A month ago my friend asked if he could stay for 2 weeks and I agreed. The 2 weeks were hard. He had gotten sick while here and my kids felt really uncomfortable with his temper and attitude. I was as hospitable as possible. I tried to keep my kids out of his way and completely compromised my day to day life for him. He did leave after his 2 week stay(thank god) but he has been coming over nearly everyday to eat,sleep and take over the television! I am a single mother of 2 children and cannot afford to have him eating our food (I actually had to go into savings this month because I have spent over $900 in groceries). If I try and approach this with him,he starts to cry and says he has nothing. Well at this rate neither will me and my kids. I also have alot of his furniture here. I had asked him not to bring it and he did anyways and now I don't know what to do with it! How can I handle this situation???
2007-06-24 04:35:29 · 15 answers · asked by Jellicle Cat 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Kids are always first!! If they are uncomfortable and you need to take special measures in there own home to make them comfortable....that is not acceptable... this is outrageous!!...
you have 2 children you did not want anymore.. 2 kids are expensive enough let him know that you only have enough for the three of you and he needs to find his own means to eat and live.. this is America and there are options that can be implemented... his family was welcome for him to come home... you on the other hand are not his family.. tell him he can use your phone to call the airport or family one last time... you are no longer going to enable or sustain his mooching and temper in your home any longer.. crying and pitty parties are uncalled for and inexcusable.. you are able to cut people like this out of your life this is not someone you want around your kids.. or for that matter yourself
2007-06-24 12:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by mermaidgia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's not so easy because the real problem here is not HIM but YOU.
You have to ask yourself why you are putting up with this.Why don't you stay the course even when he cries?
You have very logical and noble concerns as a reason why this can't continue so you shouldn't let someone like him make you doubt that.
You have to learn to accept that sometimes you hurt people and there is no way around it.You can't always be Misses friendly or everyone will walk all over you.I don't know this person so can't judge bout him but my experience is lot of people who act like him actively seek out individuals like you who feel guilty easily so they can play them.Most likely his tears aren't sincere.
So that's my answer.Stop feeling guilty and do what needs to be done.Tell him this abuse can no longer continue.It's not right for you and for your kids and if he IS honest and sincere,which I doubt, it might very well serve as a wake up call.
You are not responsible to make others feel good.Your first responsibility is to your kids and yourself.You helped him out more than enough.Now it's time for him to take his responsibility
2007-06-24 05:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by justgoodfolk 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, learn from this experience. never invite anyone into your home for a length of time. you'll never no what kind of problems can arise and you have kids that you have to worry about. you are lucky that he left. that being said, it's time to change the locks and tell this man it's over. he is using you and you are allowing it to happen. about his furniture, write him a letter asking him to come and take it away by a certain date you decide and let him know if he doesn't pick it up on the date and time you ask, that you will be disposing of it since you didn't ask for it or want it. then you can do whatever you want with his furniture - but, he should have the option of taking it back on the date and time you decide.
2007-06-24 08:27:04 · answer #3 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough of being nice. Get him out now. You need to think of your kids. If he comes over then tell him you're about to go out, remove the TV and hid it so he doesn't have anything to do, hid your food if he still doesn't get the message, when you dish out meals, DON'T make a plate for him. And yes, sell his furniture and pocket the cash if you're desperate. I know this sounds cruel but he's taking advantage of you and you need to end it now for yours and your kids sake. Please do something about this cause this guy sounds like a wanker. Even call the cops or blatanty ignore the door bell/knock when he arrives even if he's already heard you inside. Hopefully he'll get the message!!!
2007-06-24 04:50:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not your fault hes in this situation, he needs to grow up and get his own life and stop using you as a hotel! Tell him to get a job, go stay with a different friend or family because you have kids and you dont have time for his crap! just because he cries doesnt mean its real he might be just trying to make you feel bad for him to let him keep comming over. If he was your friend he wouldnt be doing that to you and your kids, thats rude and disrespectful. He also may not be a good influince to your family. Hows he getting in? tak away his key and dont let him in if not necessary, he doesnt mind to screw you and be rude so do it back I know 2 wrongs dont make a right but this is at the sake of you and your family, talking to him obviously doesnt work he wants you to feel bad for him thats pitiful! stand up and do what you think is right.
2007-06-24 04:44:34 · answer #5 · answered by babygrl20052000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have children to consider you need to point that out to him and tell him to go and only can come over to see you on your days off from work if you work if you dont say once a week .He was not considerate of you and your family was he you should point that out to him also AND if this crying begins again tell him to leave and not to come back Iknow this is hard how hard depends on your lenght of friendship . But Ive had a lot of experience with "friend leeches" all my life and have found it easier to be without friends
2007-06-24 04:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by Max 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, you need to take a hard line with this moocher. Do it for your kids. Give him a deadline to remove the furniture and change the locks. Tell him you want to help but you need to look out for your own first. You know what you need to do, just be brave enough to step outside the "nice girl" image and do it.
2007-06-24 04:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by ♫ Sweet Honesty ♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to leave NOW. If he refuses you call the police and have him physically removed. Then from now on you do not let him in the door. If he has a key you get the locks changed. You did this to yourself now for the sake of your kids you grow a backbone and do what you need to do.
2007-06-24 04:45:57 · answer #8 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call United Way's 2-1-1 and ask them for help finding a place that you can refer him. You have been more than nice to let him stay for a while but its time for him to find long term help. Don't let his crying influence your decision. He's a grown man. He needs to start acting like one and not sponging off a single mom and her kids.
2007-06-24 04:40:25 · answer #9 · answered by jellybean 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, this loser isn't your friend. And second, its his fault he's in the position he's in. Like what everyone else said, you should keep him out. If worst comes to worst, call the police. I know its hard being nice in a cruel world, but you gotta firm at times. Do it for the kids :)
2007-06-24 05:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by 0carina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋