we have a three year old daughter?
2007-06-24 09:35:26 · 24 answers · asked by Robert G 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i want to have another child
2007-06-24 09:44:35 · update #1
it does not have to do with any specific medical concerns
2007-06-24 09:49:35 · update #2
My husband and I have a nine month old daughter whom I stay home with and it is the hardest, most stressful job I've ever had. I know he wants more children, and I really try to talk myself into it for him, but I know that I am not ready, and I don't know if I ever will be. Put her first right now, especially if she stays home. Would you rather have a happy wife/good mommy to one kid or an unhappy wife/bad mommy to two? That is how I put it to my husband and he's leaving it up to me. When my husband doesn't help out a lot I really feel like I would never want to have more kids, as our daughter is so much work. Don't get me wrong, she is my world, but the most important thing to me is being a good mommy and good wife. Think of it like that, and not like she doesn't love you. Have a good talk with her about it and ask her the specifics of not wanting more. Good luck.
2007-06-24 10:17:59 · answer #1 · answered by new SA mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, this question reminds me of that lady in Texas who killed her kids in the bathtub.
Her husband & her family subscribed to a very fundamentalist religion which banned birth control, and she was verbally, physically & sexually abused by her husband... all of these things+ postpardum depression (chemical imbalances in the brain) added up into a mentally unstable woman who was forced into having more children then she was capable of caring for.
I'm not saying you're the equivalent of her Ahole husband, but this question reminds me of him.
You dont list the reasons why she doesnt want to have any more children... (simply that it's not medical is not sufficient for an answer to this question) and the perspective of the question does not seem to take her feelings or life into account as much as your own.
Your partner's mental health, emotions & feelings of respect from you can be equal to & more important than any physical restriction on her body's ability to procreate.
A relationship should be two people making decisions, together. And if you want something she doesnt want, or vice versa, it's important to talk out the reasons on both sides.
If you've talked it out, and you both wont budge from your positions, you may want to seek a mediator or counselor for outside input & a new perspective.
If you're unable to accept her feelings, then you may have to do some soul searching about your ability to be a responsible partner & father.
2007-06-24 09:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but there's more to this story. She either doesn't like being pregnant, wants to give all her attention and love to one child, is worried about money, is insecure in the marriage....something is going on here that you need to discuss in greater detail. Then you need to decide on whether this is a deal breaker for you and move on or wait to see if she changes her mind or decide to be happy with what you have.
2007-06-24 10:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by Lori A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Robert, that is a difficult question that you must answer yourself. If I wanted to have a child, would I stay with a person who did not? Absolutely not. But, I put a great value upon children. You must decide this one for yourself. You need to weigh your desire to remain in your current relationship against your desire for more children.
Good luck! Keep us informed!
2007-06-24 09:56:18 · answer #4 · answered by The Ex Factor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, and you love your kid, why are you even considering leaving them both?
I had only one child....and decided to not have anymore because I both the baby and I almost died during the delivery.
My husband understood and respected my decision because he was there and he SAW everything that happened...my pain, my anguish, the doctors freaking out and all hell breaking loose....and he could do nothing to help out.
She must have good reasons for this...Why don't you talk it over with her???
2007-06-24 09:46:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That depends on the last two words of your question "with you." If that means that she wants more kids with other men, then no I wouldn't stay with her, but she might just not want any more kids. You should both discuss the situation and you need to respect her point of view.
2007-06-24 09:44:27 · answer #6 · answered by schatzi01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
lots too this here....if there were concrete discussions prior to the marriage (im assuming youre married) then there may be means for a breach of contract....otherwise...whats the big deal....do you still love her? I mean, she may change her mind in a couple years.....seems like a silly reason to leave. If you have just the one child, he/she might be better off by getting more attention. My 2cents.
2007-06-24 10:17:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she saying she doesn't want more children, or specifically she doesn't want your children?
A woman is not here to reproduce for you. You aren't the one carrying the baby or giving birth and if she is done with one, then she is done with one. Anyone with any self respect would be satisfied.
However if she is saying she doesn't want kids with you specifically, then get a lawyer your marriage is over.
2007-06-24 09:39:42 · answer #8 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with having one child. Another child must be decided between the two people. If one doesn't want another, that is fine.
2007-06-24 09:45:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If my wife said she didn't want anymore kids I would stay with her, because I love her and she's the mother of our 3 beautiful children we have now.
2007-06-24 10:05:27 · answer #10 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋