I'm 15 but I feel so old.?

Question

I feel like life is going so fast. It won't slow down. I'm happy but i'm getting more depressed b/c of the thought of death. And being old and not being able to do much.

I just want to live with no fear of that. Everyone has a fear, but I'm only 15!!! Why do I feel like this! I think about death and growing up and everyone I love dying too. It's something I think about all the time and everyday. You have no idea. I want to think of something else. Something a teen can think about. So I don't have to feel like this. I feel 80!

I even thought of suicide to end the pain of growing up and losing the ones I love. The thought of all of it is to hard. I don't want to commit suicide. I'm not a fan of giving up.

Graduation. Getting 18 and getting out of my house, my childhood home. Dealing with my loved ones deaths. Turning 40. Getting older than that and being to old to be, to be a kid again and have fun.

Alzhiemers. That could be my biggest fear.

About the Alzhiemers issue. It could be my biggest fear. Not being able to look back on anything. My little sister having to deal with me not knowing her. It's all to much.

Older people, how do you deal with things like this? Other teens probably would be bored by stuff you have to speak up about, but honestly, I'm all ears.

By the way, please don't say something stupid and make me feel worst. Please don't. I'm actually begging. I cant take all that. This has kind of been an ease off for me b/c I'm talking about how I feel. It's like a journal entry. Oh. Another thing. Do you think I should start a journal? Do you think it would help take issues like this off my mind and leave them stuck on paper?

Thank you people for your answers, opinions, and answers. My heart actually sinks when I read your answers. It's because I'm getting answers. From real people. Thanks. It means alot. Seriously.

Answer 1

It is difficult being 15. Probably more difficult now than ever in some ways.

I guess the big trick is to enjoy the moment and make it as good as possible. A friend of mine used to say "If you have one foot in the future and the other in the past, you piss all over today." (-:

One thing you could do is tell the people you love that you love them and would really feel terrible if they died or if you got Alzheimer's and couldn't remember them. You're obviously a very kind and loving person and very sensitive. Express how you feel to your loved ones and get some hugs. There's a lot of talk about expressing anger, fear, and emotional pain to take care of yourself, but these feelings of love you have need to be expressed just as much.

Please talk to your doctor if the depression gets worse or if you begin to feel suicidal and find someone you can trust to be honest with. We tend to need help sometimes to "figure things out".

Consider that there is something that you need to learn about yourself, your friends and family, and your place in the world. You are not alone.

Take care of yourself!

Answer 2

Sweetheart, just because you are over 18 does not provide you with the utmost ability and respect in this world to put yourself to a higher standards than minors. Minors are still citizens, they are still people, and they are the ones who're going to be tending to the wastebuckets on your death beds. Smarten up, GROW UP, and show a little respect. Hurting someone's feelings and humiliating them purposefully NEVER has an excuse, and this is not the way to learn. This is why you have teenagers who respond so negatively to adults and commit suicide; nobody will accept and understand them, let alone attempt it. You are stereotyping future generations and isolating them, raising them as if they're some type of permanent minority that you must bring up to be cold, hard, and mean. As if they deserve no love like any other humans do. We do NOT isolate teenagers from society; we respect them as our children, our future, and in some cases, our very last hope for a better life! Who else is going to do it when we become crippled and can't walk ten feet without sh*tting our big diapers? There is NO good reason for ageism; you are being discriminatory and an absolutely disgusting, sickening person. She is probably more mature than you are; "grown-up" talk does not necessarily apply to those over 18, especially snotty b*tches like yourself. 25 ain't that impressive, honey. In most over the age of 35's eyes, you yourself are still a child!

Answer 3

yes you should start a journal....i am 27 and been keeping one since i was 15...it has helped me a lot, like my memory and growth....i remember thinking when i was 15 and 16 that i would never live past 30...well i am close now and i get scared of living sometimes and i think i am setting myself up for death just at the time when things are coming together to give me something to live for....i just found someone that i could spend the rest of my life with and i don't know if i can cause all the things i have done in the past cause i didn't think it really mattered....all i know to tell you is be good to yourself and live healthy, it is so important to live healthy and keep a journal of everything you do....love is the law, love under will

Answer 4

I have that exact same feeling. But you have to realize that your only 15 years old! You have many, many years ahead of your liftetime so why worry about it now! Focus on being a kid!
Seriously, what I would do is just take one day at a time. Don't worry about when your 18, 40, 60, etc. Read this passage below:

"Shut the iron doors on the past and future. Live in daytight compartments"
- Sir William Osler

In my opinion, you should try to live life like a sealed box. A box where in order to get to the future it has to be opened by an outside source. There's only one outside source, and that's God. So don't worry about anything in the future!

As far as growing up is concerned, in every stage and milestone you go through in life, you can always have fun. The word is defined differently throughout each stage, (like when your a kid you may like to play on a playground and when your old you may like to play cards) but when your in that stage of life, you know what fun is. You don't just have to be a kid to have fun.

Answer 5

While it is really good to get healthy feed back from people on-line, this is not a board of psychologists. You need to see a professional. You have, at the very least Anxiety disorder. It is very normal, but there are people that can help. Your depression should be addressed as well. You are very young and impressionable, things people say on this site could impact you negatively. Please tell someone who could get you the help you need, or choose someone you trust enough to talk to regularly. You can't do this on your own Honey. As for your question about a journal, I have one, so I think it's a wonderful idea to get your thoughts out, and if you write on a Monday and your feeling Really low, go back on the next Monday and see how what you wrote makes you feel then. Please get back to me and let me know how things are going for you. This could be very difficult.

Answer 6

It's been said that there are only two things gauranteed in life, death and taxes. Accept that and get on with it. You can't change how, where, when, or why you are going to die. When I was that age, I felt the same way. You don't know how much longer you have, so make the most of what you can, that way when you do die your life isn't wasted. You may have one day, or at your age another hundred years. Just think of this: An eighty year old probably thought his life went too fast, now he probably can't wait to die. Stop thinking what you are thinking, and get out and enjoy yourself.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. But think of all the time you're wasting thinking this way!!! You're afraid of growing up and getting old, but if you waste your life worrying about it, you'll have a harder time with life when you're older. You'll look back and think about how dull your life was. I know time is short. I feel like I can't fit everything I want to do in my life. Do you really want to look back and regret making your life so dull? You only have one life to live. One, short life. Why not make it fun while it lasts? Make sure you cherish every moment you have. Take every opportunity that comes your way. Focus on being successful and have a happy youth. If you have fun with life, you can smile because it happened instead of frowning because it's over. Don't think too much about the future. Focus on now. Focus on your studies, but make plenty of time to hang out with friends and family. Find something that makes you happy. Express yourself through art, music, or whatever you like to do. Exercising and eating healthy is one way to feel great about yourself, as well as live longer. Being stress free is a great way to be happy and lengthen your life. Throughout high school, get involved as much as possible. Have a blast, because these are the best years of your life. When you're done with school, plan to travel so you can have fun and find yourself. Fall in love and get married, if you wish. Plan for success.

If you can't find out what's wrong or if you can't stop thinking this way, maybe visit a therapist, doctor, or psychologist.

Answer 8

I know how you feel. I was 15 yesterday and now I'm 36. I'm happy to have all the experiences and know I have many, many more to enjoy. They say that today's 40 is yesterday's 30. I believe it. Most people are living well into their 70s now so when you are 40, you'll probably only be half way there. Life has so many lessons and experiences to offer. Embrace them instead of being timid. :)

Answer 9

Hi! I understand but sometimes going through all that is call life. And maybe you are facing this too fast. Did someone in your family just die? and this has started this thinking. Well each time you start thinking about it go out side and play jump rope. You could need someone to talk to so call a profession in your home town and talk with them. Have you talk this over with your parents? that is the first place you should start.

Answer 10

It sounds like you have an anxiety problem. Have you lost a loved one recently? You need to get some counseling before you drive yourself completely crazy over this.

And to answer your second question, a journal might be a good idea. Getting your feelings on to paper can be surprisingly helpful.