I have been divorced for 4 years. Our original divorce did not state any specific visitation times. We are modifying the agreement and I want to make visitation clear as my ex has started playing games. I want to make sure I address everything possible. Holidays, who drives, etc. Anyone think of anything I might overlook?
2007-06-24 16:05:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He lives 45 minutes away from me and I have to drive the kids to see him. I don't think it is petty. I am paying the gas for him to see his kids. There is no child support. He works during the day and I don't. He would rather leave the kids home alone or bring them to his girlfriends house just to spite me.
2007-06-24 17:08:56 · update #1
I am not saying they should not see him. He is just now seeing them since the divorce. He has never been involved in their lives until now. They are 11 and 14.
2007-06-24 17:12:28 · update #2
I am not sure who has primary custody. Is it visitation for you or your spouse?
Anyway to ensure that the "visiting" spouse covers all available time, look at the school schedules. You need to cover the days off of school for teacher's conferences, etc. Also cover the days that the kids go 1/2 days at school. Many people forget to consult the school schedule before planning visitation. Also, depending upon the age of the children, you need to cover "trades" too. There may be times when the kids have plans - such as a friend having a party on the visiting weekend, etc.
2007-06-24 16:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All of the comments on here that state that you are being petty have obviously never had to work a custody agreement with someone who is difficult.
My husband and his ex-wife setteled with a mediator for thier custody and there were many things left out. Make sure to get a part in there that states that if a child is involved in any particular sport or activity that falls on the other parent's weekend, then that parent is responsible to take the child.
I would definately get the pick up and drop off times arranged so that they are equal. If you get it in an order that you will do all the driving it will be hard to change back. I would have him pick the holidays that he believes he would want the children and get the exact holidays, pick up and drop off times are spelled out.
You MUST be as specific as possible, dont go with the assumption that this person will be reasonable and work with you because after a few years, they can begin to use the flexibility against you.
2007-06-27 19:21:58 · answer #2 · answered by jmay219 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are standard State visitation agreements. Sometimes they are modified by the local counties. Check with the court where you got the divorce or your local court house if you moved. I don't believe you can change the court ordered agreement by yourself and make it legal. You may have to get a lawyer and go back to court to get your modifactions approved. In Ohio, most court ordered agreements have a statement saying, when items are not addressed in the court ordered agreement, then one falls back to the standard visitations agreements set by your county or state. You might want to call the Domestic Relations Department in your local court and ask your questions.
Hope this helps.
Good luck,
Phill
2007-06-24 23:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by Phillip H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, um, you can't play games if you have no clear agreement...
aside from that -
right of first refusal & move aways are two of the most commonly overlooked items in visitation agreements, pick up & drop off location, communication while child is visiting other parent, how much notice if visitation needs to be canceled or changed, how you plan on making up time if visitation gets canceled or changed, & medical care/notification.
2007-06-24 23:15:10 · answer #4 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, the rights of the CHILDREN to see their father when they want to. Who drives is being pretty damned petty. Obviously you haven't gotten over the divorce and are playing your own games.
2007-06-24 23:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your really worried about your ex playing games the best way to make sure that the kids are safe and to put your mind at ease is to make sure that the" visitation rights" are supervised .... if he dosen't agree to that then don't let him see the kids
2007-06-24 23:14:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah the childs need for its father. Who drives I mean come on. You cant control everything. So why are you trying.
2007-06-24 23:12:38 · answer #7 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋