I Know This is P&S,But I Thought You Guys Might Like This PG-13 Joke(kinda long?

Question

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on
a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy
says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"

The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and
answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a
highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you
hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but
since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar
like a little hook. You can't see it because of my
feathers."

"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak
English can't you?"

"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can
converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic:
politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm
especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me.
I'd be a great companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. "Sorry, but I just
can't afford that."

"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth
is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can
probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!"

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense
of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is
delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes,
"Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I
don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about
your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife
greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up
her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the
parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on
his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Answer 1

Now I've a good joke to share at the dinner table AND Bible study tonight! Truly LMAO.

Answer 2

It makes you wonder why you never hear the phrase "hung like a parrot".

Answer 3

That was kind of long but surprisingly funny. It was worth the reading.

Answer 4

hahahahaha thats funny great joke where did you hear that?
im definatlly printing this out

Thanks for the laugh

GOD IS LOVE
:D

Answer 5

LFMAO!.. cute parrot:)

Answer 6

Gets funnier every time I hear it! Thanks!