Why do people use this term?

Question

When referring to the LGBT community, people say "the gays". Or "I know a gay". How disrespectful. In addition to it being incorrect english, it's just plain rude.

WitchTwo - it's not the word "gay" that is a problem it's the manner in which it is used. I am gay and if someone calls me gay, I don't care. But if my coworker says "I work with a gay", that is rude, saying "I work with someone gay" is totally different.

FTW - I know, I know...

Jyse - I know there are worse names to be called. I guess for me I find it to be annoying like you said.

Answer 1

Sweetie, you expected otherwise from the ignorant bigots? Rude is part of their character.

Answer 2

I have a ton of gay friends who will say things like "He's a gay", or sometimes worse. I don't because I am straight and don't want to offend anyone but sometimes (I am NOT trying to offend you now), people are a little overly sensitive. I am a Jew, maybe even a Jap, I don't get offended when people say "oh, shes a Jew" and not correctly say "she's Jewish". I just feel like in today's society everyone has to be so careful not to offend anyone even if that is not their intention. It makes people scared to say anything and it makes comedians a lot less funny because they always have to watch their mouths now. I just kind of feel like (again not you personally), get over yourself and relax a little. The world is too full of hate to go around accusing people of being racist, homophobic, xenophobic, who really aren't hateful people.

Edit: And being Jewish where I live is frowned upon. My husband got fired from his job because he was married to a "Jew girl". Where I live it is white and christian or you don't belong!

Answer 3

It stems from ignorance. Plus some people just have poor grammer and english these days.
I'ts sad but some people just refuse to change but others just don't realise what they are saying is offensive or wrong. Often people say things like "I know a gay" to try and show an acceptance that they know someone who is homosexual and they are accepting of it, some people simply don't realise that the way they said it makes it sound rude.
Try pointing it out to people, it may change their behavior.

Answer 4

I believe that entirely. I think when i hear somone say "the gays" or somthings close to that it makes me feel as if im just part of this group or property. Were all different so what i dont hear people calling other people "the people who like the color red" this is life not a division problem.

Answer 5

It is an annoyance that you might have to live with unless you plan to correct everybody that uses it "wrongly". Today people are not really sure how to recognize a new growing minority group. They are using the gay as a noun instead of a adjective describing a person.

Answer 6

Unfortunately, the gay community is still a sub-culture in society, similar to the drug sub-culture. Until they reach the good ole' 51% majority, then they will still be lower than your everyday people.

There are worse words than "gay" too. Many, many worse words. Gotta take what you can get.

Answer 7

I think they are trying to declare one of us as "the gay" like the alpha gay will answer their questions or "a gay" will come around and be like, "oh you mean me!" I find it to annoying but we could be called MUCH worse, so me called "a gay" is fine with me! :)

I mean it's not the best usage of the English language, but still you can call me "a gay" anyday over names like fruit, f@g/f@ggot, queer, mary, queen, fudge packer, sausage lover.. I'm sure the list goes on!

Answer 8

here, here! I'm feeling ya point lol
seriously, i also agree with shy lion, you make a valid point but it's never gonna change sadly.
Ya know what i dislike, when someone says a joke referring to gays, now... providing it's actual funny i laugh, but then ya get the whole, oh my god, sorry, i didn't mean anything blah blah blah.
Ppl are just silly and say silly things, correct them or laugh at them, or laugh with them. Works for me :)

Answer 9

It's just ignorance on their part, I'm sure we'd be corrected if we said, "a straight" But I have to agree with Jyse, there are far worse names we could be called and seems like we have been already, even in this question.

Answer 10

It can't be that bad hun because they come right out and say "I am Gay", I have certainly had plenty of gay people tell me they were gay....they dont' say "Hi, I'm homosexual", they say "I am gay"