what have i turned in to?

Question

me and my ex split up 5 months ago and he is with a 19 year old girl .
i hurt me at first cause i spent 10 years with this man and he left us 4 a child
now its at the point were i just want him 2 be a dad 2 his kids
and he sould of picked them up yesturday so i could go 2 work so i can still pay the morgage that he as left me with and wont give me any money for my childrens upkeep
and rang me just before i was going 2 work and said i cant have them 2 day sorry
i was angry y did he call sooner so i could get myself an babysitter i got angry and called my sister and she told me that he was in the house with all her friends an her and that he really wernt working i lost it and went around there in the car and smashed his girlfriends car window as he doesnt see his kids no more cause he is only interseted in her and partying /his mum is away on holiday/ so he has all young girls in there. am i going mad should i just finally get away from him as when i was with him he made me sad

Answer 1

Oooh hun... you shouldnt have done that and hopefully they won't press charges, but I can understand why you did it.

Tomorrow morning get yourself an appt with a good solicitor and get the toerag to start paying maintainance etc.

Don't worry about the cost, afterall you may get legal aid and if not tell the solicitor you want to claim costs from your ex... also family solicitors usually give the first hour of advice free.

Don't let him get away with it, why should you and the kids suffer because he's now got some young bimbo on his arm.
Good luck hun

edit!... it doesn't matter if you were married to him or not, he still has to support his kids

Answer 2

Ok, breathe. ....

You don't say what stage you are in with this. Definitely file for Child Support. Go to Family Court, fill out the paperwork, turn it in, ask for a copy, and be there for your court date. You do not need a lawyer.

Second, apply for subsidized daycare and quit depending on him, period.

Apply for WIC, or food stamps.

Take control. He is not going to be responsible, ok. So now you're driving.

When you go for custody, ask for shared parenting. **See link below. Ask the courts to grant equal access to the children on a weekly, bi-monthly or monthly basis. This is hard. Take your kids into consideration. Do a little extra research, and remember, you can't do it all alone. They don't need one burned out parent and one non existent parent (ie: visitation 4 days per month, optional, unenforceable.) And you will burn out, dear.

So, request shared parenting on a level you can handle. Buy a calendar or shared parenting program, list the kids activities, and give it to him.

There will never be a better time for Dad to learn to be a father. Start now, and you'll survive better in the long run.

The kids will appreciate not being the kid in class who says, "My Dad was supposed to come Saturday, but he never showed." They'll be the ones seeing mom and dad on a regular, equal basis. It can be done.

This program also cuts down on "he was in the house with all her friends and not really working." He will have to maintain a home, groceries, housekeeping, and a job for when the kids are at his place. It's a huge lesson in responsibility. Let him learn it.

So get proactive with your situation. Do not have conversation with him. Especially if it just ends up in a fight. You don't need to waste your energy. You have a job, kids, and a couple of court dates to get to.

Eat nutritious meals, take a multi-vitamin daily, get enough sleep and do what you have to do in a day. Without sparing a thought for him. Go to court and let the chips fall where they may. At least you'll know you had the character to do the right thing, even if he doesn't.

Answer 3

First utilize the court system to make him take care of his responsibilities. Second, realize you cannot continue doing destructive things like breaking someones car window because then your children won't have a mom or a dad because you will be in jail. Rise above the fact that you are dealing with a selfish jackass and be the bigger person. Move on with your life but use the judicial system to make him take care of his kids. The best revenge is doing better without him than you ever did with him.

Answer 4

Calm down, you are way too angry to be of any help to yourself or anyone.

You are too caught trying to hit back at he /they who hurt you and your kids, instead of trying to help yourself.

Take a deep breath and realise that all women regardless of the age can attract and satisfy the man of their choice.

Being younger just means you may be less experienced and maybe a little fresher in your worldview: physically and otherwise.

Try to figure ,why your man left. What is it that you are not satisfying. It just may be that his value system is different from your yours. You cannot change. Put yourself together and stop belittling yourself .

Give yourself ,the love you now deserves.

Answer 5

turn Ons: i like a guy with great hair that i will run my hands via, and somebody sensible, and that stands for some thing yet in an understated, humble way. i like a guy which could postpone his end of the communique, yet nevertheless cares sufficient to ask how my day went. turn Offs: Promise breakers, selfishness, and adult men that are in simple terms thoughtless. Heavy drinkers, self pityers, and those with fondness for strip bars are additionally on the main superb of my "yuck" record.

Answer 6

Screw him. It is about the kids now. Don't let him get the better of you. Remind yourself that the kids come first, don't show him that you are angry, even if you are, be stable and steady and get over this piece of crap.

Answer 7

Citizens Advice Bureau for free advice on how to sort out this mess

Answer 8

you need to get away from him obviously he doesnt want nothing to do with his kids.You need to take him to court get childsupport from him.And i would try to get food stamps or something if you dont make enough moeny to try to survive.Im sorry to hear you are going threw this i hope everything gets better with you.Juts leave him alone you deserve better than that pig.

Answer 9

Go after him for child support. If you were married, get a lawyer. If you weren't married, you made a stupid mistake.

Answer 10

Yes, get right away from him. He is unhealthy for you and your children.
Report him to social services for not paying his dues!!!