. are the husbands that will do it and do it more maybe not cheat but they will look. The women who say hey I do not care if he looks at playboy or other things their husbands tend to not look at it as much and live it more in the bedrooms with their spouses. They share more about their fantasies etc... If someone tells you not to do something it usually makes you want to do it, within reason, so as long as you are happy and he is happy then I wouldn't think about the rest.
2007-06-25 00:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by caligal68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is a different twist most women on here are complaining daily about ther BF or hubby looking at porn. What is wrong with us all having the wrong partners. i think you sound like the idea woman.
2007-06-25 00:31:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You women are truly amazing! I guess the fact that we don't know what you're going to think form one day to the next is what makes it worth while.
All I hear is you broads on here complaining about your guys are watching Internet porn...now you're complaining that the guy isn't normal because he doesn't watch porn...
Geesh!!
2007-06-25 00:39:11 · answer #7 · answered by bettercockster1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is WRONG WRONG WRONG! Not all men need porn to survive. It is perfectly normal for a man not to be interested in porn. Obviously with having sex as often as you do....he is far more interested in you and only you.
2007-06-25 00:33:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he is normal, and you should be happy that he is not addicted to the porn! Some people have the opposite problem (that they can't get thier men to stop!!) so you should just count your blessings and enjoy your life!
2007-06-25 00:34:02 · answer #9 · answered by Andrea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Apparantly your friend Mindy has a problem. Dont believe e/thing you hear.
2007-06-25 00:34:38 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋