My best friend is a completley different person. She has got a new bf and she is always with hi and doesn't make any time for me. I'm not jelous, i am just upset becuase i have done soo much for her and now she has just turned her back on me. Also i am worried that something bad is going to happen her. When i talk about it too my other frends they start bagging me and acuse me of liking her. I just want my best friend back! How can i get her to change back?
2007-06-23 17:44:07 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you cant change her
the best you can do is tell her what you think and how you feel
you just have to deal with it
its her life, not yours
2007-06-23 17:46:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You cannot make her change back. Even if you were to get her to dump her BF, she would resent you for it.
If it has been less than 6 weeks, you may just need to give it time --a new relationship is a lot of work. Being a good friend sometimes means taking a back seat for a while.
If it isn't new, then you need to find some sort of compromise. You won't get her to stop spending time with him, but you can possibly get her to spend time with you by inviting him -- invite the two of them to dinner, or to a movie that you think she and he would like.
Also, don't be too demanding. If she has a BF and you do not, and you are always trying to get her to do stuff, she could end up thinking that you are immature and a pain because you don't understand her relationship.
2007-06-23 17:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by mj69catz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. You can't change her back; only she can do that and only if she wants to.
2. She has a new priority in her life. Let her enjoy this time. Plan an outing and invite them both; get to know him.
3. There's nothing in your post that says why you think something bad is going to happen to her.
You seem to be the only person who has a problem with your best friend having a new boyfriend. She hasn't turn her back on you, she's just give time to another part of her life. As her friend, you shouldn't be keeping a tally of everything you've done for her; as her friend, you do things because you want to. You need to calm down as ask yourself what really going on with you and why you're having such a hard time. Change is not bad, in fact- it's an indication of growth and maturing.
2007-06-23 17:56:36 · answer #3 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very common for people to start acting different or spending all their time away when in a new relationship. Sometimes it lasts. You really shouldn't butt in. That will just push her away and make it more likely to last. If she's a good friend to you, it won't last and after the first few weeks or months of this relationship wear off, she'll be back to hanging out with you again.
2007-06-23 17:50:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SIMPLY, YOU CAN'T. FRIENDSHIP IS A TWO-PERSON AGREEMENT AND SHE HAS CHOSEN TO REPLACE YOU WITH HER MAN.
Don't fret for her. She ''is'' allowed to make decisions about her life....with or without your 'consent'!
Let go of your loyalties for now. If she needs you, she will make contact. She has not turned her back on you, so to speak, she is just growing in a natural progression for some people when they get a man/woman in their life.....they fall in love and only want to deal with them. She could be subject to bf alienating her from her family/friends; however, there is nothing no one can say to sway her...she has to make up her own mind.
Also remember, not all bf are bff. People come in and go out of our lives and that is normal. Not everyone stays for the 'duration' of life.
Get busy and do things that make you happy. Find another friend, or old aquaintance to become bf with. If you truly love her, just be there for herm, if she ever needs to get out from under the relationship! Some times being a friend means staying away for just a period of time. Good luck
2007-06-23 18:15:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always hear ppl in this section of Y!A's talking about best friends as if they were commodities. "I had a best friend, now he/she has gone out & gotten a new best friend, what do I do?"
well, are you still friends with her? Can't you be friends w/ this other supposed best friend & her at the same time? It's great to have friends. You should focus less on who is considered "best" & just enjoy what you have.
People always change, you'll change too, the sooner you learn to accept this fact of life the better off you'll be in the future.
2007-06-23 17:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Emily1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but we all change with time and love interests...it may seem cruel to you, but we have all gone through this. She is in love and is spending her time with the guy she loves. Your time with her will be very limited for a while. There may come a time when she will come back into your life, but it will be at a different level that what you have had. This is just how life is. good luck
2007-06-23 17:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey you cant change people,i don't think shes changed shes just enjoying being in another relationship,maybe you feel left out ,spend the spare time doing some things you like to do maybe make new friends,just because you feel you have done alot for her doesn't buy you that friendship ,you cant buy a forever friend ,as time goes on you will find many friends you will enjoy,some will have different interest than yours ,that doesn't mean they aren't your friend,one day you'll be the one with the love interest ,maybe you will understand then...try to put yourself in her place ,she will return in time maybe she will share her experience,maybe she will ask advice of you ,maybe she will need a soft shoulder to cry on ,you just be there for your friend when she needs you...ask your self what is it you like about this friend,and what is it you don't like about this friend ?why are you their friend? live and learn...
2007-06-23 18:06:01 · answer #8 · answered by Hana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends will do this from time to time throughout your life.
One thing you have to remember...you don't have to change friends if you understand that friends change. Give it a rest and hang out with other people. You will both be happier.
Also, remember, people need to make their own mistakes. You can't change anything that will or won't happen to her. If she reaches out, then you say something. Otherwise, again, leave the situation alone.
2007-06-23 17:49:08 · answer #9 · answered by Barbara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her how you feel, in person, not phone, not email- in person she feels the same way, you might have changed in ways too. she hasn't replaced you with a new bf, things have prob. been rocky between yall for a while, just meet up somewhere, and just talk this out, by the end of the night you'll both be best friends again!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-06-23 17:52:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her some time with her new b/f if you wanted her in the frist place you should have told her how you feel about her just let your friend get to know this new guy you might get a new chance to get her back soon let her know if thing don't work out that you want to take your chance just don't get beween the two
2007-06-23 17:57:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋