B/F takes good care of children. They are teens and spoiled. B/F is Jewish and celebrates both holidays with us, puts tree in his house for us and have christmas gifts etc.This year we ALL took Xmas cruise. Sometimes I feel picky and ungrateful as I would not have traveled, dined, or been entertained, if it was not for him. As previous post says I ALMOST live at his home. I now want marriage but he recently stated is comfortable as is FOR NOW. Then the vacation came up with kids. He said it was budget, perhaps kids didn't want us along, if so I see it as a bad sign. Should I?
I am fighting resentful feelings and looking for negative issues.My inability to give same things to my son is very humiliating now especially during summer. I had opportunity for free lodgings in great mountain cabin, but his kids didn't want to go. Sadly I could not go without shared gas cost etc.
I am seeking 2nd job which will help and B/F encourages me even tho it means no time for "us". Am I blind?
2007-06-24 09:35:51 · 7 answers · asked by haroldhark 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't be humiliated that you can't give the same things to your son. Don't compare yourself to him. You can't compare because people start out differently, the starting line is not the same for everyone. And if you really want to compare, compare him to someone else who is even more successful. That might put things in perspective.
He doesn't treat you well at all. The things he does 'for you' he would do anyway. Celebrating holidays is fun, it was no sacrifice on his part. Same with going on the cruise, it's much more fun with a companion. The money would not have been a big deal to him. Is he going out of his way to make you feel special, loved and accepted? Is he helping you out in any way? Your relationship with him is like two roommates, based on the level of sharing of your lives. What exactly has he sacrificed?
That is why you feel resentful, it's because you know that it isn't a big deal to him. It's ok if it's a charity case, but NOT if it's with someone you are supposed to be in a relationship with. There is something very withholding and self-serving about him. He's no catch.
I know it's hard because you may feel like you may never get anyone better or anyone else. But what if instead of being good for you, he is holding you back? Being with him does not give you the opportunity to be with someone else. And more than that, he is taking up a LOT of your time and energy. What if by focusing on getting what you really want, you actually get there? People can do much more than they usually believe of themselves. I think he is a poor bet, I would bet on you, because you are the only one who has your own and your son's interest at heart. He doesn't.
Yes it is easier going through life with someone beside you, both working towards the same goals. Find that person. I seriously doubt it is he.
2007-06-24 16:48:42 · answer #1 · answered by Wretched Bonsai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blind as a bat!! you are way too easy, and have little if no self respect.
This guy has both you and his wife snowed. How much you want to bet he has a third 'girl' on the side?? Or is at least looking at his options.
Humiliating and unnecessary for not being able to give what your own child needs because his 'other kids' are in the way.
Take a long hard look at where you really are. You my dear are in mistress ville you have nothing to fall back on (no pun intended) you have no dream of your own, you are dependent on something that is not going to come ever.
Get ready for the heartbreak because I do not believe he will leave his wife why should he? he took vows with her not you. You are dispensable. And really sister you need to get your big girl panties and start thinking in terms of how you are going to get yourself out of this marriage triangle.
What about the statement "I almost live at his house" EWW come on that is just plain gross.
No time for you and him? sister there is no future for you and him read the writing on the wall!!!
2007-06-24 10:17:34 · answer #2 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not blind, you're just taking the easy road.
In a previous question you say he treats your son "great"!.
No, he doesn't. He treats your son's mother as a convenience. you're having sex, he's giving you nice things and there's no marriage....in some states they call that prostitution.
If the guy doesn't have enough love for you to give you his heart, his hand, HIS NAME and his life, then screw the nice cruises. Get the hell out and find a REAL MAN who will.
2007-06-24 09:42:53 · answer #3 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why force something on a person that obviously doesn't want it? What are your priorities....if your priority is your son, then take actions that reflect that. If your priority is you and living the good life with your b/f...well, I'll assume you're intelligent enough to see where this is heading. If b/f can't take you and your son as a package deal, its not a deal. Just MHO.
2007-06-24 10:21:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are fighting resentful feelings because this guy is treating you like crap. He throws you scraps from his thrown and you're grateful because you've probably never had anything before. Do not tolerate it. There are many, many, many men out there. Or you can just be alone. Either scenario sounds better than the one you have.
2007-06-24 10:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by The Ex Factor 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The original Sonic The Hedgehog game on Sega Megadrive. I played it so much that I could complete the game on a single life in under 15 minutes!
2016-05-19 11:12:14 · answer #6 · answered by robbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should he marry someone he can get for free?
2007-06-24 09:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋