older woman/younger man relationship/11 yrs gap?

Question

I 'm Katie,38 yrw old and my bf is 27.At first,he thought i was 26-27 as i look very young but after i month of dating i told him my age.He was shocked and very disappointed(he even checked my ID)and,first, he asked me to break up.Later,he said he was confused but he didn't want to lose me.Before,he presented me to his friends,his family knew about me,we spent 2 much together and we match mentally and sexually.It's been a week since he learnt about my age and,although,we continue together,he's somehow distant.He says that he found out sby to match in every way but this age gap is big issue and he can't see this ending to a marriage.I spent this weekend in his house ,mostly, to find out how things are going now.He has changed a little bc of this,as he said.All these days,he keeps saying that 1 day we'll break up for sure bc of the age gap.I don't know if i have to give him sometime to realise what he wants or to stop seeing him.

I respect myself,i know my qualities and i don't want to be a play toy of a man.I'm not interested in a sexual relationship only,so don't advice me to stay for this part.In my life,i've never been satisfied with leftovers.

I respect myself,i know my qualities and i don't want to be a play toy of a man.I'm not interested in a sexual relationship only,so don't advice me to stay for this part.In my life,i've never been satisfied with leftovers.

Answer 1

age is obviously an issue for him. drop him now and find someone who isnt hung up on the age factor

Answer 2

sweetie, doesn't he knows thatt age is only a number that we keep. I'm proud tha you knew how to take care of yourself. He might be having an issue with your age and becoming distance, so why don't you give him some space, let him know how important you are in his life, then maybe a few days or maybe weeks, if he didn't here from you,he'll realize that feeling insecure because of ages is a stupid things to have. Talk to him, and tell him that you will give him some distance or tell him that if your age really bothers him, its time for you to go,cause you do not deserve this insecurity from him. You got more class that that so follow your heart, be the best that you can be, his not the only man out there,yes!!

Answer 3

He has the right to feel the way he is feeling right now, confused, disappointed, lied to, so it might take some time before he can finally wrap his head around the change. As long as he can't bring himself to come to terms with this, and overcome the doubts he's now having, moving forward in the relationship will be difficult. In most cases, age gap shouldn't be an issue but in yours, it is the big issue. Since it takes two to run a relationship, why not talk it over with him and try to come up with a decision you both would agree upon.

Answer 4

Well, it wouldn't be an issue if it didn't matter to him. It's eating away at him it seems like. It's not even the fact that you lied, it's your age. I wouldn't pursue the relationship. I too look very young for my age at least 15 years younger and I dated a guy who was 12 years younger, he didn't care one bit. He just went on with it and was happy as can be. I don't know if you like younger guys, or this one just happen to come in your path, but a lot of younger guys don't even care. I know it's hard not to meet younger guys if you look young too, so ... find one that loves you no matter what age you are.

Answer 5

I say stop now unless you can just hang out occasionally with no problems. This happened to me I was with a woman 8 years older, which it was always in the back of my head and I could never stop thinking about it so we eventually broke up. Some people really don't like it some don't care but eventually he is going to try with someone his age. Just end it and maybe be friends.
Try to keep it within 3 to 4 years next time, goodluck

Answer 6

I was married to a lady who was 10 years older than me, The marriage lasted 10 years. There was never a problem with the age difference.

Answer 7

It sounds like he's being very immature for HIS age. He really doesn't know how good he has it. When you're in a relationship like this (older woman/younger man) life is great! The woman is mature, settled in her career, life, and habits. They feel good about themselves, are less concerned of “material/image” things. They are also less apt to playing the relationship/mind games that have become all too common in younger women. Kick him to the curb!

Answer 8

Respect yourself as you said. Since age seems
to be an issue to him, and you see that he has
changed then maybe it's time for you to think what
is better for you. 38yrs is young and you seem to
be very independent, so think of your future and
if it will not be good with him then move on as you
will still have other chances with other men. You
being a woman deserve a good man that love and
care for you so if you don't have that then look on.
Good luck.

Answer 9

Give him his space and time for him to digest your insincerity. As it would seem he is obviously bothered by your age factor. Katie, If he end the relationship don't be surprised just count your loses, stand up for your own actions and accept his decision 100%. I bet this will be a good lesson learned ... Sorry!!!

Answer 10

Justify all you want, you were trying to play in a different play penn. Just think, when you are 60, he'll only be 48, the prime of his career and life.

Men are into saving/losing face. Superficial, yes, but cannot be ignored. He has lost face.