Why do we judge and moan before actually understanding?

Question

Why do people always see what they want to see? A basic example: If someone has a family to look after and has to strive like mad to feed this family and they can't do little favours as they don't have time. What's wrong with that? Why do we think twice before actually paying them because they didn't do that little favour we asked?
My point is, why don't we take time to talk and know people and help them out instead of mistrusting those people? Why don't we communicate and try to know each other and understand? Why not be compassionate?! Why do we always complain about our own lives when it's nothing compared to some starving children in the middle of a desert? Why?

Thank you for the first three answers! And thank you to some of you who proved to me that actually some 'philosophers' on Y!A don't really know what they're talking about. How can you possibly compare your life to a starving child or person or anyone else living in this awful misery!! I'm just disgusted! You know what else; you say you don't have time for your family so how come you are on Y!A? Why don't you use this time and spend it with your family? Maybe that will save you from moaning!!!!!! Next time don't even bother answering if you are going to tell me that your life is similar to a starving child!!!! How low can peole get???!!! No seriously!!! If I got carried away; I deeply appologise but some peole got on my NERVES!! :-(
I'm sorry! :-)

Hey Mark. First of all thanks for your answer to my previous question (it was lovely) and another Thanks for making me smile yet again! :-) I really love people like you who can always be so cheerful! I know I ask sad questions but that's why you're here to make me happy again! :-)
My best wishes to U! U're a great friend, thanks! Take care! :-)

Answer 1

Bravo! Bravo!

Firstly,
On the extra details well said. How anybody can actually liken themselves to a starving child, is beyond me!

Unless you have experienced poverty, comparing yourself in that way, is just very selfish!

We are living worlds apart..I mean, hello, we are sitting on YA connecting with people from all around the world.

There are so many children out there that have never been to school, never seen a fridge or a computer! The few people that they have met have probably been in a 2 minute walking range!

Believe me, I have seen legless people, mothers cradling babies on the streets, blind children begging for pennies...I have seen some of the worst!

The difference between seeing it on the television and for real is something overwhelming! On the television you may see, but you don't really feel.

A lot of confrontations and arguments are due to lack of understanding! Its easy to jump to conclusions. Frankly, it can be a whole lot easier to judge others than it is to judge yourself.

If you want to be understood, accepted and treated well - you have to do the same for others. How can you possibly expect to understand somebody without having a proper conversation with them? Without giving them a chance?

People should understand that if we all loved each other like brothers and sisters and cared for each other, it would be easier for everybody. If we united we could be happy, everybody could be happy!

But some people don't care about others - they see making others unhappy as the shortcut to finding happiness for themselves! We could all teach each other something.

Thanks KT,
Take Care!

Answer 2

Hey KT, now I've got a concern for you AND your question, and that's two different things.
Can I just start with you and say that my impression of you is that there is a place in the world for your passion and empathetic sadness. But I hope at the same time that the empathy you feel (which is rare, in my view) doesn't undermine your strength, and that you surround yourself with strong supportive people- who can also help you manifest a shared hope or vision. It would be kind of sad to see that passion fizzle into a weary disillusionment or cynicism.

I thought Wonder Will's answer to your question was right on target. It's difficult not to moan and judge, as the world seems ever more complex, perhaps the paradox being that as we think more globally, the boundaries seem to tighten ever more around ourselves and our beliefs.
Anyway KT, I commend you for your questions. :)
(only hitching a ride on Wonder Will's answer).

Answer 3

I don't follow your examples.

Whose family is he looking after? His own or someone else's?
Why would you pay someone to look after your family, whether they do favors or not? Do you mean a babysitter?
Why is this an example of judging and moaning. It's more like an example of exploiting a babysitter. There are terms that both parties must agree to. But you have to pay the babysitter, or they will tell you to jump in the lake the next time your kids need to be watched.
Your other points are a totally different topic.
Why would you trust someone when they could be a thug , drug addict, rapist, thief, or carrying a filthy disease. You have to take care of yourself , and keep strangers away. This stuff is taught in elementary school for goodness sakes !
As for people starving in the desert - people need to stop having sex in the desert. That will solve a lot of problems, within 9 months.

Answer 4

Most people are just to consumed with themselves, it is always all about them. Some have such low self esteem that the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others smaller. I am afraid my dear, that most people are so busy looking at themselves they can not see anyone else. All you need do is read the paper & watch the news to see this is true. You will learn that you just will have to listen to your own truth sense & get your assurances from your own convictions because it is unlikely you will find it out there. Now, with that said, there are the few that have been able to rise above that "its all about me attitude" & have an expanded & inspired view of themselves & others. So, I guess the lesson is pick your friends well, & learn to pick your battles well also.

Answer 5

Hon, this is what created Philosophy to start with. We have to wonder, and this wonder causes us to search for answers, this defines philosophy!
*We are being controlled, our taxes are so high they strip our checks dry each week. We are made to stay away from our families and loved ones so long in the 40+hour work week, we become weakened from the load we bare. In everyones heart, we wish for this to be different, to able to be at home more and care for our loved ones.
*Are we not starved as well? Are we not like lost children in the desert, looking for substance? Are we not given only a tablespoon of water per a 75 mile trek? If we can get our lives back, we could help these others as well. We're human, and we see these things, but are held back. We are not lacking in compassion, we are being held back from being able to use our compassions.

Answer 6

This is a good point that frequently gets forgotten. But why? It is because humans, with prejudices and all, are emotional creatures, placed in a world pervaded with assumptions and doubts. Humans make use of a frontal vision that relays incomplete information, and many forget this fact, leaping to asinine conclusions. It's unfortunate.. but it is fact. Humans base most of their knowledge on surface appearances, and make assumptions (like, will this command carry out?). Things CAN go wrong, it is just that people forget this and "blow their top."

*shrug* it is the way of the world, as unfortunate as it is..

Answer 7

We are not honest with ourselves and others open to new possibillities and willing to try something new, we close our minds to anything that doesn't fit our view of life and then bombard and attack anything that is not alike what we think ought to be. We all have thoughts that tells us lies about ourselves and few are willing to dig down deep and say, I am hidding something good and terrible in me but I must do a self examinaton to determine what is it that is truly know good, take these things out by the root and destroy them. Then I can let my judgement have mercy and grace delivering truth in kindness and love and tact with all hope of time complete the process of the seed i delivered.

Answer 8

certainly, the internet has certainly made me extra knowledgeable in wrestling. I come for the period of issues that i myself did not be attentive to concerning the early days of the WWF, WCW, NWA, etc. i be attentive to there are spoiler sites obtainable yet I attempt to not seem at them so it does not fairly worry me. because of the internet, i will locate suits from different promotions or the early suits from the old days that I neglected while i grow to be a infant. So all in all, the internet has helped me be a extra robust wrestling fan fairly than harm me. -Quote the Raven...Nevermore

Answer 9

KT,why are you asking only sad questions?I appreciate you a lot,I`ve seen your answers and I`ve read your comments on me,you said "positivism" or something like that and you said you liked it.Come on KT,a smile for me...
and a rose for you @}`--- ---
and here we have a happy girl 8:)3)=...
e-mail me,please
`

Answer 10

some people are just made that way, or get in that habit, i dont understand it either, and it actually can often be irritating, its like they dont have a perspective on real reality