We were on a family vacation and she met this local boy there..He is 2 years older than her..I let her go and hang out with him a couple of times and he seems really nice. Now she has it in her mind that she is going back next weekend to see him.. Maybe it is the overprotective mother coming out of me but I am just worried over this..All I can think of is the Natalie Holloway story..but she is 20 years old and views this as another road trip...thoughts please??
2007-06-24 03:11:16 · 14 answers · asked by transcriberchick63 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No there are no friends to go with her :(
2007-06-27 13:30:41 · update #1
Yes, I think she is 20 years old. If she is old enough to vote for the President of the United States, she is old enough to decide whether to go see a guy or not.
There are plenty of young ladies who have taken road trips and DIDN'T end up in Natalie Holloway's situation.
If it makes you feel any better, insure you have a way to stay in contact with her. Give her a specified time to call you daily, or, you call her at a specified time daily. Let her know how worried you are, but, please, don't try to be overbearing. That only leads to rebellion. She is an adult. If you let her behave as an adult, she WILL behave as an adult.
2007-06-24 03:18:34 · answer #1 · answered by Daniel R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make her answer theses questions, is he a local guy, or did he move there for the summer for a series of hookups with vacationing girls? is he in college? does he work or have a summer mcjob? Myrtle Beach ( nothing against you personally) is a working man's florida. less affluent, small town people go there for a bright lights big city vacation that is easier on the pocket book. people can forget their sensibilities after a night of listening to Alabama! yes im being stereotypical, and i dont mean it to be mean, but its a party town and has some rough spots that i wouldn't want to go.
my opinion is, if he is such a great guy, he would road trip to come see her. if she is chasing him, then he is just going to break her heart. he's not that into her, but he is willing to have her for a weekend. not exactly a "nice guy"
now, if she is going with friends, she is looking for a good time without the parents. just remind her that she is still underage for drinking.
if you can't talk her out of going, be an adult, and have an adult comversation with your daughter, who isn't a little girl, and make sure she brings condoms with her. (some stuff dosent wash off)
2007-06-24 10:47:03 · answer #2 · answered by wilrycar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I work in a prison, your instincts are good. We dont live in the kind of place where a young, pretty girl can travel alone anymore. period.
That being said, all you can do is express your opinions with the utmost respect for your position and her right to decide to do otherwise----but you still get to express it. Look for some compromise and use your leverage (usually cash). For my daughter I offered to help with expenses if she was traveling with a friend....if not, I wouldnt support the effort.....and when she found out exactly what it was going to cost...she changed her plans (but I think it was because I was doing a whole lot of praying not any manipulation of mine). The things you taught her when she was little will kick in. Request an itinerary and daily checkins---I use a rule of 12/12. So long as they live under my roof I get a call at midnight and at noon...its so ez to remember. You can pull the "if you live here you dont travel alone" card...but you have to be prepared for her to decide to move out (on an ugly note). So I only pull that card when they are breaking house rules that matter.....you can only decide which they are.
2007-06-24 10:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why don't you suggest she bring along a friend?
Just because he's in Myrtle Beach doesn't make it any less dangerous than if she met a boy in the area where you live and wanted to go on a date.
2007-06-27 17:41:06 · answer #4 · answered by Lainie L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a unoverbearing way ask her expectations from this. If she can afford to do this on her own then she must know responsibility. Tell her to be safe a call you for any problems and just regular anyway. She has to live and learn. She is twenty just give a little advice.
2007-06-24 10:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by ronnny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be very concerned and i would not allow her to go if it were my daughter.
if she has only spent this little of a time with him how would you or anyone know anything abut him really. lots of seemingly nice guys put on huge acts to rope in young innocernt girls and too many just do disappearbor end up found but no longer living! you cannot hold on to her forever , its true , but twenty is still pretty young and impressionable and iff shes still under your control living at home you have a right to expect compliance from her.
maybe you could suggest this young man could spend time with your family first and and stay nearby but allow her some freedom and privacy yet be available and norticable to him so he knows she is being looked over and not totally on her own with him. she can get more booyfriends for many years up ahead when shes more matture and has better judgement however you cannot get back your beautiful young daughter ever again if something should happen mom!
2007-06-24 10:22:09 · answer #6 · answered by silkcurtin 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Congratulations Grandma!
2007-06-24 10:17:17 · answer #7 · answered by whirled_queen 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
well you can't stop her,but you can exlplain to her how you feel,and how anxious you are. ask her to agree to keep her cell phone on at all times,and to call you every day to say she is ok. encourage her to keep safe at all times,stick to busy routes,atc,don't drive alone in unsafe areas. i am sure she will be fine.. in the UK 18 year olds go travelling the world on their gap year,it is a part of growing up.she will be fine!
2007-06-24 10:23:03 · answer #8 · answered by scorpio_queen_2003 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is 20 years old. She is an adult and is old enough to make her own decisions. You really can not and should not try to stop her.
2007-06-24 10:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by pisceswoman87 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you definitely have a right to be worried. as much as we wanna tell ourselves and actually believe that nothing will happen..that's not always the case. tell her to take a friend or a few friends and a pocket knife or stun gun or something! good luck!
2007-06-24 10:18:53 · answer #10 · answered by Brittany N 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋