how do you get past all the HATE you have for your ex husband?

Question

my ex left me at 7 months pregnant for a 17yr old high school girl. he put me and my family threw hell and i have spent $1000.00's of $ on him to take him to court because he didnt want to pay child support.
Now...everyday i wish for something bad to happen to my ex husband. he is a terrible person and i feel he shouldn't live. i hate his very being. all the love i had for him turned into hate. why cant i just realize what a piece of sh*t he was/is and move on! he really is a pathetic dead beat why cant i keep that in my head!

Im not saying i would ever harm him, i just constantly fantasize about a fatal car accident he could be in!

Answer 1

YOU GET PAST BY 'FORGIVING HIM AND MOVE ON'; REALIZING THAT HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR HATRED OR THE 'ENERGY' TO DO SO.

YES, we are raised to 'get even' and feel better by society; however, I would remind you that your disdane for him is only going to keep you filled with hurt and possibly illness if you keep allowing it to pervail. I chose to pray for my hubby~~he got 3 women pregnant in our 13 year marriage~I asked God to work on him to be what HE would have him to be.

Being religous, I was able to leave the hate on the shoulders of God, because I was consummed with hurt all the time..I had no life everytime I thought of him, someone spoke of him, or anything came up about him. I BECAME MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY SICK AT THE SIGHT OF HIM!

I CHOSE TO LET GO AND ''LIVE''. When I got a divorce, finally, I celebrated with a good-male friend and Brother and his wife, by getting a limosine and we drank champaign and wine all the way to dinner, out of town. I CHOSE TO BE HAPPY! I CHOSE TO LIVE AND NOT HATE! I CHOSE TO USE MY ENERGY DOING THE THINGS THAT WERE BENEFICIAL TO MY WELL BEING...GOOD FRIENDS AND GOOD FOOD.

NOW, YOU CHOOSE. Take long baths with wine/cheese. Exercise your body and your mind~~read some good books!
Surround yourself with people who 'really' care about you. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY AND YOU WILL BE; BUT, FIRST YOU MUST LET GO OF THE HATE.

YOU KNOW HE'S A JERK. HE KNOWS HE'S A JERK. I WOULD NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR LOVING SOMEONE, ONLY FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BEING A POOR JUDGE OF CHARACTER. IT WAS A LEARNING LESSON, IT IS OVER, HE HAS BEEN DISMISSSED, MOVE ON TO OTHER GREAT THINGS WAITING FOR YOU IN LIFE. GOOD LUCK

Answer 2

Your ex is the affection of your life? No ask your self your husband is offended. i do no longer blame him. seems such as you ought to break up and spend it sluggish determining what you fairly need. You emotionally cheated on your husband and it style of seems such as you do no longer even comprehend you have accomplished some thing incorrect. you do no longer deserve the two guy. you have ruined your life, your ex's life, his spouse's and your husbands. you quite should not be in a courting in any respect authentic now. And having an affair with a married guy? you have extra undesirable karma coming for particular. you're a yucky individual.

Answer 3

I have an ex who did everything from lying and cheating to stealing my jewelry to pawn to hit me.(The jewelry he pawned was a necklace that my grandpa left to me in his will). I hated that man beyond imagining. I, too, fantasized about my ex husband's death via accident at work or while driving.

I finally leave him and I remarry to a wonderful man. I realized that hate was almost as much of a bond as love and knowing that helped me to let go of the hate.

I also kept in mind karma. Everything did come back to him,too. He is now broke, living in a horrible apartment and married to a rather heavy girl who writes and speaks like a 3 year old.

He had gallbladder problems and had to have it removed in emergency surgery. Two months after that, he felt ill, went into emergency and was told he is a diabetic. His diabetes is not under control and he is in and out of the hospital.

He moved out of state, completely abandoned our two girls, doesn't pay support at all and he suddenly rips his arm open on a car he was "fixing" and does permanent nerve damage. He now had less than full use of his left arm, his dominant hand no less.

Now, I realize it sounds mean, but I think this is him getting from the Universe what he deserves and I don't feel sorry for him.

To the Asker, don't worry, your ex will get his comeuppance.

To everyone else, think before you act because it really does all come back to you in the end.

Answer 4

I understand your bitterness.......at some point you will have to forgive him regardless.
TIME will be the only key to all this.
It was probably 6 months after it was all over before I started noticing some mental relief, but you must push forward to get results. Wallowing in a sea of pain and guilt and anger is hurting no one except you and your innocent child.
Your own life will be miserable and in shambles until you get the emotional strength to move on.
Do it for your child's sake....because they still deserve a real and caring mother with her head on straight.
You are not the 1st person to experience similar circumstances and won't be the last.
ONLY you can make the proper changes and go in a positive direction away from the past.

Answer 5

I was in the exact same situation...know what finally worked for me? I started dating again, and eventually found the TRUE love of my life. We are now engaged to be married, and I couldn't be happier. I still have to deal with some occasional drama thanks to my evil ex, but I have my fiance, my "rock" to lean on and help me through it. Things are not nearly as overwhelming when you have someone else helping you shoulder the burden, and it's easy to let go of all the hateful feelings now that I am truly happy and content with my life. I know it may sound a little politically incorrect, and it might not work for everyone, but sometimes a girl just needs a good man! I say, get back on that horse, girl...your Prince Charming is somewhere out there, waiting to rescue you!

Answer 6

There is nothing worse than ex husband who is a terrible person. I have an evil ex husband. First, you have to let go of the anger and resentment. You can't change him. You can't make him a caring loving person or father. Once you can let go of the hurt and anger, then you just have to realize that you are stuck with him for the life of your child. It is unfortunate that we marry or have children with the wrong men, but sometimes we do. Don't let him get under your skin. It is not only not worth it, don't make him so important that he knows how angry it makes you. For men like this, it just makes them worse, not better. Shake it off. Letting go will not only be better for you, but for your child. And, children come first. It is not her fault that her father is the type of man that he is. It is important that you don't show your child how you feel about his or her father as well. That isn't good for anyone. The bottom line is this....when you are the hurt one, you often feel anger. Let it go. If you don't, you will ultimately ruin your life and your childs.

Answer 7

I don't know but after a wicked seperation isn't it normal to want the worst to happen to him because of all the pain he has inflicted on you... there is a season you go through that you will be angry with him... how long this lasts is up to you.

But for your own good and baby's there is a season where it's time to move on and the two of you make your own life... a happy one.

Personally myself the quicker you are able to forgive him and say "I am not going to let him take any more of me" "I'm not going to let him have anymore power over me" "I'm moving forward" the faster you will heal and be able to make a better life for yourselves.

It's going to be tough though, finances changes and everything, if you have a strong support group who will let you vent and help you through this would help with the healing.

Answer 8

You loved him enough to share yourself with him and make a child. Look at that baby and know that it was meant to be, even if it was not meant to last. He is making bad choices but that does't mean you should. Be glad you don't live his life and have more to give to your child than irresponsibility and crappy decisions. Don't let him touch you, or be alone with you. The pull he has for you is still strong, but will only hurt you and your baby in the long run. You have more to take care of than just you now.

Answer 9

Count your blessings and be happy he's your ex now. Feel sorry for that naive 17 yr old girl, and the best part... you're free to move on with your life.
Put aside all the ill feelings you have towards him, it only make you feel awful and he's not worth it, right?
Good luck and whenever somebody disturb your peace, just set it aside and ignore it. Let the law deal with him.

Answer 10

You have all the rite to hate him, but learn to forgive and forget, you should be bless that the relationship did not get on, or else you may be worst off, say good luck to the 17th years old gal, she may hve to go thru hell.

Get on with what you have now, learn from mistake, for his life, god will take care of it, you should erase your evil thought, be reborn to seek the peace and harmony.