Should a father be punished for showing his children child support records that show he was always current?

Question

The mother tells the children she cannot afford things they want because their father is not paying his child support. He finally got tired of it, requested a print out from child support enforcement and showed it to the children. He has never been behind.

For doing that, she filed a restraining order on him, along with request for supervised vistation, at $80 an hour. It was granted on the grounds that he had abused their mother by harming her relationship with the children.

Do you agree?

Note: He was turned down for a similar restraing order, and paying an attorney to try to file a motion to bar her was estimated to cost $15,000 and would have taken 2+ years to get a hearing.

This is not my case. It is a case that was referred to the organization.

Note: Restraing Orders are usually Pro Se, so no attorneys for either side.

Answer 1

now that was really messed up! he should not have been punished for showing his kids that his name have been slandered! but you know whats gonna happen in the end? those kids are gonna despise their mother for being so hateful. he abused their mom by harming her relationship? what is she doing by telling them he's a dead beat? that makes a child feel the dad doesnt care enuff for them by making sure they have a place to stay, food to eat, and utilities on so they can see, bathe and so forth. thats a double standard!

Answer 2

I think the Mother was clearly wrong for lying, and trying to damage the relationship with his children.

All that aside, I also believe the Father was wrong for printing out these statements. I'm sure it was done out of frustration/anger/hurt, etc.

What I would have suggested is that the Father sit down with the kids, in the presence of the Mother and say, "The kids told me that you have told them this...."

This way, the kids know the Mom is lying, and if the kids were making the story up, the Mom knows. Either way, the issue gets confronted on the spot.

And the Father could even say something to the Mom like, "I am sure the kids must have misunderstood you, but they are under the impression that I haven't been making my payments."

The Mother would be left in a position to admit lying to the kids, and the Father comes out smelling like roses.

Hire a good attorney.

Answer 3

I think the mother should be the one in trouble for lying to her children and hurting their relationship with their father. She didn't get them the things they needed because she is lazy and selfish. He had every right to let them know the truth. She is a bad mother and he should be the one with custody. There are so many good decent fathers that are trying and do take care of their kids and pay their support that end up getting screwed my a corrupt system that automatically favors the mother at any cost and not matter if she is in the wrong or not. That woman is just being vindictive because she is angry that she was caught in a lie. She should be punished and the judge that pushed the restraining order and supervised visitation through should be disbarred and removed from the bench.

Answer 4

If you are telling the whole story she sounds like she is retaliating because she has been caught lying to you. Why on earth would she want to keep her kids from their father just because he is defending himself? I think she sounds like she is not putting the best interest of her children first, she is more concerned with herself. The fact that you were never late or missed a payment and she told the kids you were is horrrible. I am sorry for all the guys dealing with this issue no matter what ever happened between my husband and I the kids will never have to feel that way. Every time a parent bad mouths the other parent they are really bad mouthing their kids as well.

Answer 5

Sounds like the kids are in the middle of all this crap... When they get older they will know the truth.. I think what the dad didwas ok but some dads get away with little child support and these days dont get very far... my sister gets $150 for one child what will that really do.. the mother was wrong in saying he dont pay if he has never been behind... the mom needs to be sued for slander

Answer 6

Wow, she sure knows how to put the screws to him. No pun intended! All I can say is that although there are a lot of parents out there who like to play games with their exs where the kids are concerned, the children don't stay young forever. Children are curious little poeple and they learn and watch more about what goes on in their worlds than most Adults give them credit for. I know this man is hurting but just know that it won't last forever and the fact that he has taken care of his children over the years speaks VOLUMES. Give the children a chance, they will come around! And remember what goes around comes around so the lady best beware

Answer 7

as a woman i don't agree. the mother damaged the relationship the children have with their father first by saying he is a deadbeat.

before or without showing the children the records, maybe the father could have gone to court to show that the mother was trying to damage the father/child relationship with her words. the mother seem despicable.

unfortunately courts usually lean in favor of a woman even when she is wrong.

I hope it works out for the father. For once, it would be nice to see something work out for a decent father.

Answer 8

the problem was not the father but the mother,she was lying to her children,the father only told the truth,but like in many divorce cases and family courts the men always get screwed.for years i had to go through the agony of lies,by my ex,and the judge did nothing,the judge was later disbarred for sexual harassment against 45 women,that tells the story,most family courts are run by women that hate men.the mother should have never gotten the children involved,later on she is going to feel sorry,children should never be put in the middle,parents have to find a way of getting along,unless they want to damage the children for ever.

Answer 9

I'm for the father. The mother is wrong. The kids should not even have to worry wether or not dad is paying child support but I don't blame him for proving it to them. She is trying to hurt him through the children now i think that is a form of mental abuse. Probably why they are not together anymore anyway.

Answer 10

Sue for custody of the children. As a non custodial parent, you're at a disadvantage, and it's completely unacceptable for the mother to blame the inequities of life on the father and lie about him at that. However, it was a mistake for the father to show proof of his innocence to the kids. It should be shown to the judge. The children are being lied to and manipulated in a petty struggle between adults who should know better. It would be best to get them out of that atmosphere and into a caring, nurturing environment.