Ok. it is a long story..but just listen. I have this male friend. he is married. BUT i knew him before he got married. we had feelings for eachother..but then we lost touch. wella couple months ago we ran into eachother. i gave him my number..we would talk on the phone. he called me last night bcuz his wife is out of town and he wanted me to come over. I am not trying to be a homewrecker..so please no mean things about that. but i told him i couldnt go over there..he was acting really paranoid bcuz he knew he was doing something wrong. he was like well i will talk to you later.i was like ok. then i sent him this text message "Listen, dont call me. I care about you ALOT. I always have..but I dont want to ruin anything with you and your wife.Im sorry, just dont ever call me again." And as soon as i sent that..he called. I didnt answer it...but he called a second time. so i answered it. he asked me why i was being like that. He cares about me too and that he would call me 2morrow..
2007-06-24 11:12:20 · 28 answers · asked by Shannon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but i figured if he didnt give a crap about me he wouldnt call me and say that he still wants to talk to me. he would just be like whatever...so what does this mean? I know he is paranoid baout his wife finding out he is talking to me.. BUT if he really didnt give a crap about me..he wouldnt have called me back..but he did..what does this mean?
2007-06-24 11:13:56 · update #1
it means hes stupid. leave that kid alone. my dad did this to my mom. and you know what..... when i find his girlfriend..... oh baby that ***** is done.
but ummm my best advice is to just leave him alone. hes married.
2007-06-24 11:20:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Shnnon (My answer is long as you question)
I am not talkig about , this particular incidence but about incidnces like these (As real contents could only be understood by reading the expressions, body lanuage at the time of meeting & your past experiences etc). One meaning is definitely that , what you understood & reacted accordingly, so you might not be wrong, but you might be !
It depends, what exactly you thought about that man before marriage. Because not marrying you doesnt mean that he was unfair to you, as this event is influenced by many other social factors (which is mostly missunderstood by people- specially by girls). Why we should think that , if love (though you have not mentioned this term at all, but still it sounds to be there) could not succed in marriage,it was false ! Do understand his feelings about you That you can, (take the help of your heart) if you also have the same feels about him , what seems to be (if not, then why did you placed this question here-? just move & go away !).
This meeting would have given you a satisfaction of serving & seeking both & not doing this has given given you a sense of guilt so you are here to ask you a question in a hope that some answer would support your act (you will get these answers also)& you may come out out of your guilt (but i tell you , you can never ! -even after getting answer that supports your act.. This is because, logics run with social & country rules but emotions with internal feel which may or may not over rule the "RULES". or "The rule of grediant")
The last thing about "Homewrecking". No .. i say never... intead this could be a "home making act" unless caught.
The man who wants you, -will be glad like getting a lottery, & this happyness always spills in family. His wife would be surprised (from where this pleasure is raining !).
But this you can do only when, you dont develope a sense of guilt by doing that. I stress- you are not giving pleasures only but getting also -because you also wanted this (so dont deveope a feel of sacrifice). If you have any guilt in doing this , i dont suggest any thing (as you have already done rightfull thing). This pattern of "HIDE & SEEK" boosts the pleasure of both (A sense of winning, that you succeded ).
Remeber , you are concerned to "HIM" but not to "HIS WIFE".
"Guilt never goes, unless decisions are made in favor of your own heart".
MOON (INDIA)
2007-06-24 19:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by Moon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the type of woman that makes married women fear to leave their husbands alone. Both of you, the married guy and you, are at fault. If you really don't want to cause problems, then you need to get together with him AND his wife and discuss things...discuss everything you and this married man have said to eachother. Yes, you may always care about eachother, but he didn't pick you, he didn't seek you out and try to 'find you' when y'all lost touch...and he moved on and married someone else...this is why marriages don't work anymore...because people like you and this married man think things like this are okay...when they're not. Now, you have taken some steps in the right direction...but both of you know what you're doing is wrong...and it sure is hell isn't fair to the woman who does wear the ring. Put yourself in her shoes for Christ's sake. You wouldn't like it either. You and the married guy and THE WIFE need to sit and talk about all this face to face. She deserves to know what's going on. But honestly, you and the guy deserve eachother...the wife deserves better.
2007-06-24 11:45:56 · answer #3 · answered by Blessed 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am a wife, so I would say from the wife's stand point, leave him alone and stick with your text message. He probably does have feelings for you but the sad truth is that he is married and he needs to stick with his wife. If he does not love his wife and he wants you then he needs to come clean and get out the marriage. Please do not sleep with him while he is married. It is just wrong. Once the divorce is final then go for it. I just hope that there are no children involved in the marriage.
2007-06-24 11:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by Lizzy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
miss. i will jus say tha the man is married and livin wit his wife. I think am young but still, you are a woman and you have sense, if you two meant to be then some how he will have waited for you. Now he is already married and for your sake and the man's sake don't try or do anything to break up that marriage. He made a vow before God in a church or wherever and i am sur he placed an ring on his wife's finger, therefore he have to control himself and remember that he'd got an wife who i think love him very much. Now, u two can be friends but after all, oh no! you live your life and be faithful as the man enjoys his marriage life. Be friends!
2007-06-24 11:23:11 · answer #5 · answered by Carla M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, first of all, you had no reason, or business to tell the man you care about him. All that did, was add "fuel to the fire". I mean, were you actually expecting him to leave you alone after that? No, you didn't. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you KNEW he would call you. I don't understand you women. The man is MARRIED. If you mean what you said about not wanting to interfere, then DON'T. By that I mean, leave him alone, don't text or call him anymore. The blame here falls largely on your shoulders for enticing him in the first place. Find yourself a single man, and leave this one alone.
2007-06-24 12:16:25 · answer #6 · answered by che_rae_gra53 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stay away from him. Even though the two of you are friends and have been a for a while, it would be best if you cut off ALL contact with him. Change your number, I don't know, do something. If you continue to talk to him or even get intamate with him, not only will you hurt him and his wife, you will hurt yourself. How guilty would you feel if you knew you had committed such a horrible betrayal against another WOMAN?
2007-06-24 11:23:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anna C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He cares about you a lot. As i see he feels something for you. But i think you should not break your friendly relationship with him so fast. Go straight to the point and make clear that you are just friends not anything else. You both can talk and all that but not touch the theme of love or something. I think he is mature as you so you should tell him your feelings about what he did and make your point clear if that happens again.
Good Luck!
2007-06-24 11:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have not part in meeting up with him as you will only be used to fill the gap while his wife is away. I like the way you text him and tried to discourage him, which shows how mature you are. He might be wanting to have a fling with you, just so he can check to see if there is a spark there between you two and if so, is it better than the one he has with his wife. Please don't encourage him and tell him if his relationship with his wife is that bad, why did he marry her?. Cheers and good luck.
2007-06-24 11:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It means you will have so much guilt afterwards that you will find it hard to live with yourself and wonder if when you get married will the same happen to you. It is very difficult for you, I know, but the sex is not worth it. Don't let your emotions take over, use your common sense, go with someone special and release yourself all night if you have to. Don't walk into that hellish trap. Good luck
2007-06-24 11:26:42 · answer #10 · answered by Modern Man 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep to what you said in your text message, you need to be strong, he is PLAYING on your feelings from the past this is what a married man or a player would do just to get some on he side. You do not deserve being in 2nd place.
You deserve someone who will love you for you. Put the shoe on the other foot, would you want you husband cheating on you?
2007-06-24 11:23:11 · answer #11 · answered by ~Sheila~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋