i know it sounds mean,
but i feel like its something that needs to be done.
my bestfriend mikey got into a "gang" sort of thing.
i dont suporrt what theyre doing at all.
but i really like him.
he is like in love with me and he cant see why im so upset.
now he is really depressed because i wont talk to him.
i really want to be goodgood friends with him again,
but not while he is in this "gang" thing.
i want to be happy. and i want him to be happy.
isnt the best solution for him to go back to how he used to be?
how do i ask him to do that?
i dont want to be mean or sound selfish,
but that sounds like the best plan..
2007-06-24 10:16:21 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Peer pressure from his gang friends is stronger than anything you can tell him. So he's probably not going to change, it has to be something he realizes for himself. All you can do is be there to support him as a friend if he changes his mind. Just tell him you don't want to hang out with him anymore if he's going to be hanging out with his "gang", he has to choose. It's ok to be mean and selfish in this situation, you need to watch out for yourself cuase you know what's best for you.
2007-06-24 10:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by Portango 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is the secret to people making such drastic changes based on scientific evidence- which I can't find the link any more. Basically every 8 years all things anatomic make-up is completely changed 100%. This explains why people grow old. Flesh turns to ashes, ashes turns to dust, etc. People are constantly changing even though their soul (which is not anatomic) does not change. You cannot change anyone no matter how hard you try. Only time will take its toll. A true friend is supportive of decisions that someone might make even if they feel that it is the wrong decision. You should stand solid on how you feel this "gang thing" is in reference to his well being, but do not shut him down. Eventually, if time permits, the person will turn away from this direction and will value the support that you have offered. He will always be the same person that you have initially met even though a large array of phases. That is the beauty of the human soul.
2007-06-24 17:30:52 · answer #2 · answered by Gronzey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gangs fulfill a need in young men to belong to a group. If his needs to be in a gang are stronger than his need to be with you he has made his choice and you would be smart to write him off. Its hard to be the girlfriend of a guy in jail.
2007-06-24 17:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by justa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he wants to change, its not gonna happen. Best thing for you is avoid the gang friends and leave him alone but hope for his sake he quits. But why put yourself in danger when you aren't going to get what you want from him anyways.
2007-06-24 17:22:51 · answer #4 · answered by redhighheelsneakers_ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with justagrandma. You are smart to avoid any gang involvement. You should have someone who sees himself in a relationship with you, not you, and you, and you, and... Apparentlyit does not bother him enough or he does not value a relationship with you as much as his relationship to his buddies. That's the choice you have as well. Best of luck. I hope you make the right choice.
2007-06-24 17:32:03 · answer #5 · answered by cavassi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face him. You need a clear answer. IWhich are yr points and what he is going to choose. Be clear yourself first what do u expect from a relation. And let him know you want this change.
The answer or reaction will tell you what to do
2007-06-24 17:29:06 · answer #6 · answered by nikkita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
discuss your reasons he should change express your feelings about his behavior let him know why your concerned, relate
2007-06-24 19:16:33 · answer #7 · answered by paulcarberry2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋