Why is it amoral in certain eyes not to be monogamous?

Question

How come most religions and a lot of conservatives think that if you have more than one partner you're a bad person? Why do they say that you should wait until marriage for sexual relations? Why does everybody have to be born in wedlock? I can't see myself committing to one person for the rest of my life and even if I could I would probably find it very boring. I'm not saying that if I were in a relationship I would want a billion partners but I would want to feel free to explore other points of interests. Why is this considered such a bad thing? Do you know the answer? Or are you an ultra-conservative that will ***** me out 'till I cry brassafrax?

I'm not talking about a wide selection and then choosing who is right. I'm talking about having more than one relationship and being satisfied even though you're single. Not swinging. And also I'm fully aware about the catholic church and their infringing views but WHY are they like this? P.S. I'm not saying it's wrong to be monogamous, of course I am very liberal and open minded and if you like being with one partner then I feel good for you. But why are conservatives so unlike this, why is there business how I live? And whoever said people with multiple partners are pratically welfare whores and spread diseases that is a stereotype and I don't appreciate it!

Answer 1

Because EVERYBODY knows that the elderly are ALWAYS right, and they in turn were taught conservative values. EVERYBODY knows THAT.

Answer 2

Donot go by the hundreds of standards that have come up now , in the variuos religious beliefs and in the societies and even by law.

Go by what you think and what your conscience says.. Live the way you want to live , so long as you live alone. If you are looking for a relationship find a partner who also thinks the same way. You two will not have any problem.

One act differentiates your male and female friends . Physical relationship.All that you have mantioned above..... common interest, comapanionship whatever you can always have then with your friends and not necessarily with your life partner. But if you and your partner choose to give life to an "individual" you have to think of the yet to be born life. You have to look back and think of yourself in such a position.. someone with no addres , no history of origin , no belonging anywhere ... . If the answer that yuo get is still convincing go ahead and have it.

Answer 3

millions of years of societal values being passed through generations that monogamy is what you're supposed to do. If you want to get into religious things well I think thats a waaaaay bigger question than you're putting forth. Personally I enjoy monogamy for the fact that it makes me feel like I'm important to someone because they would rather be with me than anyone else. I also prefer it because of the way people "explore other interests". i.e. behind your back, putting you at risk for health problems such as STI's, treating you with disrespect in the process.
I'm sure you could find someone who shares your values and want for freedom. There are many people who are "swingers" and have multiple partners or open relationships. Its just something you have to negotiate with someone from the start.
I don't think you will be shunned for it but people will be taken aback sometimes, they may even disagree or try to argue with you about it. Hell some might be outright angry but thats only because they don't understand or are rooted in their beliefs. Its the same as things like racism man. People turn against things they don't understand.
Live your life the way you want and you'll be happy.
I can't go into detail about reasons for people thinking not being monogamous is amoral. I'm just not that smart and not that into research. ;)

Answer 4

You should have more than one partner (using protection, of course) until you find one you'd like to stay with for a long time. The fundamental reason for long-term (not lifetime) monogamy is that it is the best arrangement for bringing up children. So don't drop any kids until you're ready to settle down.

There are some very good reasons why young girls should put off sex until they're in the their twenties. One is that they are emotionally vulnerable. Another is that physically, they are often not equipped to truly enjoy it. A third is that a young girl needs to build self-esteem in many ways, not just in terms of attractivenes to men.

Aside from that, it's no one else's business, no matter what they say.

Answer 5

In the past, one could not accumulate wealth and pass it on. During that time, most religions were polytheistic or maternalistic and it was not very important who was the father of any child. Once grain could be stored and goods were owned and passed down, many tribes became more patrilinial. The only way for a man to know who his children were was for the religion and tribe to enforce monogamy for the woman.

Answer 6

Well, I don't know about other religions but for Jewish and Christianity, it became more of a moral law to be monogamous during Jesus time.

To me, the reason why marriage, monogamy is the higher ideal and a family unit should be encouraged is because it's about love.

A real relationship is made of one major ingredient: love. Love isn't an emotion, a heart fluttering in your stomach, it's a decision, it's a commitment.
We're wired that way. Why else would we feel jealous when we see our special one with someone else? Why do people cry over their ex-es even though they should have been over it? Why do so many people say: He/she is the one?

Too many people get into relationships not because they love somebody but because they feel fuzzy inside, because they want to be loved and appreciated, because they want to get laid, etc. That's not real love, is it?

Even sex has been degraded into a mere physical act. It's more. It's an intimate expression of love and it's the bonding of two beings to create another out of that love. The reason I personally do want to save myself for marriage is because:
a) I want my wife to know that I loved her enough (even before I met her) to keep myself single and emotionally unattached to anyone else so I can give my whole heart, soul and body to her without any baggage.
b) I want her to feel safe with me. I can't impregnate her and then bail out when I don't get along with her. The question then would be why the heck did I get involved in the first place?
c) Marriage is a public declaration that she's my special one and vice-versa.

To your third question, I'm not concerned so much about people being born in wedlock. I'm more concerned in people being born in a healthy family unit. While the meaning "healthy" is relative, it is important for the child to be born in a place where there is (again) love AND commitment, where they have a father and mother figure to look up to and learn from. So many guys and girls grow up afraid to love someone because their own parents tore the knot. Many cry inside when they see kids with the parents they wish they had.

That's the principle. Now socially, why it's encouraged is because the alternative is usually worse. When these ideals aren't upheld, people are encouraged to get into relationships not because of love but because of mere desire.

Families get broken up because, hey, no commitment involved. Teenagers sleep around because, hey, it feels good. Tons of children grow up in broken homes or as orphans. STDs freely spread.
At the very least, people get their hearts broken because they're NOT careful of who they give it to. When you've only got one shot, you choose more carefully than if you could have as many chances as you pleased.
What about polygamy? Look at history, especially the royal families of old and you will see tons of messed up people as a result of the fact.


Now, while this might seem a bit extreme, I hope you see the point. Everyone is free to choose what to do with their lives but I do wish that everyone would treat their hearts and the hearts of others with love and respect, rather than be driven by mere desire.

Answer 7

It's a completely cultural religious idea. It has nothing to do with the human organism's drive to procreate.
Sex for pleasure also has nothing to do with the 'reason' humans have sex.
Sex for pleasure isn't any different than eating beyond physical needs. There really isn't any purpose to it other than experiencing pleasure.
Religious pursuits are exactly the same. Going to church, sazen, temple, etc. is done for the experience of pleasure. Praying, meditating, yoga and all other thought induced 'spiritual' experiences aren't any different than sex for pleasure. The goal is the same.
The person who jumps from belief to belief or church to church for new spiritual experiences is no different that the person who jumps from person to person for sexual experiences. Both are for pleasure.

Monogamy is just a name just as morality is. Neither really exist and neither mean anything to the living organism.

Answer 8

Everybody thinks that how they live their life is the RIGHT WAY. And, most young people start out feeling that they want to experience lots of sex partners. It's normal. Eventually, most people tire of that lifestyle. Their sex drive slowly diminishes and other things become more important to them. That's normal too. As people age, they tend to become more conservative and also start feeling self-righteous and like they are now ready to tell everyone how to live their lives. Believe it or not...you'll probably become one of these old people yourself one day. But...in the meantime, be safe and enjoy.

Answer 9

The rules are there to give you guidance from the wise, do want a disease, do you have feelings-or do you just want some. You don't have to have sex with every girl you see or every girl you befriend. You can be friends with other girls/people and be comitted to a monogamous relationship at the same time!

Answer 10

The Roman Catholic Church clearly condemns polygamy; the Catechism of the Catholic Church lists it in paragraph 2387 under the head "Other offenses against the dignity of marriage" and states that it "is not in accord with the moral law." Also in paragraph 1645 under the head "The Goods and Requirements of Conjugal Love" states "The unity of marriage, distinctly recognized by our Lord, is made clear in the equal personal dignity which must be accorded to man and wife in mutual and unreserved affection. Polygamy is contrary to conjugal love which is undivided and exclusive."

Currently the vast majority of Protestant congregations take the Catholic view on polygamy.

The illegality of polygamy in certain areas creates, according to certain Bible passages, additional arguments against it. Paul of Tarsus writes "submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience" (Romans 13:5), for "the authorities that exist have been established by God." (Romans 13:1) St Peter concurs when he says to "submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right." (1 Peter 2:13,14) Pro-polygamists argue that, as long as polygamists currently do not obtain legal marriage licenses for additional spouses, no enforced laws are being broken any more than when monogamous couples who similarly co-habitate without a marriage license.

Answer 11

From a social perspective, there is nothing more ridiculous that someone with sets of children by multiple partners.

Sleep with whomever you choice, please just don't leave us in the position of having to pay for your choices -- education, health care, housing and so on. It was your choice to have sex, at least have the decency to cover the costs of your own actions.

If you get sick, please have the decency not to infect others with whatever diseases you contract through your behaviour. And if you do, I hope you don't complain that we will have the public health department on you as a threat to the community.

Have fun.