Does my (teen) story sound interesting based on this synopsis & characters? Thanks.?

Question

When parents of students at North Ridge Public High School offer their repeated complaints that the school is impersonal and harsh, the lazy head principal decides to offer group therapy to a small group of students he thinks need it most in order to present a more caring image. As usual, he throws all the work in the hands of his kind but overworked vice principal, Mr. Morrison, who already has more problems than he can handle with a terminally ill father, troubled kids, a job he hates, & a pending divorce with his cheating wife. Of course, the random students recommended for the project are unwilling, uncooperative, and don't get along at all. However, when the six completely different, eccentric teens begin meeting with Mr. Morrison Wednesdays in the old storage room, the group, Morrison included, find that no matter how unlike they are, they can each grow personally and share the common bond that they are human beings with problems that together, they can work towards solving.

Characters.

Mr. Karl Morrison - vice principal; once happy man whose life - from his job to his marriage - is now in shambles. Mr. Morrison is friendly with a good sense of humor, and he relates very well to the teenagers, often talking to them on a level of friendship and ranting about his own problems.

Stan Yeager - sophmore; normal, smart, funny & charming guy who was dragged into the popular scene by his snobby ex-girlfriend, but then dumped coldly to seemingly everyone's amusement but his own. Four months later, he still hasn't gotten over her. To add to his depressive state, Stan's parents are getting a divorce and his college-dropout older sister continously ruins his life.

Brooke Daniels, aka Dark Angel - junior; suicidal and steriotypical gothic girl who claims no one understands her and that she has no friends. Brooke is angry at the world and expresses this with cruel, biting sarcasm that the rest of the dark-sense of humored group finds almost amusing.

Grant Townsend - senior; intelligent, good-looking guy who despite is a self-confirmed low-life. A hippie who has not actually turned in a homework assignment in three months, Grant spends his free time relaxing in his basement while smoking marijuana, playing guitar, and listening to classic rock. Grant is happy, but the school is of course dismayed at a senior with absolutely no career goals.

Cameron Hess - sophmore; extremely popular and pretty girl who has a seemingly perfect life. She's good at cross country and tennis, makes a 4.0, has lots of friends, and is clearly the school's best dressed. However, her happiness is wracked by OCD and anxiety disorder, stemming from her obsession with perfection and high expectations of her parents. Worth noting is her best friend, Zoey, is Stan's snobby ex.

Susanna Carson - junior; dumb blonde, slutty trailer park native who has low self-worth and is pregnant with her worthless boyfriend's baby and watching her life slip down the drain

[Susanna, cnt'd] She's barely bright enough to care, however. To make matters worse, her worthless boyfriend is her second cousin, which was actually to her knowledge. Even the therapy group is shocked at Susanna.

Edwin Wolfe - freshman; a lonely, geeky kid who is obsessed with Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and above all Harry Potter. His daily attire consisting of wire-rimmed glasses, wands, and capes Edwin is the farthest thing from normal at North Ridge High. But the reason he is in therapy is not low self-esteem due to lack of popularity, but the disturbing fact he actually considers himself a wizard.

Answer 1

I like the "voice" in your words, and the premise is interesting. Do you know much about group therapy? For my degree I had to take a class in it and participate as a group member. We only got a pass or fail, but it was the hardest P I ever earned. First big obstacle to a group is trust - what's said in group MUST stay in group.

I do have a question, however, about the vice principal running the group. Is there a counselor at the school? Here, our vice principals are responsible for much of the discipline, and counselors would arrange the groups, work with the academic concerns and help with college information. Just throwing it out there and maybe this is covered in your story. Running a group shouldn't be taken lightly - you said one of the group was suicidal. Nothing to play around with. I know, it's a book, but as I've been around when a student committed suicide and then had other students come to me to tell me they'd thought about it, well, you can understand some nervousness on my part. That's one of the golden rules, too - if someone is threatening to hurt themselves or another, you must tell. Yes, you probably know this, too.

I also LOVE the old storage room. That says much about this, too. How do they get the students to finally participate? Do they meet during school? Will they get a grade? Is it part of their consequences for something?

I think you have some interesting issues with the students as well. I'd be curious about what they learn and how they grow and finally how this all fits in. I don't know if one group being formed would appease me as a parent if I was complaining about the school (sounds like a large school). What happened for the parents to be upset in the first place?

I was also surprised about your pregnant teen and the relationship with the father. Wonder how you'll deal with that. I feel you must already know and I think the tough situation says a lot. When you say she has trouble understanding, does this mean she could be mildly mentally disabled?

Would you consider any of your group having some other type of disability? I know you said one had OCD.

You should keep us posted. You have so many things going on in this question, that I feel sure you're moving along quite nicely. Make sure you hit us over the head first to get our attention. Make us care about these kids at North Ridge, too.

Answer 2

The plotline is universal in a lot of respects but unique enough that each character can have their own voice. Sounds extremely marketable. Actually, your synopsis reminds me a lot of a classic teen flick with a similar theme written and directed by John Hughes called "The Breakfast Club".

I don't know if you've seen this movie or if it served as a basis of inspiration for your story, but if you have not seen it, rent it. Viewing it may provide you with some insight and guidelines into both the inner voice and dialogue of your own characters.

Having said this, I'm unclear whether you intend this for publication or if it's simply for personal enjoyment or for a required assignment.

If you plan on publishing it, may I offer up one suggestion? The story centers on teens, and if you're intending this for a teen audience, (themes can still be realistic and mature to a certain degree) you may want to modify the relationship your pregnant character has with her cousin. That's if you plan to market it because a lot of pre-teens will possibly be interested in such a book. And it possesses the ramifications of publishers rejecting for such a market because adding that detail would spark way too much outrage.

Answer 3

Hmmm, to be honest the characters sound quite similar to basically every teen flick I've ever seen. (Not that that is many, but they were all the same.) Flesh out your characters more, given them a bit of an edge...at the moment they don't sound particularly real to me, more stereotypes.

Your story is really interesting though, and could save your work even if your characters aren't awe inspiring. Original stuff. Remember peoples' opinions are great but just do what you think is best and have fun with it!

Answer 4

Sounds really good. I'd read it. Although maybe if u make one of them someone really good and great and smart with just bad home life that crushes their opportunities and makes them look like trash then a few more people could relate. Just a suggestion though, you've already got enough going for you.

Answer 5

It sounds interesting. Needs more development of course, but you're off to a good start.

Answer 6

sounds pretty interesting. but here's a tip, i've heard that great writers write their endings of their stories first instead of going in a sequence. good luck!

Answer 7

Actually it sounds like a very nice young adult novel. I'd be interested.

Answer 8

I love the idea! Tell me when you get your story published - I'll buy a copy! ;-)

Answer 9

it sounds really interesting....id want to read it