i got pregnant last july, baby is 3 months old now, my husband has not been intrested in sex for around 11 months, i was not bothered at first with being tied etc with having the new baby now baby nearly sleeping through so im not as tied i want my sex life back i have taked to my hubby he says nothing is wrong he still loves me he feels ok as it is ???? also i have 2 teenage sons which makes it even harder to get my sex life on track you know that one oh no mum & dad dont do that anymore im getting really un happy about this any ideas out there for me.
2007-06-24 03:31:01 · 25 answers · asked by HEATHER L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dont upset yourself thinking it is another woman, your baby is only 3 months old still young, my bf can take it or leave it , it is married life. I dont think we did it for about a 7 months after my son was born. Come on you know your hubby do you really think he is having an affair
2007-06-24 03:39:40 · answer #1 · answered by 5200jenniferg 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't assume that he is having an affair. Perhaps your husband is not seeing you as he did before you had the baby - I know you have two other children (together? - sorry I am not being rude when I ask this but you said I rather than we have two teenage sons). Some men look at the wife after they have had a child as a mother more then a lover. Perhaps it could be because you haven't no had sex for a while he has gone off the boil and just needs "warming up" again!. Hubby says there is nothing wrong but have you pushed him further on this - ask him outright why he does not seem interested in sex. How does he behave if you try and instigate sex?I have two friends who have not had sex with their husbands for years (one 4 and the other one 7)and it is down to the man not the woman. Otherwise their marriages are very happy - in both cases, something triggered this event but the issue wasn't dealt and things just drifted. Now, it is almost impossible to go back and so they carry on and accept this side of the relationship is out or order if you like. I know some people will suggest that he is sleeping with someone else and maybe eventually you will have to rule this out however, life is not as simple as that - sometimes the are other reasons. Good luck with sorting this out.
2007-06-24 10:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Heather, you've given it enough time. I do need to ask one thing. One of the big problems I had was that my wife gained 50 + pounds during her pregnancy. I married a dream boat, and she turned in to a tug boat! lol I love her still, and our sex life is much better, but she is very distraught about the 100 lbs. that she has put on even after the delivery! Don't let that weight creep up on you. It's easy to gain, practically impossible to lose! If you are fit and trim, then well... if you got it, flaunt it! Guys are human, we see sexy and our minds drop to a pont directly behind our zippers!
2007-06-24 11:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont want to sound negative,but this is a bad situation.Your husband is obviously going through something.It seems that he doesnt really want to open up to you.Playing devils advocate-he may be having an affair-but we dont know for certain!We could be totally off course in thinking that way.I think you need to dig a little deeper and find out more.Maybe suggest marriage councelling to him?Or just ask him straight out what the problem is as you are not happy-and that's not the way a mariage should be.
2007-06-24 10:40:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know a couple in their 40's who haven't had sex for 5 years. It's easy to get into the habit of not having sex, especially with kids around. They have 3! He works nights, she works days and they seem to have accepted a celibate lifestyle. I hope you sort it out.
2007-06-24 10:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by Pixxxie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
11 MONTHS IS A LONG TIME. I CAN UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT SOME MEN ARE TURNED OFF FROM SEX. AND YOU HAVE THAT WHOLE 6 WEEK WAITING PERIOD.
I WOULD INITIATE A ROMANTIC NIGHT WITH JUST THE TWO OF YOU. HAVE TEENAGERS SPEND THE NIGHT WITH FRIENDS, SEND THE BABY TO TRUSTED RELATIVE, AND JUST MAKE A ROMANTIC EVENING FOR TWO.
NOT JUST TO HAVE SEX, BUT TO GIVE HIM THE ATTENTION HE WANTS. IT IS FUNNY, BUT MEN HAVE THIS CHILD LIKE ATTITUDE OF WANTING TO BE FIRST AND HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION JUST LIKE THE TEENS AND BABY.
MAYBE THERE ARE SOME OTHER STRESSFUL MATTERS IN YOUR LIFE LIKE A LOSS OF JOB, BEHIND ON BILLS, OR SIMPLY BEING OVERWHELMED WITH THE RESPONSIBILITY OF PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY.
ENCOURAGE HIM, HUG HIM, DO SOMETHING TO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU TWO ARE A TEAM WORKING TOGETHER.
2007-06-24 11:06:28 · answer #6 · answered by karMA_DAME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can a guy really last 11 months without sex? You need to talk to him and tell him that it is important to get connected again. Maybe a nite off from kids to reconnect to each other?
2007-06-24 12:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by Never fear, for I is here....... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he has a hard time seperating the 2 roles that you fill 1 being the mother of his children and 2 being the woman he married. Mention this to him and see how he responds.
My husband and I went through this after the birth of our last child. It helped scheduling time out and away from the baby, CONSISTENTLY. Not one date and all was well. We had to routinely go out and be husband and wife and not mom and dad.
Good luck!
2007-06-24 10:37:01 · answer #8 · answered by blondbrainserenity 4 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You definitely need to get him to open up and tell you the truth. It's not normal for a man not to want sex. There's definitely something going on!
2007-06-24 10:58:03 · answer #9 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to send the two off for yall a honeymoon. Learn to take time and have dates to spend you time together. Sometimes when one will spend the night off ask the other if he would like to go somewhere too. Got a friend or your grandparents?
2007-06-24 10:37:31 · answer #10 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋