my soon to be ex played the perfect person on the outside. bible studied, said she believed in god, went to church, volunteered, works in a helping profession with kids but....and this is a big but...behind closed doors she was the nastiest person i've ever met. no one would ever believe it on the outside. i heard more foul mouth garbage and was subjected to her throwing things at me and abuse behind closed doors. so was her daughter and my kids. she hated her mother because she said her mother tried to be perfect to the rest of the world and yelled and dragged her through the house by her hair when she was a little girl. she became what she hated and she didn't even know it. anybody else married to someone like that? wasn't it hard to convince people afterwards that they were like that? nobody believes you. then they always play the victim. it was the most frustrating thing in my whole life to go through. anybody else?
2007-06-24 02:52:43 · 8 answers · asked by golf4everdude 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you have to convince anyone. God will show people her true colors in time. All you need to worry about is bringing peace back into your life and getting past all of this.
She has her own issues to deal with. They are not yours anymore. You don't need to convince anyone how she was... you KNOW how she was and you KNOW it was not healthy.
People always feel like they have to justify themselves to others. You don't have to justify yourself to anyone but you and God.
Best of luck!
2007-06-24 03:10:56 · answer #1 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there done that! My ex was a Bible college graduate. Evil doesn't begin to describe her now. She married because some little girl at the school she was teaching at called her an "old maid". (I learned this after the 4th year of marriage) She figured that if she had a child or two then no one could call her that again. How sick is that? Anyway, we lasted 5 years, I did everything to make this relationship work. Your wife is the same as my ex! She is in a marriage that she doesn't want, so, she will make life miserable for you until you divorce her. I refused to divorce seeing as that was against my personal beliefs. So, seeing she had no way out, she divorced me, the Christian faith she held, and became the most bitter person I've ever met. (I got custody of the children) Listen, I'm going to give you the best advice I had ever been given regarding a person like this. During your divorce, don't be a nice guy!!!! I mean you have to do what is required, but don't give an inch further! Mine tried to make me out to be a monster. Lies meant nothing to her. To her "the end justifies the means". Never, never, ever relinquish command of anything you can hold onto. Damn, I could write a book on this but, if you want any more info e-mail me! I will gladly steer you in the correct path!
2007-06-24 10:10:42 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my first husband was like that, he would hit me and hurt me and everytime i asked for help from his family they were always like "our son is not like that, he is perfect" It took alot to convince people. I had to take pictures of my house all messed up and of my bruises. I was in the military during the time. But one time I came home to my house totaly trashed, christams tree on the other side of the room presents all messed up and i quickly left and got an NCO and let them see what i was going through because no one actually believed me. Soon after I had evidence and was able to show his family thats when they started to believe. So I suggest taking pictures or after she messes up the house invite someone over and let them witness the mess. It might help you!
2007-06-24 10:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by majesticgirl85 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like behavior she learned from her mom. People don't want to accept it, but kids pick up alot from their parents, and then people are surprised when kids end up doing the same things as their parents did.
I grew up in a house where my mom was a perfectionist, and I rebelled because that's just not how I am. And I refuse to expect my kids to be perfect.
2007-06-24 10:03:54 · answer #4 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! Its very hard to grow up in a home like that, and some woman become there mothers, i am going through that now with myself, my mother is a nut case, but i am trying to be better for myself, i dont want to be like she was to me.......its hard but it is up to that person to change it. its called a show, when she is outside in the public eye she protreys herself to be a wonderful woman but behind closed doors she becomes the hypocrit and liar. its very hard to get through that and no one will believe you, when i tell people the way my mother is they all look at my like i am the one who is nuts because she put on this #1 mom play for everyone to see.....get out of that, and your poor children they dont need to be subjected to that.....god help your wife, she needs some help and she might be beyond it.....good luck
2007-06-24 09:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by jelly_bean_19_69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like Bree from desperate housewives, I don't know if you watch that show, lol.
But she wants other families to think that her family and that her life is perfect and nothing is wrong so people won't bother her.
2007-06-24 09:58:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it hard to say divorce. If they do not want to believe then they can believ that we just can not get along together anymore. Does not matter move on to where you can be happy.
2007-06-24 10:40:50 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds so familiar to me, thank goodness you are getting out of this marriage.
2007-06-24 10:41:46 · answer #8 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋