What would you do with a seven year non-existent relationship?

Question

I really cared for this man I used to feed sea turtles with. He got stationed in Hawaihi. We kept e-mailing tried to see eachother several times, made plans, but it never worked out. I got married had children, but I never forgot him. I still think of him in an unhealthy mopping kind of way. The kind of way that makes you think of what if we ever were to meet. How would you get over it?

Answer 1

I would try to stop thinking about him. That's something that's within your control. The more you feed the monster the hungrier it gets, so stop dwelling on thoughts about him. It will just make the longing worse.

You can't always control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you CAN control whether or not you dwell on them. Get into the habit of dismissing the thoughts when they come and move onto something else.

If you are married, or have children, your duties and responsibilities lie with them, not some man from your past who you know nothing about now (he could be in love or married with kids, etc).

We can't live life in our dreams. You have a life now, so live it to the fullest!

Answer 2

Ahh...the "What-ifs"!

Humans have a funny way of holding on to the past and thinking about the "what-ifs". What if I did this instead of this or went here instead of there, etc...

You need to try and forget about the mystery of what if with this gentleman and think about the wonders and what-ifs with your husband and children. Think about what-if your son becomes a firefighter or what it will be like when your daughter dates. All you can do is think about your family now and how lucky you are to be in a loving relationship with beautiful children to show from it.

Be happy as you are blessed!

Answer 3

I would go see a marriage couple therapist.