For full background, see my previous posting about 3 year old seeing too much - basically she saw her dad try to knock my head off... I've not really dealt with it since it happened 9 mos ago and she keeps bringing it up - THOUGH I DON'T TALK ABOUT IT TO HER UNLESS SHE ASKS AND DON'T TALK BAD OF HER FATHER.
Many people are suggesting in answer to my post to take her to counseling. I love her dearly and would do it if it helped... Any personal experiences / suggestions would be great... Thanks.
Wildflower
2007-06-23 18:45:55 · 9 answers · asked by Wildflower 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi, you need to find a child development psychologist who works in the field of domestic violence. What they do is listen to the child, watch them play and look at their drawings. From this information the Psychologist is able to decipher what occurred for your daughter that night. You see what was happening for you was not her experience and you can only interprete what she may have seen not what she felt.
All information is collated and then you are given assistance on how to work through this with her when you are at home. It may take several sessions for information to start making a picture of your daughter's experience so it is not something that is going to be fixed in one or two sessions.
You must also have counselling for you as this man broke his trust of looking after you and keeping you safe. Your hopes and dreams of your marriage came falling down all around you and often children's memories become attached to the adult's emotions. Your daughter is still in what is termed 'non-verbal' development and it is what you don't say that she 'hears'.
Best wishes and good luck for the future.
2007-06-23 19:00:27 · answer #1 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My girlfriend's 3 year old niece went to counseling for a similar situation and things worked out very well. This was about 10 years ago and the incident discussed is not even mentioned these days. She got it off her chest and it was done. Counselors are trained to allow children to talk without a devastating effect.
2007-06-29 04:23:51 · answer #2 · answered by patriciaannbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a three year old is young for counseling. I have a 6 year old who is in therapy because of her father, and I also have a 3 year old who is showing signs of needing therapy, but the therapist thinks he is too young. 3 year olds can only assimilate so much information. Sometimes they repeat and ask things a million time, just because. Remember, they aren't trying to make sense of a situation, just parotting.
2007-06-23 19:14:20 · answer #3 · answered by Lee B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You seem to have a healthy approach to the issue. If the question is, "can a 3-year-old benefit from therapy?" the answer is "yes". But as has been suggested, you need a therapist who specializes in children. You might also see one for yourself. The experience you describe can't have been pleasant.
2007-06-23 19:15:55 · answer #4 · answered by judgebill 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had to take my nephews to the therapist for three years because their mother abused and abandoned them. It helped them in ways that I cannot express. They were so angry when we first took them and when the sessions ended they were like normal little boys. I would recommend a child therapist to anyone that is having a problem with their child such as yours and the situation I described.
2007-06-29 09:43:37 · answer #5 · answered by M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling is a great idea. A child therapist can help your daughter better understand and handle the situation.
God bless and good luck!
2007-06-29 09:38:05 · answer #6 · answered by misunderstood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play therapy is the best thing for this age!
play therapy (pl)
n.
A form of psychotherapy used with children to help them express or act out their experiences, feelings, and problems by playing with dolls, toys, and other play material, under the guidance or observation of a therapist.
2007-06-23 21:08:07 · answer #7 · answered by starrrrgazer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counselors are great dealing with all age groups. They don't even need to talk about the experience to help heal their emotional scars.
2007-06-29 11:37:36 · answer #8 · answered by koriek361 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be careful and very selective when going to councelors, I know of several cases where they took their child to counselors and it turned into a child services mess.
they lost her kids for several months till everything was cleared up. [ the small child said things that made both parents look unfit or was coached into saying thing not sure]
be sure they understand what your looking for and that they have proper training for that field of study.
sorry to hear this and hope everything works out for you and your child.
2007-06-23 19:19:10 · answer #9 · answered by kiphyn b 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋