My husband and I seperated 5-years ago. He find some chick on the internet. During the 5 years she has talked crap about me in front of my kids. I just don't like her for the simple fact of her being with my husband while we suppose to be working things out. My husband disowned the family for about a year and then finally got in touch with our kids.
My son graduated last thursday, having no control over who goes to the graduation she was there. I had a party yesterday at my house for his graduation and my ex-husband said I was being selfish because she is not welcome in my home. I can not help but have bad feelings when that lady is around me and surely did not want her at my house. And for my son, he does not care about her.
Was I really being selfish or is all of this about my ex-husband not being able to bring his girl friend?
2007-06-24 05:55:29 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Selfish? No. You have EVERY right to keep any unwanted person out of your house. Especially some twit badmouthing you to YOUR children. Also may I ad that your husband is not much of a man if he allows this kind of talk about the woman who bore his children. Just my opinion.
2007-06-24 06:03:02 · answer #1 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not being selfish at. This was your home, your party and your cash so you have the right to have only those individuals to your home that you want to and your ex should respect those wishes. But you need to make those wishes very clear to him and inform him that if he ever violates those wishes, you will force her and him to leave. You are very, very misguided in disliking this woman simply because she was "with" your husband when the two of your were suppose to be working things out. It is clear to me that it is YOUR husband who has the serious character flaws. First, it was your husband who chose to have this babe stay while he was working things out with you. Do you think she had the power to force him? No, he probably asked her to stay. Second, your husband chose to disown his own family. Do you think that any woman in the universe would have enough power to keep a man a way from his own children? No way; HE single-handedly made that self-centered decision . And, third, your husband chose to disrespect your feelings by bringing her over to your home. He's not retarded. He knows damn well that that would upset you. He did it because he's a no good, self-centered creep. And you blame her? Please.
2007-06-24 13:16:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I are going through the same thing, we separated three years ago by we are divorcing soon. My In laws and her family and I have remained close.
I have been dating once in awhile and from day one, I explain if there a family affair I can't bring Her alone. I will not hurt my wife or my children. After the divorce is finally, rules change.
I think your right, no matter what happen in your life when ever you see him w/another women you will always fell hurt. Because you did have good times and there was love at one time and he is the father of your children, but the man has loss respect for your feelings.
2007-06-24 13:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by kidsblondie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
all about the ex husband. It is your house you don't have to have anyone there you are not comfortable with and given the situation, your ex should understand. As long as your son was happy that is all that matters. Who cares what your ex has to say who gave him the right to judge you? Tell him to bugger off and if he don't like the rules in your house he don't have to come to your house either. If you still have kids that you have shared custody with then have him and you drop off and pick up in a natural location, a restaurant close to your home or something. No one should make you feel uncomfortable in your home.
2007-06-24 13:00:18 · answer #4 · answered by justwondering 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you have the ultimate right not to have her in your house - but this is not about that. This is about keeping the peace in the family. (I've been going through basicly the same things) You should just turn a blind eye to her. Even though your son may not care about her, his father does, and if you pitch too much of a fit about things like this then "crap runs downhill" and your son will start blaming you for the uproar in the family.
Even though she does say bad things about you - children are smart. They know who you really are and what you're about - so they will not turn against you - they will just look badly upon her.
Be the bigger person. You do what you know is best for your children and compromise on things that aren't life or death. Good Luck!!!
2007-06-24 13:07:55 · answer #5 · answered by J C 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sometimes its normal to be selfish (everyone is in a certain way, even thought they won't admit), as long as you're not forcing someone to do anything, in this case I think your ex husband is more selfish since he want you to agree on something he want that you don't like, which is bringing her girl to your house, calling you selfish might be his way of manipulating you to give in.
2007-06-26 09:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being selfish, she was his choice not yours, you have the right to say who comes to your house. If he wants to have a party for his son and have her there then do it at his house,. Anyway he should also give his son a party separately from yours so his feelings would not be hurt not your sons. Good Job for not inviting her.
2007-06-24 13:02:04 · answer #7 · answered by peanutbulls 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes descretion is the better part of valor. Your feeling toward this woman are both justified and understandable. The best thing (and also the most difficult) to do is to take the high road. Although you've probably had a fantasy involving her, you and a broken nose (not yours), the best bet is to behave with dignity.
Be curteous and respectful but don't go out of your way to be nice. Do not give her ANYTHING to feed off of and over time things will improve.
Good luck!
2007-06-24 13:01:16 · answer #8 · answered by Ebuddy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all she is not a lady she's a tramp, messin with a married man. You are not being selfish, why would you want her in your home if she says negative things about you in front of your children, she would only bring a negative vibe to your party. Your ex is selfish.
2007-06-24 13:00:08 · answer #9 · answered by c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are not being selfish at all i am kind of going throw the same thing my husband of 11 years a few months ago told me he also wanted a divorce and is now living with a 19year old girl he is always telling me that I'm over reacting
2007-06-24 13:48:02 · answer #10 · answered by big_brat28546 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋