I am 32 year old recovering heroin addict and a father of a 7 year old son. I have struggled with heroin addiction since I was 15 years old, I divorced from my ex-wife back in '05. I have been clean for 3 months now. My wife ended up getting full custody of our son when we divorced because of my addiction.
I am trying to straighten up my life. I attend narcotics anonymous every single day. I haven't missed a day for 3 months. Would it be unreasonable to ask for visitation with my son? I just want to see my son, I love him more than anything on Earth, and I want to be there for him. How could I go about petitioning for custody, because my wife will not let me see him at all because she said " I am not a father to him anymore".
2007-06-23 18:12:32 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I pay $350.00 a month in child support.
2007-06-23 18:13:20 · update #1
With your drug use history it is too soon to petition the court for custody, wait until you are clean for a year for that also, you have to start seeing your son first and get your "father son" relationship with him. You should petition the court for visitation rights first. If the court gives you visitation, take what you can get and every few months go back for more. I am sorry to say this but, you are doing great getting off the drugs although, it takes time to show that to the courts. So, start with what they will give you even if that means supervised visits and make sure you are always there and on time..
2007-06-23 18:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
congrats on staying clean for 3 months, you are doing great.
However, I think it is too soon to try and share custody. You just need to work on visitation first. This will take a great deal of talking with your x about this, and find out what it is that she wants to see from you in order to see your son. I think that you already realize that trust was broken when you chose to use heroin, and trust is something that has to be earned, it is not freely given. Your x is looking after your son...protecting him the best way she knows how, and right now she is not able to trust you....but like I said, trust is earned. Just like with your recovery....take small steps first. She will eventually come around. Always remember the love you have for your child, and as long as your love for him is true, this should keep you from using again.
Again congrats on your 3 months, and best of luck in the future....YOU CAN DO IT.
2007-06-23 18:22:51 · answer #2 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the situation was reversed, what would you think?
How about if you asked for supervised visits? She can choose who will be with you and your son, at least until you've hit the one year mark. Then petition the court for visitation.
Blessings on you and your hard work at recovery! Please keep working on you and staying clean no matter what happens right now with your son. He will get to know you when the time is right, even if it isn't when you think it should be. And you want to be the dad he needs when it happens.
Remember, one day at a time. Or one afternoon, or one hour. Believe in you and your ability to overcome.
2007-06-23 18:29:45 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would. Though he would definitely have to prove to me that he's clean and staying that way. It wouldn't be easy but I'd willing to work past it with him. It all really depends. I don't think anybody can say for sure until they're actually placed in that situation. It's up to you, I think. If you think that the relationship is ready for that kind of news. Might be best to tell them as soon as you're ready to do so. Tell them that you're not the same anymore and that you've changed and still are changing (provided that the statement is fact and not fiction). It's really hard to say and I'm actually racking my brain to give you a proper answer because there is so much to take into consideration. I would make him promise that he wouldn't relapse and if he breaks that promise then THAT is when I would break up.
2016-05-18 23:29:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can petition the court for visitation with your son. They have to rule before it begins and it might be supervised for a while under the condition that you stay sober for x amount of time and pass random drug tests they give you. But if you are willing to do that then I wouldn't understand why you couldn't see him unless you gave up parental rights to him in which case you wouldn't be required to pay child support.
2007-06-23 18:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by indydst8 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you seek legal counsel who will help you petition the court for supervised visitations to begin with. If the court grants you visitation your ex can't keep you from seeing your son for appointed visitations. If she tries to she can be held in contempt and possibly spend time in jail herself.
2007-06-23 21:31:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have to get a lawyer and ask his opinion on this.
You may want to go a different route with this, though. Tell his mother that you want to speak with her, get together with her from time to time. PROVE to her that your life is different. Tell her that you simply want to see your son, if only occasionally.
And never, ever, ever, ever do it again. Seriously.
2007-06-23 18:16:15 · answer #7 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋